Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Children and Brothers, what are their Responsibilities.
It is hard to be a father, harder to be an alienated father.
As you know I fought as hard as I could for as long as I could for all my sons. Still, I cannot combat the damage done with this whole mess.
What I want to do today is address or give my views as a father and how I would expect my sons, that know the truth, to conduct themselves.
After my post about the court system and stuff I included comments I saw on facebook from my sons and others.
It was very clear that Kaleb was very upset to make such a public comment. I felt very sorry for him and the situation he was in. I did speak with him on the phone about it and he talked me out of actions I was about to take for his and Dakotas sake. I understood his reason and respected it.
I wish he could return the same respect. Even though I love him and I believe he loves me, the respect is not there, from him to me. I say this because his mother must have saw the blog and then he attack me. He sent a message cussing me out, calling me names and telling me how it was all my fault that he would now get kicked out of his mother’s house and have to live in his car. Now, because of the comment from his mother that I have posted on this blog, should I trust her or him? She, Linda says that the whole thing was just a trap on their part for me or perhaps Jan to fall into. I don’t follow the logic there so, I trust what Kaleb has sent. That his mother threatened and perhaps has (I have not talk with Kaleb since he sent the message, never replied) kicked him and his wife out of that house for making their comments on face book.
What upsets me about his message is there is no responsibility on his part. I never made those comments on a public place like face book, he did! He commented, his wife commented, Dakota commented and Josh commented. He is worried about himself when he should be worried about his brother! Kaleb is grown and married, it is time to stand up and be a man. He has no problem confronting me, or worrying about how I feel, but somehow he still seems very dependent on his mother. I don’t know all what goes on in that house and I don’t care except where conduct is damaging to my sons. Dakota seems to be doing fine, still as he had more solid back ground. Make no mistake, he was very much a part of the PA and lies to the court and others but I think he did so knowingly. Colton, I believe is convinced of all his mothers lies. This is why the change in his behavior, because he resents all my values, because of the teachings of his mother through parental alienation. While Josh stood up to the lies and attacks when he still was here and acted as the stabilizing factor in the family when they were at Lindas house, that ended when he graduated and moved.
The boys fear the verbal abuse from their mother, and I know they try to avoid it at all costs. But, the cost now is the loss of their youngest brother if they don’t stand up and be men. Dakota will be out of school in June and the two older boys have long been out of school and are, or should be independent by now. Their mother does not need them for support. Their brother does! His life and his future begs for his older brothers support, their influence and their love.
Kaleb just coped out when he attacked me. He made the comments very public. If he didn’t want others to know, then posting them on face book was a very poor idea! I believe he wanted others to know because his loves Colton and was in a panic about what was going on. That was good, to get it out in an attempt to help his brother. But don’t fall down and blame others at the 1st sight of problems. STAND UP! Take responsibility for your actions, confront your mother, confront your brother, get help and support from your other brothers! Stick together for Coltons sake and help him!!! Don’t bail out when the going gets tough. You made the stand, stand together and help! Dang it guys…Colton needs you all right now, HELP HIM! If you love your mother and you love Colton, do the right thing and address this issue.
You know these thing are true now or will be shortly;
Colton will be alone in that house, his mother will be out on a date many times during the week.
His mother does not know where he is at most of the time now.
She does not know where he spends the weekends, what he is doing or with who.
She will deny any wrong doing on his part or on her own part for that matter.
He is doing stuff that is illegal and wrong.
He is struggling with his school grades and it’s not because of intelligence.
He is not attending classes because he has no respect for your mother and never has. She can’t force him to do anything, he is the KING.
(in 10 days of school in April, he has 3 unexcused, 1 excused, 1 other absences and 1 tardy!) 24 times this year Colton has been absent!!!! And 20 times tardy! (yes, I called the school and got back on the site that Linda had me removed from)
He is 14 years old guys, 14 years old! Be brothers, help him.
You can blame me too if you like and there is enough of that to go around, but instead of blaming…do something positive together and help him. You are men yourselves now, act like it.
If you think I can do something you let me know and I will get in the fight again, Colton deserves no less from us. It seems that me just backing out and letting them all have their way, has not worked out so well for Mr. Colton. (It was my hope that he would grow up happy and without the constant conflict if I removed myself from the equation, I was wrong). He was just a baby when his mother left us all (yes, man up and remember, she left all you guys and me for months and moved next door to her boyfriend. Remember all the time you asked me where she was at night before see left us? I told you she was painting a house we bought, I lied to you in hopes of buying time. I was wrong, the truth no mater what is always best. You can live with it, not lies) and has had his childhood stolen from him. Think of him, he is your brother and we all have responsibility in his upbringing and his future.
If you have the feeling that I am upset you are correct! It is the craziness of the whole situation and the deterioration of my youngest sons life, your brother, that has me seeing red.
Be advised, there is no doubt but what your mother will read this and maybe before you do, Man up and deal with it!
Linda, while you have been spending time writing comments attacking me and attacking Jan, your son has missed 5 days of school. Maybe your time as a mother would be better spent correcting that situation instead of writing comments and visiting the school to have me removed from the website information. Will you never understand responsibility!!! The world does not revolve around you and your desires! If you don't want to be a parent then say so and I will take Colton and still pay you the stupid child support you whore after. Keep it! GIVE MY SON BACK!!! GIVE HIM A LIFE!