tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55552629526787817282024-03-13T09:21:59.444-07:00Evils Of Parental AlienationThis Blog will be taking on the Evil of Parental Alienation and our out of control family court system. This is a national effort. Action has to take place to expose the destructive nature of divorced parents and the Evil of Parental Alienation. Any person that would use Alienation tactics to extract revenge on an ex spouse by using their own children as weapons is mentally ill. Their issues need addressed by a psychologist and the courts need to put protections in place. Add your comments belowJust A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-957818907479287292015-11-08T11:31:00.000-08:002015-11-08T11:31:43.832-08:00Some more very good information and sound advice that we all need to follow!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Some more very good information and sound advice that we all need to follow!</b></span> </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">In most cases, a first marriage begins with the relationship,
front and center. Children don't come along until later.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">But in a blended family, children are already present when the
marriage begins. This is one reason blended families have a higher frequency of
divorce. They face several challenges at the very beginning that aren't present
in other marriage relationships.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">One of those challenges is the priority of the marriage.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">When children are present at the beginning of a relationship,
the children often become first. They take priority over the marriage itself.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">To some people, this doesn't seem like a huge concern. <i>Of course
we should focus on our children,</i> they might think. <i>It's good for them!</i>
But children aren't the nucleus of a family. Marriage is. And children are a
temporary assignment. They are going to grow up and start families of their
own.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #119ddd; font-size: 18.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">21-Day Inner Healing Journey<br />
<a href="http://marriagetoday.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=5f31d973b4be22dc134484a78&id=773050aae7&e=3c228ebb87"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 10.0pt;">A unique and powerful devotional from
Jimmy Evans.</span></a></span></div>
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<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">God explains His laws for marriage in Genesis 2:24-25. One of
these is the law of priority. He says "a man will leave his father and
mother." That means the marriage comes first over any other relationship.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">If your marriage revolves around your children, what happens at
age 18 when they leave for college? What happens when they get married? These
kinds of marriages lose their foundation. The husband and wife don't know what
to do with each other. That's why many divorces happen among empty-nest
couples.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Here are three things I want mothers and fathers in every
marriage to remember, whether they are in blended families or not:</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">First, your children will feel more secure when you are happy
and when they see you in a happy marriage.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Second, your successful marriage gives them a vision for the
future. They'll follow your lead. Are you giving them a good example to
emulate?</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">And third, when they grow up, you will still enjoy a stable life
and relationship. You won't be emotionally dependent on them. This helps them
flourish as adults and helps your marriage stay healthy.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">How can parents keep their marriage first in priority? One way
is to set aside time alone with each other on a regular basis. Karen and I used
to tuck our children into their beds at night and then make sure they stayed in
their rooms. "This is our time together," we would tell them.
"Don't come out unless it's an emergency."</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">This taught the kids to respect our time. Then, on a regular
basis, Karen and I went out for a date night. We let our parents take care of
the kids and would spend an uninterrupted night or even weekend together. This
time was so vital.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">When our children left home, we thanked God we had prioritized
our marriage because we had built a strong relationship that wasn't dependent
on our kids.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">A successful family does not build itself around children, but
around the marriage itself. Yes, children deserve your attention. Love them
unconditionally. Give them quality time. But don't neglect your marriage to
focus on your kids.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Put your marriage first, and remember this: When you work on your
marriage, you are doing your children a favor. </span></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-22902648116400306192015-11-03T10:36:00.000-08:002015-11-03T10:36:41.444-08:00Blended families by Jimmy Evans <!--[if !mso]>
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<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<strong><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Dear Bruce, </span></strong><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Fifty percent of all families are blended families. These kinds
of family structures—where one or both spouses bring children from a previous
marriage or relationship—can be challenging. Blended families have a higher
divorce rate because of particular dynamics present at the first day of the new
marriage.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">In my counseling, I've seen one particular dynamic lead to a
variety of problems: non-biological parenting. This is the relationship between
a step-parent and stepchildren.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Biological parents often enter a new marriage with a protective
instinct. They may come into the new relationship with emotional damage from
their past, and that results in a lack of trust.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">They may not trust their new spouse with decisions related to
stepchildren.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #119ddd; font-size: 18.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">21-Day Inner Healing Journey<br />
<a href="http://marriagetoday.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=5f31d973b4be22dc134484a78&id=150f9717e5&e=3c228ebb87"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 10.0pt;">A unique and powerful devotional from
Jimmy Evans.</span></a></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">They may not view the new spouse as an equal when it comes to
parenting.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">They may think, "They don't love them like I love
them."</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">These attitudes are asking for trouble. In these situations,
I've heard one spouse say something like this: "You may not be my spouse
the rest of my life, but my children are going to be my children the rest of my
life. And if it comes down to a choice, I choose my children."</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">That's a very dangerous mistake to make in a relationship.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">In Genesis 2:24-25, God reveals His laws for marriage. One of
these is the law of possession. He says "the two shall become one."
Not one-point-three or one-point eight, but ONE. The only way two things can
become one is if both husband and wife surrender everything to the
relationship.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">That means finances, assets, decision-making, and children.
Withholding any one of those things—refusing to give it up—becomes an idol. It
threatens the marriage relationship.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Because marriage is trust. When you marry somebody, it's
imperative that they become co-owners of those children along with you. If you
don't trust a person with your children, then you shouldn't marry them.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">I do understand that, in the beginning of a relationship,
non-biological parents make not have the natural love a biological parent has
for his or her child. However, they <i>can</i> love a child by choice. This is
the same holy <i>agape</i> love God has for us. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Love by choice is the greatest level of love. It means doing
what Jesus would do regardless of emotion or circumstances.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">I'm not saying that a non-biological parent's love is better
than biological love. Nor am I saying that a non-biological parent should
replace the biological parent. But both parents do have to be equal.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">While it might be wise at the beginning of a new relationship
for the biological parent to enforce discipline—at least until the
non-biological parents gains authority— the non-biological parent should still
have full rights to that child. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Otherwise, these complicated relationships can drive a wedge
between a husband and wife.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Blended families, parent your children together. Follow God's
Law of Possession. Make sure the children see you trusting each other and
operating as a team. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<strong><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Blessings,</span></strong><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"></span></div>
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<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><img border="0" class="jimmyPhotoSig" id="_x0000_i1025" src="http://www.marriagetoday.com/_media/images/email_templates/wmb-new/test-email/jimmy-photo-signatureb.jpg" /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Blending Families: Parenting and Children </span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Blending
Families: Parenting and Children | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLjFEeGksk8" target="_blank"><span style="color: white; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><img alt="Watch the Video" border="0" class="mcnImage" id="_x0000_i1026" src="http://gallery.mailchimp.com/5f31d973b4be22dc134484a78/images/mcvid_youtube_cLjFEeGksk8_.jpg" title="Watch the Video" /></span></a></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">426 views</span></strong><span style="font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</td>
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Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-19646120162004948972015-09-02T10:35:00.000-07:002015-09-02T10:35:26.467-07:00PA, the cycle never ends<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">PA, the cycle never ends</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">For the thousands of you who follow this blog and
for all those who find yourself here because you now are experiencing parental
alienation…I cannot comfort you, I can’t help you prevent it or stop it in the
future. The only thing we can do here is to help educate and hope that the
victims (the children) can overcome the negativity and attacks that come with
PA. If you are a parent that finds yourself in despair over this situation,
send this blog to your children and ask them to spend some time reading with an
open mind and try to understand what is happening and why.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I write again today because I see PA in a family
that is very dear to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This time it is
the father who is attempting to turn his daughters against their mother and her
family. It brings back those old nightmares from years past. I have and my wife
has spoken with the mother and urged her to resist being drawn into the same
game. We advised her to speak only kind words about their father while in their (children)
company. If she wants to argue or engage his behavior, then do it in private
and do not discuss any of it with the children. Instead, if the children
ask or makes comments that are disparaging to the mother or her boyfriend, just
give positive responses. Do not lose control and say something you will regret
like “fine, you hate it here so much then just go live with your father”. Speech
like that will never get you the results you wish. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Think of the children 1<sup>st</sup>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">When you find
your anger building, focus on what is right by the kids. How would you like it
if your mother spoke negative about your father or the other way around? Would
you like it if your friend attacked your family with words? No you would not
and your children do not want to hear it either. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The person practicing PA will never understand this.
