Search This Blog

Friday, August 26, 2011

Reply to Anonymous comment on Jealousy, the root of all Evil posted on March 29th 2010

Below is the comment;

Have you bothered to read your own blog? Children have one mother, and I am sure this mother was doing just fine with her kids until this new lady shows up and wants to be mom all of a sudden. It is fine to come in and love your new spouses children and be a good role model for them, but it is never ok to come in and be their "mom" for they already have one. You mentioned in your blog numerous times what a great "mom" your new wife is to your boys. Their real and only mom is not replaceable because you dont like her. I have the same problem with my childs stepmother. I am a great and loving mom. I got along just fine with my ex and we were able to co-parent together until his new wife came along. She wants to be mom now and wants me out of the picture. It is very damaging to a child when a new person comes along and thinks they are a replacement for their own parent and they know best, etc. etc. Step parents often try to force themselves into the parenting role and try to force the real parent out to get rid of their competition they feel. VERY SAD!!!

Here is my response;

Well anonymous, You sound like a very troubled woman indeed. It is very apparent from your comment that you, like my ex Linda, suffer from acute jealousy and most likely that stems from somewhere deep in your past. I expect that you have had to deal with low self esteem all your life. That is very unfortunate. It must be very difficult to go through life with a deep envy of others. Perhaps you have a sense of superiority over everyone else and this justifies your actions.  In any case you have my sympathies, yet this does cannot condone your behavior.

Point being you have no idea about the mother, so why the support of the mother and attack on the step mother? (I am sure this mother was doing just fine with her kids until this new lady shows up and wants to be mom all of a sudden)  From the day they were born she (the boys mother) could not handle the responsibility. She did not have to work and therefore had no job. Yet she chose to take a part time job and send the kids to day care because she said “I can’t stand it, they drive me crazy and I need a break from them”. The job only paid the day care fee so she was working for free just to get away from her own children. I understand that she is not alone, many mothers now days take this path. Later she would spend weekends with her friend to get away from me and the boys, leading to her abandoning her family and moving next door to her boyfriend while she was still married. On the week that she had the 4 boys, she would leave them alone and go out on the town with her boy friend. She repeatedly brought men home from the bars and gambling casinos to spend the night. All this on the week she had the boys. A decent mother would have at least stayed home with her sons during her week with them and limit her whoring around on the week the children where gone. You see, you know nothing of this woman. Would you condone such behavior???
I think that is why we see such a decline in our society. I firmly believe the most important responsibility a mother can have is to provide a good home environment and Christian instruction for the children. The children should be JOB ONE! Sadly many women put their own self ambitions in front of the kids welfare.

Why do make this statement: “it is never ok to come in and be their "mom" for they already have one”. You are very disturbed! The best thing any ex spouse could hope for is that a new step parent would be a loving caring person. If the children are only spending 1-2 days every couple of weeks with one of the parents then it would be difficult to have the same bond as say those who share time equally. In my case, my new wife was much more of a mother to my children than their own mother ever was. This fact was very plain for everyone see, even to my ex. This led to her jealousy, rage, attacks and in 2 of the 4 cases, successful alienation of the children from my new wife and myself!

You show a much to common mental condition when you make this statement: . “Their real and only mom is not replaceable because you dont like her.”
The “real” mom was never replaced nor was she ever spoken poorly of. Both my wife and me supported the boy’s mother. We even have many letters sent to her asking that she move closer to the boys and school. That would allow her more time with them. She refused our request and said she would not move to little Tijuana, insinuating that there were to many Mexicans where we lived. It seems it was fine for the boys to go to school there but she was not going to live there. If you wish, I can post those letters.

You seem to live in a very deranged world. Your statements about the new wife wanting to be the real mother, take control and “get rid of their competition” shows your paranoia. I don’t think it would matter at all who your ex remarried, you would fear any relationship she has with your kids. You seem to know in your heart your weakness as a parent and fear those will be exposed by any other woman. I think you are correct in that regard, any other woman may seem like a more loving and supporting  mother to your children than you. You need to focus on being a good mother and stop obsessing about your exs new wife!

Your accusations about “Step parents often try to force themselves into the parenting role and try to force the real parent out” are certainly unfounded in my case and I see no documentation that your view is supported by professionals in the field.

From your comments I can conclude that you are one of the mothers that would practice parental alienation as a way to stop your children from having a healthy relationship with their step mother and perhaps with the own father.   

