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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Unmarried or divorced father stats

Fathers who have never made the commitment of marriage or even of sticking around.
There was a time when fatherlessness was high on account of death. But: "A surprising suggestion emerging from recent social-science research," Popenoe points out, "is that it is decidedly worse to a child to lose a father in the modern, voluntary way than through death. The children of divorced and never-married mothers are less successful by almost every measure than the children of widowed mothers ... . And there is reason to believe that having an unmarried father is even worse for a child than having a divorced father."

And the statistical analyses of the US data are showing that children from a fatherless home are:

20 times more likely to end up in prison;

32 times more likely to run away.

20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.

14 times more likely to commit rape;

Nine times more likely to drop out of high school;

10 times more likely to abuse drugs;

Five times more likely to commit suicide;

Nine times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution;

Two times more likely to have children during their teenage years;

The litany of disaster continues in the US statistics:

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes;

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes;

71% of all high-school dropouts come from fatherless homes;

71% of teenage pregnancies are to children of single parents, so the cycle continues;

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical-abuse centers come from fatherless homes;

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes;

80% of rapists come from fatherless homes;

70% of juveniles in state facilities come from fatherless homes;

85% of all incarcerated youths grew up in a fatherless home.

Researchers have found that for children, the results of their mothers abandoning the marriage bed are nothing short of disastrous, along a number of dimensions

We ignore the problem of father absence to our peril. Of perhaps greatest concern is the lack of response from our lawmakers and policymakers, who pay lip service to the paramount importance of the "best interests of the child," yet turn a blind eye to father absence, ignoring the vast body of research on the dire consequences to children's well-being.

How appropriate that Justice Alito brought up cellphones in the recent Supreme Court hearings on the marriage cases. Because these days it seems like it is easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a cellphone contract.

It is no secret that marriage is in a state of severe crisis in America. And while academics, statisticians, and pundits may quarrel about the exact divorce rate or its causes, no one would deny that the widespread legalization of no-fault divorce beginning in the early 1970s saw an explosion of divorce in this country.

Yet as social conservatives, and even many liberals, wring their hands about marital and familial breakdown, few seem to question whether our experiment with treating marriage like a restaurant experience-order what you like and send it back if you change your mind-is worth reconsidering.

Instead, no-fault divorce has become an assumed feature of the landscape of unbridled American freedom. Whereas once freedom in this country meant the right to live a good life, the ability to be a moral agent in the human enterprise, the chance to chase happiness, it now increasingly appears to mean the right to do whatever you want whenever you feel like it, regardless of whom you destroy in the process.

No-fault divorce is destroying women, children, and men. More precisely, divorce destroys marriage, and the destruction of marriage harms every party involved. The legality of no-fault divorce just makes it infinitely easier to hurt people. There are no two ways about it. No one comes out of a divorce a happier and more whole person.

Particularly offensive no-fault divorces are those where one spouse is protesting. In these cases, one spouse is literally abandoning the other (and frequently the children as well), despite having made public vows and having signed a contract before civil and religious officials stating their lifelong commitment to his or her spouse.

In this country you can come home from work and tell your spouse the marriage is over and he or she can do nothing but cry, and fight for the best financial payout possible. Try doing that with Verizon. Or while under contract to buy a home. Or with your gym membership. You'll get laughed at.

Eighty percent of divorces are unilateral. The legal sanctioning of human abandonment must end.

The family court system needs to do a much better job of keeping families together and combating the Evils of Parental Alienation. 


  1. The Women's Rights Movement pushing for abortions and no fault divorce did nothing for women and their daughters but destroy their lives. Women and their children now live in Poverty, on Welfare are in and out of courts and are re-producing the same financial irrisponsibility in their childrens lives. The experiment FAILED.

  2. Justa Mom, you are so right!
    I wish it was hard to get married, like, 80 hours of adult studies and parenting classes. Then make it very hard to get divorced! Physical abuse or adultery, other than that, work it out! If there is a (D) then place the kids needs 1st and never allow there to be an incentive because of money. Rich or poor, make it a flat fee to support those kids basic needs and do not reward the custodial parent because they are a parent. Do not make a fight about money because it will led to all kinds of evil!

  3. My Dearest Colton,
    I have watched your struggles for the last 10 years now and it breaks my heart to hear of some of the serious life challenges you are facing now.

    I know you have experienced the loss of a father ever since your mother decided to live her own life as a single woman. Again, the truth is she left you boys and your dad, but what has been done is just that, done.
    Dear Colton I am so sorry that this happened to you when you were just an innocent 5 year old little boy. It’s never right at any age but it effects the youngest the most.