They only see themselves as champions of the children. They elevate their
self-esteem by degrading the other. They cover up their actions and poor life
choices by demonizing their ex or the relationship they are in. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The best thing either parent could ask for is that
their ex would marry a good person who they are happy with and that he or she
would love and support the children. The new marriage should be one where each
household supports the other home. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">They should raise the children to love and respect
their ex and their new partner. This way, instead of tearing the children apart,
pitting them against each other over affections and asking them to love one
parent more than the other… they could instead enjoy both households and grow
up loving and being loved by their parents and their new spouses.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Please, stop the Parental Alienation!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Sadly there are those who will not change, they will not
stop and will continue PA their entire life. I feel sorry for those people and
their families. Such a loss for the children and grandchildren when this
happens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In my case, after 13 years the PA continues. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">My relationship with my sons is now based on the
contact they wish to have. I will not force myself into their lives. I follow
and enjoy in seeing their happiness. It will never be as I wanted for them,
never close to the family and friends I grew up with. I have accepted this. I
have a plan to leave behind a history of their father and family, for them and for their
children. They can chose what to do with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The Doctor referred to in this blog said to us point
blank; The PA will never stop. You will be demonized and vilified for the rest
of your life by your ex-wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She will
never stop and will continue even after your sons have moved out and started
their own families. She will continue with your grandchildren and there is
nothing you will be able to stop this. It is the worst case of PA I have ever
seen in my 26 years of practice. I’m very sorry for you and your family. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">He is being proved right even after 13 plus years;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mental abuse is the worst..you know who you are and what you
did...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
August 30 at 12:41pm</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are so many men that can't be a man turn their backs
and choose others over their own children! Who are selfious and maybe make time
only when its conveient for them or when they become sick they wonder where
their child or children have gone.. Its like the cats in the craddle song by I
believe Jim Croochy sang</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 · August 14 at 7:12am</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm so proud of my four sons for the men they have
become...the acomplishments and future ones.For those doubters proved all of
you wrong. Keep writing your mind numbing blogs...... I have stood by them thru
ups and downs thick and thin. I couldn't ask for anything else...Also my two
grandsons who I love dearly.....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">The above FB posts are from my ex, speaking with a
daughter in-law whom I have yet to meet. How did I get them? A friend saw them
and was disturbed at what she read. Point is that after all these years, she
still practices PA with the children and their families.What impact does this conversation have with a person I have never met?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>Mental
abuse is the worst..you know who you are and what you did...<u>(<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">She
is addressing this towards me, it is an attempt to cover up her own actions)</span></u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
August 30 at 12:41pm</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are so many men that can't be a man turn their backs
and choose others over their own children! <u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">(Again, she is
referring to me getting remarried and standing by my new wife</span>) </u>Who are
selfious and maybe make time only when its conveient for them or when they
become sick <u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">(A
reference to my cancer)</span></u> they wonder where their child or children have
gone.. Its like the cats in the craddle song by I believe Jim Croochy sang</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 · August 14 at 7:12am</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm so proud of my four sons for the men they have
become...the acomplishments and future ones.For those doubters proved all of
you wrong. <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">(I<u>
guess this is referencing the troubles one child was having in school and as a
father I tried to hold him accountable)</u></span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep writing your mind numbing blogs<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">......(<u>In
case there was any doubt about who she is talking about, she removed that here)</u></span><u>
</u>I have stood by them thru ups and downs thick and thin. I couldn't ask for
anything else...Also my two grandsons who I love dearly.....<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><u>(Has a need to make sure that she is the one that loves the grand-kids. She tries to imply that I, the father do not love them as much as she does. Sad) </u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As the doctor said, it will never end.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Please, for those you read this, stop the PA now. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">PA
only serves to destroy relationships and damage children. Yes it hurts the
parent that it is directed at but at what cost? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; line-height: 107%;">Let your children grow up with the best two sets of
parents they can have. This is what your goal should be!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a></span></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-78965850607889331392014-11-16T08:17:00.000-08:002014-11-16T08:20:00.351-08:00Avoid PA by working on your marriage!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">If we are going to have true intimacy in our marriages, we have
to disarm the issues that hinder it. One of those is anger. Anger can be
destructive in a marriage.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">The first thing I want you to know is that anger is inevitable.
It's a normal response. You will never be so spiritual that you don't get
angry. Jesus even got angry. Great marriages still have anger.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Anger that occurs today is manageable. There's nothing wrong
with it. But yesterday's anger is a very dangerous thing. Ephesians 4:26-27
says, "Be angry, and do not sin: Do not let the sun go down on your wrath,
nor give place to the devil."</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">What that passage means is that anger, if it is not dealt with,
can become toxic and destructive. It can harden hearts. It has to be resolved
in righteous way. If it is not dealt with—if you let the sun "go
down" on it—then it builds in intensity for the next time. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #119ddd; font-size: 18.0pt; letter-spacing: -.1pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Help Us Reach Couples All Over the World.<br />
<a href="http://marriagetoday.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=5f31d973b4be22dc134484a78&id=b22d811757&e=3c228ebb87"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: 10.0pt;">Support MarriageToday</span></a></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">God never designed us to be a repository for anger. We are made
for anger to enter for a brief time, and then leave. Never to stay. That's why
the Bible is so insistent on forgiveness, because we can't endure it.
Unforgiveness and pent-up anger are corrosive on every level.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Anger leads to a whole system of thoughts—fear, accusations,
pride—that can create a destructive barrier between you and your spouse. Every
time anger arrives and you don't deal with it, that wall grows higher.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">So we must resolve anger in marriage. How should we do it?</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">First, we need to choose the right setting.</span></b><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"> Don't do it around
the kids. Your children need to watch you relate and talk things out, but
serious issues should be handled in private when your emotions are under
control.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Second, begin every confrontation with affirmation.</span></b><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"> Research indicates
that a conversation never rises above the level of the first three minutes. The
way you start talking to each other dictates how the conversation will end. If
you begin with threats, you've already set a negative tone for the
conversation. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Instead, begin by saying, "I love you and I'm glad that we're
married, but I need to talk to you about something." We're made in God's
image, and Psalm 100 says we enter His courts with praise—with positive words.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<b><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Finally, communicate your complaint without fixed judgments or
interpretations.</span></b><span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"> There's a difference between complaining and criticizing.