In my case, the mother was documented to have an extreme anger problem and indeed was, “the worse case or parental alienation I have seen” by a doctor in the this field that spent time with her in his office.

I feel very sorry for your children, your ex and his wife. You must be a horrible person to try and co parent with.

For the sake of your children and that of your grandchildren, I hope you seek professional help.

14 comments:

  1. YOUR CHILDRENS MOTHERSeptember 4, 2011 at 12:23 AM

    SO SAD YOU CONTINUE WITH THE LIES!!! THE BLESSED
    CHRISTIAN YOU PLAY TO BE......GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF ALL IN THE END... I WILL PRAY FOR YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The new step"MOM" must have really been a good Christian woman for you to say these hateful things attacking Christians over and over again.
      You sound just like the crazy hateful women on the TV show Snapped!
      Snap... This crazy woman "Your Childrens Mother" is really SNAPpEd ! HaHa

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry YOUR CHILDRENS MOTHER, but you left your family to fend for themselves.
      Step-MOM's are called that for a reason, are you stupid!?!
      They are now the MOM of the house you left :)
      There will always and forever be step-moms because of women just like you.

      Delete
  2. Thank you for the response you gave to this obviously unbalanced woman's rant. I would also like to respond to her as well:

    I am a divorced mother of 2 kids and I was horrified to read your response to this blog. A few years ago my husband remarried and, as a result, my 2 boys also gained a stepmother. That's right, I said GAINED. Why you might ask? It's simple - a child can never have too much love or too many caring adults in his/her life. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the Greek tragedy play "Medea". Medea tells the story of the jealousy and revenge of a scorned woman who feels that she has been betrayed by her husband. As a result of her anger and in an act of vengence, she merders her children. The scariest part of it is all too familiar in today's society. Your comments are disturbingly similar to Medea's.
    I'm not sure what you were trying to accomplish by making such negative comments, but let me tell you, that post did nothing but make you look scarily umbalanced. It seems more like something you just concoted in your own mind based only on your fears and insecurities. It is such as shame that you cannot or will not see beyond your own jealousy and resentment. You are doing nothing but hurting your children. It is NOT love you are acting on, it's an unhealthy obsession and sounds like you think of children as possessions instead of people. Stop using them as pawns and weapons to hurt others. Grow up. Get some professional mental help for your issues and start acting like a REAL mother, not a vengeful bitter woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WATCHTHEPORNO.COM is better then seethetube.com

      Delete
  3. Sharron a "Real Mom"September 5, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    Psycho ex wives never Grow Up, they only grow more vengeful, hateful, resentful, spiteful, older, FATTER and uglier with each passing day. My step-childrens mother said the very same thing, everything was fine until HER, SHE and multiple other offensive words. The Psycho Ex Wife and kids stories of abuse and abandonment grow with each passing day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I post all comments, even from the children’s mother. Can anyone believe that she calls the letters and documentation…lies. She lives in her own world and her own reality she just makes up. Then she attacks my Christian belief by having the audacity to make a spin and pray for me.
    I know people who read this blog understand, I am just so very sorry for any and all of you who have to deal with a crazy, evil ex wife.
    It has been 10 years and seems she (Linda) can never let go.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my Linda, (AKA "Your childrens mother") how can you say the things you and your sons have said on public blogs? GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF ALL IN THE END... You should be ashamed of yourself! Your anger and hatred of your 4 sons father is disgraceful, but to say in anger how God will take care of him when you know he is sick with CANCER is beyond disgusting. What a miserable little life you must lead to talk the way you do. I dont think anyone here cares about you any more. You really are the epitome of the evil Psycho Ex Wife.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "It is the duty of parents to maintain their children decently, and according to their circumstances; to protect them according to the dictates of prudence; and to educate them according to the suggestions of a judicious and zealous regard for their usefulness, their respectability and happiness." --James Wilson, Lectures on Law, 1791

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just ran across your Blog
    Man, you have been through it for sure!
    I see things in your case that seem to be happening to me.
    Looks like I better stay in my attorney’s office until we have a better and full understanding of what a crazy ex wife is capable of!
    Where did I leave my shovel???