    Yes, I do know how you have struggled, because I've watched you since you were 7 years old!

    There are consequences of losing a father in your life, you know this very well. You also know what it is like to not be allowed to have a father anymore, especially when it came at such a tender young age.

    You had your entire world torn apart at the tender age of 5, never to be put together, ever... again. It’s just so sad, so sad that there had to be such a conflict after your father re-married.

    You know firsthand what it is like to live being split between two homes and two parents, living out of a suitcase while being driven back and forth each week from one town to another, traveling like a band of gypsy's.

    You and your brothers missed out on so many things that normal children take for granted, I'm so very sorry for that.
    I saw that in you four boys when your father and I married and I tried my best to make sure we all did fun things together, trying new foods, traveling with me to San Diego to go to the fun parks, taking you with me to the horse sales, talking your dad into taking you skiing, salmon fishing out in the ocean, buying snowmobiles and so much more.

    Colton, the years of research is now indisputable, Divorce HARMS CHILDREN....
    Period, end of story.
    I have cried over you, I have prayed over you and will continue to pray for you each and every day.

    I remember sitting in the truck and telling you that you would have difficult choices to make, and how unfortunately it was looking like you would have to make them all on your own with no guidance from a man... your father.
    But that I had faith in you!
    Do you remember that night Colton? I do, you had told me a lie about the horse water not being frozen for the colt when in reality it was, and I made it a point to stop while I was taking you to basketball practice to check.
    I remember telling you that you were "Made out of good stuff", that I had faith in you and knew that you would be "OK" because I knew what a fine young man you really were inside, and that I already knew this even at that early age of 11.

    (not enough room so I will use two comments)

  4. So why am I writing this now you ask?
    Because you have a son of your own that will be 1 year old soon, he is forming his own idea of "His" world now Colton.
    What will your son's life look like?
    Where will he live?
    Will you force him to live in chaos back and forth between two parents?
    Or will you marry his young mother and stay a committed father to your son until he's grown at 18?
    Or are you going to be unwilling to commit to your son and watch his mother begin a new life with your son on her own?
    Are you going to be unwilling to help his mother raise him, not once in a while when you visit but as a real father who is in his home living with him?

    Do you know what will eventually happen if you do not make a commitment to him and marry your son's mother?
    I do!

    What story will his mom end up telling your son about "YOU" if you don't commit to them both?
    What will she tell him when he finds out both of his unwed teenaged parents were never even married and that he's an illegitimate child?
    What will that make him feel like?
    Will your sons mother tell him that his dad was a high school dropout? Or that he went on and obtained his diploma or an equivalent GED?

    I can (from well researched statistics) draw you a pretty accurate picture of what your son's life will look like if you do not marry his mother and become a full time real daddy.
    Yes, that pretty young mother with her entire lifetime ahead of her will eventually get married and have more children, she will provide her son with brothers and sisters and a full time permanent real daddy if you are not willing to step up and be that man.

    Do you really want your son to be facing higher dropout rates, higher teen pregnancy rate (yes the cycle continues unless You Stop It), higher drug use, higher suicide rates in his life?
    Are you actually going to be ok giving your son this kind of a future that is written about in this blog?
    Statistics don't lie?
    Are you ok with him being forced to go thru the same struggles you did?

    I will continue to pray daily in earnest for you Colton, yes, I still believe you are made of good stuff!
    God knows you are good stuff!

    People care about you Colton, people love you.... no matter what you've been told.

    Ps. We would all love to see you and "Your Family" out at the ranch next Christmas, everyone asks about you all the time Colton.
    Please don't dismiss what you have endured and forced to suffer from a family being torn apart by Divorce, the statistics above are real, very real indeed and it will be no different for your son unless you step up and change it for him:

    Love you Colton, Jan

  5. Thanks Jan, Because of all that has happened I don't think he believes that we all still love and care for him. We just can't condone some of his actions, but that is the strongest type of love. One day, one day he will day.

  6. It was a complete sudden stop in my life when my relationship with my fiancee came to a halt without any reason and he said that he has fallen for someone else, it was Dr. Eziza who helped me get back my fiancee with a love spell and now we are happily married, thanks a lot Dr. Eziza. If you need his help to restore your relationship back, you can contact him via or +2348058176289

  7. Well, I don't believe in spells but a relationship with God and the power of prayer is very powerful tool in any relationship, We all should use them often.