Complaining is talking about me and my feelings, but without interpreting
it—because I don't know what's in your heart. </span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Criticizing is an attack. It's me telling you how you're feeling
and interpreting your motives. It makes the other person defensive. Complaints
should be about a specific issue ("You said this and it made me feel
stressed out") rather than a global one ("You never do anything
around here").</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Don't go to bed angry. Create in your marriage a habit pattern
of dealing with it every day. When you do deal with conflict, do it the right
way: respectfully, with kindness and a tender heart.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">You won't be able to avoid anger, but you can avoid its
destructive qualities by never letting it fester. Don't let the sun go down on
your anger.</span></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y2xKJXbbNZg/VGjMbhjyYcI/AAAAAAAAARg/WGaO0iG0EIk/s1600/Bruce%2Band%2BJan%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bblack%2Bcanon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y2xKJXbbNZg/VGjMbhjyYcI/AAAAAAAAARg/WGaO0iG0EIk/s1600/Bruce%2Band%2BJan%2Bat%2Bthe%2Bblack%2Bcanon.JPG" height="320" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="color: #515151; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";"> Taking time to enjoy each other and all the blessings that God gives us. Love you Baby :)</span></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-18081343408737553762014-05-14T16:56:00.002-07:002014-05-14T16:58:01.094-07:00Letter from a child<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/lbTFZ8cvHo4" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Divorce is rotten thing, work it out. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;">For Gods sake what ever you do, keep the kids out of your arguments and do not use them as a tool to hurt your spouse. All that really does is hurt the child and he or she should be your main concern...think about it.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Save the kids from your fight! </span>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-6496612437912377022014-01-21T07:41:00.000-08:002014-01-21T07:41:54.406-08:00Unmarried or divorced father stats <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Fathers who have never made the commitment of marriage or
even of sticking around.</div>
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There was a time when fatherlessness was high on account
of death. But: "A surprising suggestion emerging from recent social-science
research," Popenoe points out, "is that it is decidedly worse to a
child to lose a father in the modern, voluntary way than through death. The
children of divorced and never-married mothers are less successful by almost
every measure than the children of widowed mothers ... . And there is reason to
believe that having an unmarried father is even worse for a child than having a
divorced father."</div>
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And the statistical analyses of the US data are showing
that children from a fatherless home are:</div>
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20 times more likely to end up in prison;</div>
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32 times more likely to run away.</div>
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20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.</div>
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14 times more likely to commit rape;</div>
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Nine times more likely to drop out of high school;</div>
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10 times more likely to abuse drugs;</div>
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Five times more likely to commit suicide;</div>
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Nine times more likely to end up in a state-operated
institution;</div>
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Two times more likely to have children during their
teenage years;</div>
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The litany of disaster continues in the US statistics:</div>
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85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders
come from fatherless homes;</div>
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90% of all homeless and runaway children are from
fatherless homes;</div>
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71% of all high-school dropouts come from fatherless
homes;</div>
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71% of teenage pregnancies are to children of single
parents, so the cycle continues;</div>
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75% of all adolescent patients in chemical-abuse centers
come from fatherless homes;</div>
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63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes;</div>
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80% of rapists come from fatherless homes;</div>
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70% of juveniles in state facilities come from fatherless
homes;</div>
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85% of all incarcerated youths grew up in a fatherless
home.</div>
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Researchers have found that for children, the results of
their mothers abandoning the marriage bed are nothing short of disastrous,
along a number of dimensions
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We ignore the problem of father absence to our peril. Of
perhaps greatest concern is the lack of response from our lawmakers and
policymakers, who pay lip service to the paramount importance of the "best
interests of the child," yet turn a blind eye to father absence, ignoring
the vast body of research on the dire consequences to children's well-being.</div>
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How appropriate that Justice Alito brought up cellphones
in the recent Supreme Court hearings on the marriage cases. Because these days
it seems like it is easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a
cellphone contract.</div>
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It is no secret that marriage is in a state of severe
crisis in America. And while academics, statisticians, and pundits may quarrel
about the exact divorce rate or its causes, no one would deny that the
widespread legalization of no-fault divorce beginning in the early 1970s saw an
explosion of divorce in this country.</div>
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Yet as social conservatives, and even many liberals,
wring their hands about marital and familial breakdown, few seem to question
whether our experiment with treating marriage like a restaurant
experience-order what you like and send it back if you change your mind-is
worth reconsidering.</div>
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Instead, no-fault divorce has become an assumed feature
of the landscape of unbridled American freedom. Whereas once freedom in this
country meant the right to live a good life, the ability to be a moral agent in
the human enterprise, the chance to chase happiness, it now increasingly
appears to mean the right to do whatever you want whenever you feel like it,
regardless of whom you destroy in the process.</div>
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No-fault divorce is destroying women, children, and men.
More precisely, divorce destroys marriage, and the destruction of marriage
harms every party involved. The legality of no-fault divorce just makes it
infinitely easier to hurt people. There are no two ways about it. No one comes
out of a divorce a happier and more whole person.</div>
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Particularly offensive no-fault divorces are those where
one spouse is protesting. In these cases, one spouse is literally abandoning
the other (and frequently the children as well), despite having made public
vows and having signed a contract before civil and religious officials stating
their lifelong commitment to his or her spouse.</div>
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In this country you can come home from work and tell your
spouse the marriage is over and he or she can do nothing but cry, and fight for
the best financial payout possible. Try doing that with Verizon. Or while under
contract to buy a home. Or with your gym membership. You'll get laughed at.</div>
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Eighty percent of divorces are unilateral. The legal sanctioning
of human abandonment must end.</div>
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The family court system needs to do a much better job of keeping families together and combating the Evils of Parental Alienation. </div>
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<br /></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-44455415003079462602014-01-09T14:05:00.001-08:002014-01-09T14:05:47.759-08:00Parenting is not that hard, but being a good one seems to be escaping most now days!<h1 class="entry-title" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #040004; font-family: calluna-sans-1, calluna-sans-2, 'Century Gothic', AppleGothic, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 28px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 30px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; orphans: auto; padding: 0px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
Honey Badger Rules of Parenting (Or Coaching!)</h1>
<div class="post-info" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: ff-basic-gothic-web-pro-1, ff-basic-gothic-web-pro-2, 'Century Gothic', AppleGothic, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 24px; margin: -5px 0px 15px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: lowercase; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
by<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="author vcard"><span class="fn"><a href="http://kellymuir.wordpress.com/author/kamuir68/" rel="author" style="color: #7a001c; text-decoration: none;" title="Kelly Muir">kelly muir</a></span></span><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>·<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="post-comments" style="margin: 0px 0px 0px 3px;"><a href="http://kellymuir.wordpress.com/2012/09/07/honey-badger-rules-of-parenting-or-coaching/#comments" style="color: #7a001c; text-decoration: none;">100 comments</a></span></div>
<div class="entry-content" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; clear: both; color: #666666; font-family: ff-basic-gothic-web-pro-1, ff-basic-gothic-web-pro-2, Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 24px; orphans: auto; overflow: hidden; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
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When my book<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><em>Instructor Revolution<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></em>was published, the most surprising feedback was NOT from martial art instructors but, rather, from teachers. Teachers who were frustrated dealing with parents year after year who simply make their job harder. We had many good laughs over the material. More than once it was suggested I should write a second book called “Parenting Revolution”. Great theory but I would NEVER do it. Why? Parenting is an on-going journey. I still have two kids in my home for at least 8 more years…that gives me plenty of time to screw it up! There are no real rules, no truly perfect pattern of parenting. After 22 years of parenting, and 8 more “in home” years to go, I know enough to know that sometimes I get it right, and, well, sometimes it is a crap shoot.</div>
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Regardless, there are some hard and fast rules I have learned through the years. Some were hard earned, some came easy. This blog is my Top Ten. If you can use any of them, great. If you can’t, great. If I offend you, Great. If I don’t, Great. There is a reason this is called the “Honey Badger Rules of Parenting”. Enjoy….</div>