    ReplyDelete
  8. JEALOUSY FROM THE EX WIFE "YOUR CHILDREN'S MOTHER":
    Seriously, IMO anyone thinking of marrying a man with kids under 18 is nuts! Run as fast as you can and don't look back!
    I have been dealing with the ex wife for 9 years now and let me tell you it doesn't get any better, in fact it will get a lot worse as soon as you say those magical words "I DO". There is just way too much baggage there and you can get better, you deserve better. You can and deserve to be with someone who will devote himself to you and you won't have an ex wife or step children constantly trying to take control your own house. I know it's hard to deal with this answer but it's the best advise anyone can give you... TRUST ME! It's gonna be like this forever if you stay living in this kind of a crazy situation!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. There are always 3 sides to every story. Side A, side B, and somewhere in the middle is the truth. Why would you create a blog and publish the name of your children's mother if not to defame and publicly humiliate her? You claim to (along with your second wife-Jan-from whom you are also now divorced--a fact I find highly significant) not have been critical of your first wife in front of the children. What do you think this blog is? And, you have made the assertion that this blog will remain up forever. Gives me pause to rethink just precisely who the bitter one and the alienator is here. Perhaps there is enough alienation blame to go around equally. But the kicker for me is the hiding behind Christ while doing this. Christ NEVER defamed anyone (even those who would have been deserving of it) nor did he put people's business or their sins, "on the street." Apparently you have a lot more to learn about forgiveness. Your first wife may have personality problems. No one is disputing that possibility. But men have personality defects, too--one of the most common of which is being pathologically controlling in a passive-aggressive way aka. " The Mr. Nice Guy Syndrome" Perhaps you should do more study of self and less study of your X. After all, she IS one of your X's. Oh, and I wouldn't give you 2 cents for the opinions of shrink4men aka Dr. Tara. My personal belief is that she exploits unhappy men who have no ability or motivation to see what kind of problems their own behavior may have contributed to their relationships. I don't trust anyone who operates online for a fee, and whose vitriol toward their own sex literally drips from everything they write and publish.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Anonymous,

    Thank you for your comment. You indeed seem to be a thinker and that is why I will respond directly.
    3 sides? Perhaps but you make a false assertion when you say the truth is somewhere in the middle. That is like saying those who behead people are not evil but perhaps they are somewhere in the middle and maybe we just misunderstand them.
    I stand by all the statements I have made and those are backed up by the doctor, court investigator, signed statements and testimony. It is all public record.
    You have a distorted view of why the blog was created. Perhaps you could take the time to read about me and posts made on this blog. It was created as a way to help others understand about PA and its effects on children. The only way I can do that is by using personal experience. It has nothing to do with what you suggest as that would be just a waste of time and not productive at all. Again, read the posts!
    Why the interest in my D from Jan? and what “significant” do you find about this?
    Again your timing line is off; We supported the boy’s mother and worked to help their relationship. I could post many e-mails where we tried to work directly with her. You are very mistaken if you think we or I was critical of her in front of the boys. Again, sorry you have tunnel vision when it comes to this blog but the facts are it was created after the damage was done in an effort to not only help others but to even get the facts out so the boys could see the documented side of the (other side) of the story. You seem unable or unwilling to except the evil that PA is.
    Yes the blog will stay up in hopes of helping people just like you, to understand what PA is and how it can grow. I have had a couple requests from doctors and students to write or help them write about this very issue.
    Please, do not attempt to school me about the bible and its teachings. You are very wrong about your assertions about Christ. If you wish to respond I will take the time to give you many verses that will show Jesus publicly taking people to task.
    This has nothing to do with forgiveness and again, if you took the time to read the blogs you would see where I have forgiven her and I hold no malaise towards her, the damage was done, it is in the past and we all have moved on. The future is what we wish to make of it. We must understand the past, but not dwell on that pain or corruption.
    Yes I have my faults and yes I made mistakes with my children. All fathers, all mothers, all parents will make mistakes along the way and I made mine but never in a way to cause harm. I could only use my own upbringing and relationships with relatives to guild me, along with wisdom from the Bible.
    You may disagree with “shrink4men” and that is fine. There is a lot of good information out there and I have added links to many and used “with permission” their words to support my own position on an issue.
    If you have read my blog you will see that it is about the evil of PA and why parents should not engage in it of us their children as pawns to harm the other in a court battle.
    Thank you again for your comment. I hope my response clears things up for you and you address the Evils of PA for what it is and not attempt to just disparage me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thought this blog was supposed to be about The Evils of Parental Alienation? It should have been called When Fathers Don't Approve of Their Ex's Parenting Style. Parental Alienation is child abuse. It harms children when their bond with their biological parent is broken or damaged. This whole blog says nothing about the damage PA has on the children involved. It only says and shows how much anger and disapproval ex spouses have for each other. It's a waste of time for people who are really looking for info on PA.

      Delete