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Friday, April 30, 2010

A thought to carry you into the weekend

Jan with her stepson Colton. What, beauty, happiness, joy and love you can see in their eyes!

“Keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” (Psalm 34:13-14)

There are many passages throughout the Bible that remind us to watch our tongues. I wonder why! Really listen to the people around you today and hear what comes from their lips. Think before you speak and use your voice to glorify our Savior!

For those of you who are lying to yourself, lying to others for profit or lying to inflict pain or with the intent to harm someone, remember your time on this earth is limited but your final judgment will be everlasting.

Count your blessings a have a great weekend my friends!


Thursday, April 22, 2010

Cancer, Stress,PAS and Life

People are still e-mailing and asking me about my cancer and what is happening with the boys.

Well, right now my cancer treatment is on hold because I do not have the funds available for the radiation treatment and my insurance will not pay for it.

I have been paying an extreme amount for child support and this has me in financial hole. So I have been changing my diet,(lost 20 pounds, didn't think I had that to lose :),  reducing my stress level and doing natural remedies.

The boys?

Well, I really only have contact with my oldest son Josh.
Kalebs girl friend has not liked me since the day we met, and as a live in girlfriend…Kaleb does not call me. No call from Dakota about my treatment or condition or how I am feeling. I try not to think about this much because if I dwell on the issue it does raise my stress level and that may end up killing me.

Colton, well he is 13 years old now. His school grade point average has dropped a full percentage point from the time he left me and went to his mothers. The report cards show him being disruptive in class and just the other day I received and e-mail from a teacher reporting that he had to take Colton out of the class to speak with him. Colton has a face book site where he talks about drinking, sex, uses foul language and tells his friend that I, his Dad, “is a piece of shit”. So, that is not going so well. I got a call from Jan and that she had a message from Colton on face book. The subject was (IRS) and there was no message. I checked mine and it was the same.

So, Colton has never contacted me about my cancer and when he does send a message it is a threat of “IRS”. It must be over the child support issue. But a threat is just that, a threat against his father with cancer who can’t afford treatment right now. One question is for you all that read this, did Colton send that message or his mother? Why would a 13 year old be so upset about child support that he would make threats to his father and ex step mother? If he sent the message, has he lost all of his humanity and now hate and evil consume him? Or did his mother use his site to send the message? And if she did, what does that say about her mental state in light of what the Doctor and court investigator reported?

Anyway, I am doing my best to live happy and forget the pain of the past. I am involved with others, and I hope and pray that my experience will help them in some way.

My friend sent me these 5 things and the last one made me cry. Wouldn’t it be great if all of us and our children would follow these examples?

Five lessons about the way we treat people

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student And had breezed through the questions until I read the last one.

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the Cleaning woman several times. She was tall, Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers, You will meet many people. All are significant.. They Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello.."

I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m.., an older African American Woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a Giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read:

"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my Clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient...

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the

King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money,

love like you've never been hurt,

and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

I thank God everyday for his blessings in my life;

Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest.

~ Mark Twain

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13, NLT)

God allows us to make our own choices in life. He also made us so that we know right from wrong. Choose wisely … your future depends on the choices you make every single day!


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Family court system is Morally bankrupt

“The divorce system is counterintuitive and morally bankrupt, and needs reinventing… What the organized fathers’ groups want isn’t wrong or mean-spirited but right and fair to children. Who among us can blame a man, wrongfully denied his own child, for shouting out that he was framed?”–syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker

Washington Post syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker, whose column is published in over 300 newspapers weekly, was recently awarded the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Parker has long been a friend of the family court reform movement in general and Fathers & Families in particular, and we congratulate her on this impressive and well-deserved honor.

Parker was raised by a single father, Hal Connor, and spoke of him warmly and often in her columns. She wrote that from her father “I learned that fathers will lay their lives down for their children. I learned that men are capable of honor, valor, compassion and courage and that they are essential to instilling those virtues in their sons and daughters.”

In “I Have My Father’s Hands,” she explained:

“[My father believed] you did what you had to do in life with aplomb and dignity, whether it was fighting for your country or defending your values and beliefs. His were non-negotiable. He was fair to all and looked down on no one. He demanded honor, loyalty and honesty from his constituents- always. Honor and loyalty to family were the same as honor and loyalty to country. You betrayed neither, and died for both if you had to.

His favorite saying, by Theodore Roosevelt, sums up my father’s life and his legacy: “It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again … and who, at the worst, if he fails at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

I kissed my father’s hands one final time as the hospital chaplain administered his last rites. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. As is this: Goodbye, Popsie.