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<a href="http://kellymuir.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/honeybadger1.jpg" style="color: #7a001c; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-787" height="223" src="http://kellymuir.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/honeybadger1.jpg?w=300&h=223" style="border: none; height: auto; max-width: 440px;" title="honeybadger1" width="300" /></a><div class="wp-caption-text" style="color: #666666; font-family: ff-basic-gothic-web-pro-1, ff-basic-gothic-web-pro-2, Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 5px 0px; text-decoration: none;">
Photo Credit : Arnoud Quanjer</div>
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<strong>#1)</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><strong>You are in Charge. Your Kid is not.</strong> You do not need their permission to make a decision nor do you need to apologize for a decision you have made. In addition, you don’t need to explain the reason behind every thought in your head. Most of all, when you are having a conversation with someone else, it is not necessary to allow your child to interrupt the conversation every time they feel they have something to say. When they DO interrupt, it IS necessary to stop your conversation, let them know they are being rude and tell them to wait their turn. Despite the pervasive (and erroneous) belief that a child needs to express their precious thoughts as those thoughts develop, teaching them that the world does<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><em>not</em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>need to come to a screeching halt every time they want to speak is a lesson that will last them a lifetime.</div>
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#2)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><strong>Your Kid is Probably Not The MOST Brilliant, Amazing, Incredible human being on the earth.</strong>AND….telling them that they are does not make it so. What<em>does<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></em>work is being honest with them. We can all be encouraging to our children and help them to discover where their talents may be. After that, it is appropriate to assist them in maximizing their personal potential in those areas. It is reckless to insinuate that they are brilliant, spectacular or Unbelievable when, in fact, they may just be a little above average. A honey Badger parent doesn’t give a S*&^ about boosting their childs confidence using false praise. The HBP will be quick to point out that being an above average kid with a consistent work ethic almost always beats Raw talent that is not consistent. If a parent or teacher over states the childs ability, then the only consistent thread will be the kids skewed view of themselves.</div>
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Now, you may still think your child may be the “top of the top”, destined for greatness beyond greatness. Fair Enough. In that case, it is even MORE important that they are not constantly told how their very presence on this earth is life changing and that everyone who encounters them should throw open a door of opportunity. I guarantee that the more talented they are in WHATEVER area of life, there will many others just like them. If they really are<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><em>that</em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>gifted, they will meet those other incredibly gifted people along their journey. When they meet the others, your kid better be damn hungry. Regardless where their talents lie, they are going to need to compete. High level competition is brutal ~ guaranteeing there will be a long line of people waiting to destroy your kid in an effort to take their place at the top. That doesn’t sound reassuring, does it? Well, if you spend your entire 18 year parenting period assuring them how brilliant and amazing they are, they will be easily consumed by their own self importance. It’s a hell of a lot easier to be competitive when you have actually prepared for the competition. If a child has<em>only</em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>heard their parents or coaches give them glowing reviews, they aren’t even<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><em>expecting</em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>competition – let alone preparing for it.</div>
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#3)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><strong>Teach Your Kid The Value of Manual Labor.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span> I could never express how absolutely incredible I feel that it is for children to work. Not for an allowance…not even for a dime. They should learn to work because it’s just the right thing to do. Are we talking about making beds and doing dishes? No. They should be doing that everyday anyway. We are talking “hands on” physical work. If you don’t have much to do around the house, just make it up. When it snows, give them a shovel and make them move snow piles around. Why? Just for the hell of it. If they ask why, just tell them it’s good for them. Make them get up early, weed the yard, cut the grass, haul things around, clean the garage…whatever. Heck, go make them move stones from one side of the yard to another and then BACK again. Who cares WHAT they do – just make them do it. Why? Manual Work teaches a strong work ethic – period. It also teaches them to appreciate the hard work of other people.<a href="http://kellymuir.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/unknown-1.jpeg" style="color: #7a001c; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-790" src="http://kellymuir.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/unknown-1.jpeg?w=440" style="border: none; display: inline; float: left; height: auto; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; max-width: 440px;" title="Unknown-1" /></a></div>
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<strong>#4) Call it Like it is & Stop Making Excuses for Your Kid</strong></div>
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<li style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">If a child is acting like a brat, it is not only fair, but necessary, to tell them that they are. Don’t sugar coat it. You don’t need to. Acting like a brat as a child translates into acting like an jackass as an adult. I think we have plenty of adults running around who could have benefitted from having their parent tell them to knock off the bratty behavior early on.</li>
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<li style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">If a child is whining – tell them to stop. It’s pretty simple. When a child at my karate center begins to whine about something hurting them (My foot is sore, my toe hurts, I have a bruise…etc), I have one quick response: “If it isn’t broken, bleeding, or falling off, I don’t want to hear about it.” I keep a very close eye on real injuries but the overwhelming majority of the time when a child comes up to tell me that they have a bruise, they are tired, they have a sore finger, etc…those are excuses to do less work. If their left leg is out of commission, I will tell them to work on the right. If both legs are hurt, they can work the core. There is always something they can do and making whiney excuses isn’t on the list.</li>
</ul>
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<li style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">Knock off the crying. While parents don’t ever want to hear it, there is a time to tell a kid to stop the waterworks when they don’t get their way or they get their feelings hurt. Remember that old “ You want to cry ?I will give you something to cry about!” line from our parents and grand parents? Well, it really wasn’t such a bad line. At some point, it is fair, as a parent to say, “Toughen Up – the world doesn’t owe you a thing.” Sound harsh? If you don’t say it to them, trust me, someone else will.</li>
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<strong>#5) Shoot the Hostage.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Ok, don’t get all panicky. This is not as bad as it sounds UNLESS you place the monetary value of an item higher than the value of raising a solid human being. Sometimes it takes one extreme behavior to ensure that the kids get the message fast. Parents have a bad habit of “taking things away” from a child and then giving them back too easily. It doesn’t take a child very long to figure out that routine – and they then just ride out their time without the item. Even worse, kids learn very quickly that a simple “I’m sorry” can be just the ticket to get their prized possession back.</div>
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If you really want to make an impact and get your message across while simultaneaously ensuring that you will probably NEVER have to deal with a subject again – just “Shoot the Hostage.” This term came from me listening to my kids argue over a TV many years ago. I literally felt like the TV was holding me hostage in my own living room. As long as it was there, I was constantly forced to deal with it. So, rather than<em><strong>argue</strong></em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>with the kids who were <em><strong>arguing</strong></em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>over the TV – I just got rid of the TV. I took that thing out to the curb, put a sign on it that read “It’s Free and it Works” and waited for someone to pick it up. That TV was gone in 10 minutes and I went years without hearing that argument again. Problem…solved.</div>
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When your kids won’t let up over an item – just get rid of the item. I don’t care if it’s a tonka truck, an ipod or a car. If they can’t be respectful regarding it’s use, get rid of the damn thing and let them figure it out. Your swift and unpredictable action will probably be your single greatest moment of parenting. In one moment you will have demonstrated to your kid (s) that you mean business.The story will become family legend and I promise you that they will think twice The next time you say you are going to do something. Trust me, they will NOT question you.</div>
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<strong>#6) Stop Hovering!</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span> Give them some space to breathe, function, and maybe even fail. It won’t be the end of the world. It is part of learning about life. There is nothing more unimpressive than a parent who is making excuses or ensuring that everything in their world is “OK”. Once a child is around 9 or 10, They are old enough to begin working out the details of their day. Protect the big things (like safety, etc) and allow them to experience the small details.</div>
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<li style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">If they forget something for school, they can deal with the consequences. Stop running back to the school to take them homework, musical instruments or lunch bags. If they call, just say no. It’s perfectly normal to want to swoop in and make it all better, but what is the lesson there? Nothing. Let them suck it up once or twice. It’s elementary school. They will be just fine. Better to take an “F” on a third grade assignment and learn a lesson than flunk out of college at 20 years old.</li>
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<li style="list-style-type: square; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">Let Teachers teach and coaches coach. Trust that your child is exactly where they need to be in order to learn whatever lesson they need to learn…and then let it go. If you don’t like your child’s teacher, or you don’t like the way their coaches work with them, voice your opinion once and then let them do their job. Some of my greatest life lessons came from people who I had the hardest time dealing with. As parents, our job is not to always ensure our children’s comfort, it is also to provide wisdom and guidance at moments when they are uncomfortable. Learning to persevere through moments of frustration, even with other people, is a critical life component. When things are tough and a parent allows their kid to quit, or to completely change the situation using outside influences, they are truly just weakening their child and setting them up for failure further down the road. Let ‘em work it out.</li>
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<strong>#7) Expect them to Behave ~ All the Time.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I hear parents say, well, “Kids will be kids” in an effort to explain their bad behavior. I want to say, “You are right and you need to be the parent and tell them to knock it off.” My own kids have tried the “Well, other kids can do it.” I am a honey badger of a mother…I don’t give a shit what other kids and/or parents do.</div>
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<a href="http://kellymuir.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/unknown.jpeg" style="color: #7a001c; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="alignright size-full wp-image-789" src="http://kellymuir.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/unknown.jpeg?w=440" style="border: none; display: inline; float: right; height: auto; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; max-width: 440px;" title="Unknown" /></a></div>
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<strong>#8) You are NOT their friend.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Really, please learn this fast. We have a job. It takes about 18 years. When you decided to have a baby, you accepted the job. If you do your job well, you can be their friend after.</div>
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<strong>#9) No kid is beyond a bad decision.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Not mine. Not yours. Don’t be naïve. Put a kid in a group of other kids and anything can happen. NO parent is immune from their child making a bad decision. If someone suggests that your child was involved in something less than stellar, do NOT assume they are wrong simply because you are “certain” your child could never do such a thing. Due Diligence is required here.</div>
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<strong>#10) Be a little Crazy and Unpredictable.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span> The older kids get, the bigger issues they face. It’s not all white picket fences and lemonade stands. Making sure that your kid knows you are a little “off” is not a bad thing. Your kids AND their friends should know that you are NOT beyond showing up to check on them, sitting in their classroom, reading their email, commenting on their facebook or generally being a pain in their side until they are grown.</div>
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I have met parents who actually say that they would NEVER embarrass their child or “check up on them.” Crazy Talk. I make a Point to do those things. It pays off. Just last week, I pulled up next to a group of 13 year old boys. I recognized a few of them as boys my son knows from school. One of the boys thought it would be funny to “play” around in front of my car and block me from movng forward. Ironically, when I got out of my car to tell him to knock it off, another boy recognized me, turned to his buddy in a hurry and said, “Dude, that’s Reece’s Mom. She isn’t playin’. Stop it.” And he did. I got back in my car and watched the boys move on down the road without incident. Why? Well, apparently at least one kid had NO idea what I might do but he knew I would do something. Perfect. For that moment, I sighed and thought, “Chalk one up for all the Honey Badger Moms in the world….”</div>
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Do these ten rules make me a hard nosed mom, incapable of feeling emotion and love for my children? Hardly! It’s the opposite. When you Love your kid enough to lay down the law, be strong in the hard moments and hold your ground when all you really want to do is run to them, scoop them up and make it all better, a bell of victory rings in the parenting universe and your child moves one step forward to becoming a strong, healthy and productive adult. Remember, that is the Objective of the Job.</div>
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<span style="color: red;"><b>Parents, now go back and re-read it!</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><b>Children and young adults that read this blog, do your best to understand this post. But most of all, re-read it today and then again next week, see if the simple logic of what she says helps with the answers you are seeking.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: red;"><b>Good luck!</b></span></div>
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Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-14663339037723885132014-01-08T06:41:00.000-08:002014-01-08T06:41:45.405-08:00Rescuing and over-indulging our children is one of the most insidious forms of child abuse<h3 style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #eeeeee; color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 27px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">
<strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">1. We Risk Too Little</strong></h3>
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We live in a world that warns us of danger at every turn. Toxic. High voltage. Flammable. Slippery when wet. Steep curve ahead. Don’t walk. Hazard. This “safety first” preoccupation emerged over thirty years ago with the Tylenol scare and with children’s faces appearing on milk cartons. We became fearful of losing our kids. So we put knee-pads, safety belts and helmets on them…at the dinner table. (Actually I’m just kidding on that one). But, it’s true. We’ve insulated our kids from risk.</div>
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Author<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004K1F3K2/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B004K1F3K2&linkCode=as2&tag=growileade-20" style="color: #4d8b97; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Gever Tulley</a><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>suggests, “If you’re over 30, you probably walked to school, played on the monkey bars, and learned to high-dive at the public pool. If you’re younger, it’s unlikely you did any of these things. Yet, has the world become that much more dangerous? Statistically, no. But our society has created pervasive fears about letting kids be independent—and the consequences for our kids are serious.”</div>
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Unfortunately, <u>over-protecting our young people has had an adverse effect on them.</u></div>
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“Children of risk-averse parents have lower test scores and are slightly less likely to attend college than offspring of parents with more tolerant attitudes toward risk,” says a team led by Sarah Brown of the University of Sheffield in the UK. Aversion to risk may prevent parents from making inherently uncertain investments in their children’s human capital; it’s also possible that risk attitudes reflect cognitive ability, researchers say.” Sadly, this<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9485.2011.00568.x/abstract" style="color: #4d8b97; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank"><em style="font-style: italic; word-wrap: break-word;">Scottish Journal of Political Economy</em><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>report</a><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>won’t help us unless we do something about it. Adults continue to vote to remove playground equipment from parks so kids won’t have accidents; to request teachers stop using red ink as they grade papers and even cease from using the word “no” in class. It’s all too negative. I’m sorry—but while I understand the intent to protect students, we are failing miserably at preparing them for a world that will not be risk-free.</div>
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<a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13502930701321733" style="color: #4d8b97; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Psychologists in Europe</a><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>have discovered that if a child doesn’t play outside and is never allowed to experience a skinned knee or a broken bone, they frequently have phobias as adults. Interviews with young adults who never played on jungle gyms reveal they’re fearful of normal risks and commitment. The truth is, kids need to fall a few times to learn it is normal; teens likely need to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend to appreciate the emotional maturity that lasting relationships require.<u> Pain is actually a necessary teacher.</u> Consider your body for a moment. If you didn’t feel pain, you could burn yourself or step on a nail and never do something about the damage and infection until it was too late. Pain is a part of health and maturity.</div>
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Similarly, taking calculated risks is all a part of growing up. In fact, it plays a huge role. Childhood may be about safety and self-esteem, but as a student matures, risk and achievement are necessities in forming their identity and confidence. Because parents have removed “risk” from children’s lives, psychologists are discovering a syndrome as they counsel teens: <u>High Arrogance, Low Self-Esteem. They’re cocky, but deep down their confidence is hollow,</u> because it’s built off of watching YouTube videos, and perhaps not achieving something meaningful.</div>
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<a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885201410000201" style="color: #4d8b97; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">According to a study by University College London, risk-taking behavior peeks during adolescence</a>. Teens are apt to take more risks than any other age group. Their brain programs them to do so. It’s part of growing up. They must test boundaries, values and find their identity during these years. This is when they must learn, via experience, the consequences of certain behaviors. Our failure to let them risk may explain why so many young adults, between the ages of 22 and 35 still live at home or haven’t started their careers, or had a serious relationship. Normal risk taking at fourteen or fifteen would have prepared them for such decisions and the risks of moving away from home, launching a career or getting married.</div>
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<strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">2. We Rescue Too Quickly</strong></h3>
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This generation of young people has not developed some of the life skills kids did thirty years ago <u>because adults swoop in and take care of problems for them.</u> We remove the need for them to navigate hardships. May I illustrate?</div>
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Staff from four universities recently told me they encountered students who had never filled out a form or an application in their life. Desiring to care for their kids, and not disadvantage them, parents or teachers had always done it for them.</div>
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One freshman received a C- on her project and immediately called her mother, right in the middle of her class. After interrupting the class discussion with her complaint about her poor grade, she handed the cell phone to her professor and said, “<b><u>She wants to talk to you.</u></b>” Evidently, mom wanted to negotiate the grade.</div>
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A Harvard Admissions Counselor reported a prospective student looked him in the eye and answered every question he was asked. The counselor felt the boy’s mother must have coached him on eye-contact because he tended to look down after each response. Later, the counselor learned the<u> boy’s mom was texting him the answers every time a question came in.</u></div>
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A college president said <u></u>m<u>a mother of one of his students called him</u>, saying she’d seen that the weather would be cold that day and wondered if he would make sure her son was wearing his sweater as he went to class. She wasn’t joking.</div>
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This may sound harsh, but rescuing and over-indulging our children is one of <b><u>the most insidious forms of child abuse.</u></b> It’s “parenting for the short-term” and it sorely misses the point of leadership—to equip our young people to do it without help. Just like muscles atrophy inside of a cast due to disuse, their social, emotional, spiritual and intellectual muscles can shrink because they’re not exercised. For example, I remember when and where I learned the art of conflict resolution. I was eleven years old, and everyday about fifteen boys would gather after school to play baseball. We would choose sides and umpire our games. Through that consistent exercise, I learned to resolve conflict. I had to. Today, if the kids are outside at all, there are likely four <u>mothers present doing the conflict resolution for them.</u></div>
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The fact is, as students experience adults doing so much for them, they like it at first. Who wouldn’t? <u>They learn to play parents against each other,</u> they learn to negotiate with faculty for more time, lenient rules, extra credit and easier grades. This actually confirms that these kids are not stupid. <u>They learn to play the game</u>. Sooner or later, they know “someone will rescue me.” If I fail or “act out,” an adult will smooth things over and <u>remove any consequences for my misconduct. Once again, this isn’t even remotely close to how the world works. It actually disables our kids.</u></div>
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<strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">3. We Rave Too Easily</strong></h3>
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The self-esteem movement has been around since Baby Boomers were kids, but it took root in our school systems in the 1980s. We determined every kid would feel special, regardless of what they did, which meant they began hearing remarks like:</div>
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<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;">“You’re awesome!”</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;">“You’re smart.”</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;">“You’re gifted.”</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;">“You’re super!”</li>
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Attend a little league awards ceremony and you soon learn: everyone’s a winner. Everyone gets a trophy. They all get ribbons. We meant well—but research is now indicating this method has unintended consequences. Dr. Carol Dweck wrote a landmark book called,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345472322/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0345472322&linkCode=as2&tag=growileade-20" style="color: #4d8b97; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank"><em style="font-style: italic; word-wrap: break-word;">Mindset</em></a>. In it she reports findings about the adverse affects of praise. She tells of two groups of fifth grade students who took a test. Afterward, one group was told, “You must be smart.” The other group was told, “You must have worked hard.” When a second test was offered to the students, they were told that it would be harder and that they didn’t have to take it. Ninety percent of the kids who heard “you must be smart” opted not to take it. Why? They feared proving that the affirmation may be false. Of the second group, most of the kids chose to take the test, and while they didn’t do well, Dweck’s researchers heard them whispering under their breath, “This is my favorite test.” <u>They loved the challenge</u>. Finally, a third test was given, equally as hard as the first one. The result? The first group of students who were told they were smart, did worse. The second group did 30% better. Dweck concludes that our affirmation of kids must target factors in their control. When we say “you must have worked hard,” we are praising effort, which they have full control over. It tends to elicit more effort. When we praise smarts, it may provide a little confidence at first but ultimately causes a child to work less. They say to themselves, <b>“If it doesn’t come easy, I don’t want to do it.”</b></div>
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What’s more, <u>kids eventually observe that “mom” is the only one who thinks they’re “awesome.”</u> No one else is saying it. They begin to doubt the objectivity of their own mother; it feels good in the moment, but it’s not connected to reality.</div>
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Further,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0195051378/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0195051378&linkCode=as2&tag=growileade-20" style="color: #4d8b97; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Dr. Robert Cloninger</a>, at Washington University in St. Louis has done brain research on the prefrontal cortex, which monitors the reward center of the brain. He says the brain has to learn that frustrating spells can be worked through. The reward center of our brains learns to say: Don’t give up. Don’t stop trying. “A person who grows up getting too frequent rewards,” Cloninger says, “will not have persistence, because they’ll quit when the rewards disappear.”</div>
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When we rave too easily, <b><u>kids eventually learn to cheat, to exaggerate and lie and to avoid difficult reality.</u></b> They have not been conditioned to face it. A helpful metaphor when considering this challenge is: inoculation. When you get inoculated, a nurse injects a vaccine, which actually exposes you to a dose of the very disease your body must learn to overcome. It’s a good thing. Only then do we develop an immunity to it. Similarly, our kids must be inoculated with doses of hardship, delay, challenges and inconvenience to build the strength to stand in them.</div>
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<strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Eight Steps Toward Healthy Leadership</strong></h3>
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Obviously, negative risk taking should be discouraged, such as smoking, alcohol, illegal drugs, etc. In addition, there will be times our young people do need our help, or affirmation. But—healthy teens are going to want to spread their wings. They’ll need to try things on their own. And we, the adults, must let them. Here are some simple ideas you can employ as you navigate these waters:</div>
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<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Help them take calculated risks</strong>. Talk it over with them, but let them do it. Your primary job is to prepare your child for how the world really works.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Discuss how they must learn to make choices</strong>. They must prepare to both win and lose, not get all they want and to face the consequences of their decisions.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years</strong>. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together?</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc).</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well.</strong><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><u>Your job is not to make yourself feel good</u> by giving kids what makes them or you feel better when you give it.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Don’t reward basics that life requires</strong>. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.</li>
<li style="line-height: 18px; word-wrap: break-word;"><strong style="font-weight: bold; word-wrap: break-word;">Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely</strong>. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.</li>
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Bottom line? Your child does not have to love you every minute. He’ll get over the disappointment of failure but he won’t get over the effects of being spoiled. So let them fail, let them fall, and let them fight for what they really value. If we treat our kids as fragile, they will surely grow up to be fragile adults. We must prepare them for the world that awaits them.<u><b> Our world needs resilient adults not fragile ones.</b></u></div>
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<u><b><span style="color: blue;">A friend sent me this and I had to post it here. It has great insight and advise! </span></b></u></div>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #eeeeee; color: #333333; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 18px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"></span>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-51449732190033831512014-01-05T09:00:00.000-08:002014-01-05T09:00:21.207-08:00How will you be remembered?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When your story is read from the book of life, will you be
proud?
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As parents we all must consider our actions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As men and women, we must know that lies, deceptions and the
purposeful intent to harm someone or someone’s relationship with a child,
family member or new husband or wife is deplorable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have an ex that is practicing Parental Alienation then
my heart goes out to you. Being on the receiving end of such hate and witnessing
the destruction it has on your children, I have concluded that PA is a form of
rape, rape of one’s mind. It steals away their innocence; it destroys their childhood
and alters their future forever. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PA and the acceptance of it by a child; that is the
brainwashing effect it has on a developing mind, is devastating for the child. It
is only by the grace of God and an inter strength that children suffering this
kind of abuse will ever become happy and productive adults. You cannot poison your
child’s love for the other parent and expect them to grow up content with their
life. The sad fact is that many children that suffer from PA become very angry
and withdraw from any positive relationship with an adult. They instead turn to
depression because of their situation. They engage in risky behavior in the attempt
to find love and meaning in their life. Sex and drugs are among the top pacifiers
but may lead to total rebellion against anyone or anything they perceive as an authority
figure. You will see the child pull back from the activities they once enjoyed.
Their school grades will suffer. Their attitude towards officials, rules and
laws will diminish. The very thing that they were once proud of and enjoyed…will
become a thing of their past and their childhood friends will no long wish to
have a relationship with such a person. This leads to a downward spiral resulting
in the loss of that child. Yes, this also means turning their back on you, the
one that has tried so hard to make your child hate your ex. It has been said in
many different ways that you cannot elevate your own standing by tearing
someone else down. Purposely and intentionally inflecting pain and suffering on someone is not a noble endeavor. It is, self serving and in the case of PA, evil in the result. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have volunteered and worked with many developmentally
disabled young adults, mostly with those coming out of incarceration of some
sort. They all have anger issues to deal with and looking into their past, they
all have one or two parents that suffer from low self esteem and narcissistic behavior.
Many of these young adults suffer from the actions of the mother. That is, FAS
(drunks), smoking and drug use. The mothers were more concerned with their own pleasure
than that of the child they were carrying. The child will suffer from that
abuse for the rest of their lives. While some have not allowed the help they
need, many embrace a positive role model. They become hopeful and not only wish
to become, but in fact become aware of their own plight a chose to reject their
pain and anger and instead whole heartily immerse themselves into a positive
and productive lifestyle. Therefore I know that these young men and women can
change their lives, I know that children that suffer from Parental Alienation
can also! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I write this post in hopes that any child or young adult
that reads it will fully understand that their life is what they wish to make
it. I hope and pray that they all find peace and reconcile with their parent,
parents or estranged family members. You can have the live to deserve, but you
must have the courage to change. You must let go of your anger, your past and
your failures. You must be willing to say that enough is enough and I will not
live this way. Redirect your aggression in a positive manner. Use that weakness
as a strength, a power and a force to launch you in a new and positive
direction. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God has a plan for everything; He has a plan for you and for
me. Use your experience to help others, do not stay in the trap of poor, poor
pitiful me, my daddy is no good and no one cares about me. This is never true!
No matter the circumstances, your parents love you, your family loves you. Take
control, be positive and productive. Reject and distance yourself from those who
wish to keep you in their circle of uncaring misfits. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parent, if you are guilty of PA, STOP! It is never to late
to just stop. Find happiness in your life and let the anger for your ex go. You
will find your health will improve, your relationships will improve and your
life overall will improve.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To all who have read this;</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #37404e; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever
is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.</span><span style="color: #37404e; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; orphans: auto; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;" />
<span style="background: white;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; orphans: auto; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">Philippians 4:8</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yz8mkp3JWGU/UsmMo6KyRrI/AAAAAAAAAQ8/kPZiKL9g408/s1600/Josh+and+Colton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yz8mkp3JWGU/UsmMo6KyRrI/AAAAAAAAAQ8/kPZiKL9g408/s320/Josh+and+Colton.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V8RqbhnjBqw/UsmNbEudJzI/AAAAAAAAARE/C8nYRU380kU/s1600/Boys+and+Girls+2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V8RqbhnjBqw/UsmNbEudJzI/AAAAAAAAARE/C8nYRU380kU/s320/Boys+and+Girls+2.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><span style="background: white;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; orphans: auto; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"> Bothers and Family; what blessings and positive role models we have in life!</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-19174345276885529602013-12-22T10:47:00.000-08:002013-12-22T10:47:41.146-08:00Just stick to your values and keep on keeping on!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Isaiah 40:31</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. (<span style="color: blue;">waiting is the hard part, you must have faith!</span>)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They will fly high on wings like eagles. (<span style="color: blue;">You will get a reward, and it may come in many forms</span>)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They will run and not grow weary. (<span style="color: blue;">because you have the Lord in your heart, He will strengthen you</span>) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They will walk and not faint”. (<span style="color: blue;">You will stand by your convictions and go forward with truth and facts</span>)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background: #EFEFEF; line-height: 14.25pt;">
<b><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Unlike most other
plants, Chinese bamboo is quite unique on its own (<span style="color: blue;">like your child</span>). When this
bamboo is planted, watered, and nurtured for the whole growing season <span style="color: blue;">(just as
parent that suffers separation from their child due to PA, you still need to
nurture in your own way</span>), it does not outwardly develop even just for an inch.
(<span style="color: blue;">do not get discouraged when your efforts show no result</span>) Then, on the next
growing season, the farmer must continue to irrigate, fertilize and care for
the bamboo tree and yet nothing happens – it fails to sprout just the same. (<span style="color: blue;">Time
and time again, year after year it seems that you fail in your effort</span>)</span></b><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 14.25pt;">
<b style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background: #EFEFEF; color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">And as the seasons go in and out, the farmer has to
continue caring for the bamboo for four consecutive years. (<span style="color: blue;">just keep on trying,
don’t change</span>) What could really be discouraging is the farmer has nothing
substantial to demonstrate for all of his labor in caring and growing the tree.
Four lonely years of hard work and caring and yet you have nothing! (<span style="color: blue;">just like
with the efforts to educate your child or children, you can becomes discouraged, don't give in to that pressure)</span></span></b></div>
<div style="line-height: 14.25pt;">
<b><span style="background: #EFEFEF; color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">And then on the fifth
year, something so amazing and incredible Happens! (<span style="color: blue;">you just never know the day
when all your work will pay off</span>)</span></b></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: #EFEFEF; line-height: 14.25pt; orphans: auto; text-align: start; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">All the
hard work seems to be paid off on the fifth year because that Chinese bamboo
tree seed at last grows and not just growing as we normally see with other
plants. The bamboo tree shoots up to more than 80 feet all in just one growing
season!</span></b><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></span><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Now,
that is a very astonishing demonstration of the power of nature! (<b><span style="color: blue;">you have
hope, just as the farmer waits for this tree and those who love God wait on the
Lord, just keep watering and waiting!</span></b>)</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: #EFEFEF; line-height: 14.25pt; orphans: auto; text-align: start; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U6Bul_8uVrs/S273CzQr5EI/AAAAAAAAAB4/lXLrQyjWKbQ/s1600/Tday+20030002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U6Bul_8uVrs/S273CzQr5EI/AAAAAAAAAB4/lXLrQyjWKbQ/s400/Tday+20030002.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: #EFEFEF; line-height: 14.25pt; orphans: auto; text-align: start; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> So many smiles, so much love!</b></span></span></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-84902422774060983412013-11-08T06:26:00.000-08:002013-11-08T06:26:04.190-08:00This crazy stuff needs to stop! but when?<h1 id="article-title" itemprop="name" style="border: 0px none; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 38px; margin: 0px 0px 16px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
NY dad deemed unfit for not taking son to McDonald's</h1>
<div class="article-info" style="border: 0px none; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 16px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<time datetime="2013-11-08T02:17-05:00" itemprop="datePublished" pubdate="" style="border: 0px none; color: #999999; display: inline-block; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: top;">Published November 08, 2013</time><div itemprop="sourceOrganization" itemscope="" itemtype="http://schema.org/Organization" style="border: 0px none; color: #999999; display: inline-block; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-style: italic; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: top;">
New York Post</div>
</div>
<div id="introduction" style="border: 0px none; clear: both; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
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<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
A Manhattan dad is not lovin’ McDonald’s right now.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Attorney David Schorr slapped a court-appointed shrink with a defamation lawsuit for telling the judge deciding a custody battle with his estranged wife that he was an unfit parent — for refusing to take his son to the fast food joint for dinner.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
“You’d think it was sexual molestation,” Schorr, 43, told The Post Thursday. “I am just floored by it.”</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Schorr says in his Manhattan Supreme Court suit that E. 97th Street psychiatrist Marilyn Schiller filed a report saying he was “wholly incapable of taking care of his son” and should be denied his weekend visitation over the greasy burger ban.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Schorr, a corporate attorney turned consultant with degrees from NYU and Oxford University, had planned to take his 4-year-old son to their usual restaurant, the Corner Café on Third Avenue, for his weekly Tuesday night visitation last week.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
But the boy threw a temper tantrum and demanded McDonald’s. So he gave his son an ultimatum: dinner anywhere other than McDonald’s — or no dinner.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
“The child, stubborn as a mule, chose the ‘no dinner’ option,” the disgruntled dad says in the suit.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
“It was just a standoff. I’m kicking myself mightily,” Schorr said.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
“I wish I had taken him to McDonalds, but you get nervous about rewarding bad behavior. I was concerned. I think it was a 1950s equivalent of sending your child to bed without dinner. That’s maybe the worst thing you can say about it,” he said.</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Adding insult to injury, he said: “My wife immediately took him to McDonalds.”</div>
<div style="border: 0px none; color: black; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27px; margin-bottom: 24px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://nypost.com/2013/11/07/psychologist-called-dad-unfit-parent-for-refusing-son-mcdonalds-suit/" style="color: #183a52; cursor: pointer; outline: none 0px;" target="_blank">Click here for more from the New York Post.</a><img src="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/v/all/img/external-link.png" style="border: 0px none; margin: 4px 0px 0px 4px; max-width: 480px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" /></div>
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Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-36165004028159433092013-05-24T16:10:00.000-07:002013-05-24T16:10:13.600-07:005-24-13 Will he grow up despite us all? <div class="MsoNormal">
Well, let’s check in and see what the result of changing the
custodial parent from the father to the mother has had on young Colton. This is
the same child who commissioner Swanhart said was such a well mannered and
polite young man after she interviewed him in her chambers a couple of years
ago. It was after that meeting where
Swanhart was told things that could not have happened they way they were described
and yet she never used any common sense when evaluating the statements. I was
never allowed to question the statements or give any explanation of the facts.
Swanhart stole my sons without giving me the legal opportunity to fight for them.. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3 written statements against me were presented. My ex wife
Linda lied on here sworn statement, so did her girl friend (Lis) on the false
statement she made. The other statement Linda was able to extort was from her
sons then girl friend. This statement was also false and she apologized for
making such a statement but said she was under a lot of pressure and stress
because she was living with Linda at the time. 3 statements (lies) is all she
had…In 2 days I had 17 upstanding citizens write statements not attacking my ex-wife
like a grade school sandbox fight, but simple stated facts and supported me as
a father. Police officers, CASA Gal, church members, school board members, teachers,
school principle, (Who Linda complained to the school board about and demanded
that he be disciplined for writing me a letter of support) my oldest son and
many others wrote statements of support for me. Lies from Cottonhead and resentful
predisposition of Swanhart towards a clean cut man in a cowboy hat with a beautiful
wife by his side, led to an appalling ruling that wrecked a family and forever
altered young man’s life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Swanhart stole my sons future (with Linda Clark and Blain
Connaughton), he had a 3.57 gpa. He was not in trouble in school and in fact
was liked by the teachers, staff and students. He was happy and not into
gangster crap or drugs. We know from FB posts that his mother is aware of the
pot smoking but does not stop it. Neither does she have any positive influence over
his school grades, attendance or participation, seems that allowing him to have
sleep over’s with his girl friend was not a good parenting choice either. Linda
was never concerned about the boys welfare or future, they were turned lose at
her house. As long as they didn’t interfere with her dating and nightlife, she
didn’t care where they went or what they did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks Swanhart, you
gave the boys to the one person that was described by the court appointed
investigator as “showing more interest in her own financial situation than in
the welfare of the boys.” And then the Clinical physiologist who after meeting
with Linda and two of the boys stated, “this is the worst case of parental alienation
I have ever seen in my 26 years of practice, over the top bad!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He is now 16 years old, the last report available on 5-12-13
shows him failing 4 of his 6 classes, 1-C and 1-D+. He also has 26 unexcused,
28 excused absentness and 36 tardys.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He became a father in May and was 15 years old when he and
his girl friend became pregnant. Now, the girl friend that was living with him
and his mother (Linda) has returned home to her parents house, I am told. Colton
says he is going to be a good Dad but his son is born out of wedlock. His son,
his baby does not live with him. His son has no family right now. His Son has
no one to support him. His father Colton cannot. Colton is not responsible enough
to get himself to school. He has no respect for the school or faculty and that attitude
comes from his mother and her lack of respect. She thinks that everyone owes
her something and has passed that on to Colton. Colton is not taking care of
his son, you are, the tax payer is, the government welfare and food stamp
program are taking care of them all. The mother that was in school, the 16 year
old father and now the baby, all are being taken care of by the tax payer as a
result of their underage sex. Not the best way to start out a life and future. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, it’s not over for sure. The actions of the court, the
lies that were told and the evidence that was ignored will forever hang on the
heads of Colton, his baby and the mother of Colton’s baby. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Swanharts ruling will continue to have negative consequences
for this family and for you, a tax payer who now is forced to support and pay
for the actions of irresponsible children and a mentally ill mother.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Colton, if you read this...let it be a wakeup call for you! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No matter what has happened in your life, no matter what anger
or resentment you hold… YOU have a CHOICE!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You don’t have to continue down this loser, gangbanger,
doper, and give a crap about anyone or anything road. Pull your pants up. Unless
your hero is some loser in prison that has an enlarged butt hole…pull your
pants up and stop acting like a loser! Colton, you are smart, you can fix your
school problems if you have the guts to do it! It’s easy for a loser to just smoke
a joint and forget about working towards a future. Are you a loser Colton? Do
your pants hang down like a punk that wants to advertise his ass for sale or
rent? Do you disrespect the teachers at school? Do you think school is a joke
and something you don’t need? If so, then you are a fool and I didn’t raise no
fool! I know you hate everything about me, you have made that clear on your FB.
FYI Colton, I did not try to get you kicked out of school, I’m trying to get
you kicked into school! I can’t do anything about your attendance or the fact
that your mother does not care about you or your future. Yes, I am pulling the
plug and telling it like it is, your mother is a loser but you don’t have to
be. You boys are old enough now to see the truth. Everyone else knows it
already Colton, everyone knows about your mother. You should still love her
because she is your mother but as a mother to you and your bothers, she was
worse than a loser, she was evil in how she lied, stole your kids childhood and manipulated the system.
You have been robbed of your childhood, you have been robbed of a fun and joy
filled school experience but you can still turn it around. It’s all up to you!
Can you cowboy up or are your pants down at your knees and your arms reaching
for your ankles? Fun and games are over Colton, you have now impacted other
lives. Your girl friend has had a baby at a very young age. What do you intend
to do? Will you marry her? If not, why? If you care enough about the young lady
to have a baby with her, perhaps you care enough to marry her and support them
both? You can graduate school and raise a family at the same time but you will
need to buckle down and get to work. Stop blaming others and start working
HARD!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next 12 months will tell the tell Colton, are you a dope
smoking loser, failing school, with a knocked up girl friend and nothing
positive to look forward to except paying child support. Yes Colton, the state
will be looking to you to provide support. Or will you use this as a turning
point? The point where Colton grows up and takes control of his life? You can
you know, no matter how you have been brainwashed, you can succeed. I know you
are strong, I know you are smart, I know you can pull your pants up and get to
work!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Question is, what does Colton believe and how tough is he? Will
you straighten up and get to work, or will you do as your mother does and blame
someone else because you fail school? Will you blame me because you have 26 unexcused
absences? How in the world can you expect to get passing grades and more
important, learn something, if you don’t attend school? 4 fs, 1 C and 1 D+….Colton,
that is disgraceful! You are not STUPIED! But your grades sure say something
else. If you can’t do your work in school, your employer will identify those
grades with laziness or stupidity. Why would they hire you? Would you hire you?
Lets see…Hi, I smoke dope, don’t care much for authority and didn’t care enough
to study for or attend my school classes…when do I start for you? Colton, you better grow up now!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your play days are over, you will work and support your
baby or the state will be after you for a long time for child support. Yes
CHILD SUPPORT! I pay over $400 a month in child support for you and what does
that money get? Perhaps you got some smoke or did it go up your mothers nose?
Where has all that money gone? You have a car,<sup>st</sup> 2 years after the divorce. She also
sold the house I bought her, bought a larger one with a swimming pool and
shortly afterwards, filled bankruptcy while she was working full time and I was
paying her over $2,000 a month in tax free child support, Cars, booze, sex,
drugs and nightlife are very expensive. FYI
Colton, your mother is not a good example of a responsible person so please don’t
take her financial advice to heart. While I’m at it, doesn’t it seem funny that
she never finished her school? Seems she didn’t need to learn anything either. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
perhaps that was not money well
spent but your mother loves cars. If I remember correctly, she bought and owned
11 cars and trucks in the 1<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Up to you Colton, Cowboy up, or bend over for your prison boyfriend,
choice is yours! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center">
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="margin-left: -2.25pt; mso-cellspacing: 0in; mso-padding-alt: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184; width: 96%px;">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
05/21/13<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
02:23 PM <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" title="View Actions Taken"><span style="float: left;">INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www2.scrdc.wa-k12.net/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=whighlas71/sfwdis01.w?TS=0" title="Classroom"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CLS</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="float: left;">HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHAD SEELY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="8" style="padding: 1.5pt 15.0pt 1.5pt 22.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Comments: </span></strong>Please
assign 1 lunch detention for failure to make up detentions he has not served
for me for swearing.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
05/13/13<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
08:50 AM <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" title="View Actions Taken"><span style="float: left;">Disruptive Behavior</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www2.scrdc.wa-k12.net/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=whighlas71/sfwdis01.w?TS=0" title="Classroom"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CLS</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="float: left;">HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHAD SEELY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="8" style="padding: 1.5pt 15.0pt 1.5pt 22.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Comments: </span></strong>I
informed Colten that he no longer gets to leave class as he wanders around
the school when he leaves. Colton started yelling and brought up what
happened last week. I told him he was being rude and disrespectful and that
that was the way it was, if he didn't like it, he could leave and complain.
He continued yelling and using inappropriate language, and then became
threatening, saying, "You better get out of my face!" At that
point, I yelled at him telling him that he doesn't run the school and that I
was tired of his crap and go to Seely's and not come back until we discuss
this and settle it.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
05/10/13<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
09:00 AM <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" title="View Actions Taken"><span style="float: left;">DISRESPECT</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www2.scrdc.wa-k12.net/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=whighlas71/sfwdis01.w?TS=0" title="Classroom"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CLS</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="float: left;">HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHAD SEELY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
1<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="8" style="padding: 1.5pt 15.0pt 1.5pt 22.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Comments: </span></strong>Colton
displayed disrespect, insubordination, disruptive behavior, and inappropriate
language and conduct when given an assignment. On May 9th Colton and several
other boys in 2nd period had behaved irresponsibly. As a consequence, today,
May 10th the students who made the poor choices yesterday received an
alternate assignment to complete at their desks instead of participating in
an active assignment with the rest of the class. Colton was the only student
to react inappropriately to this assignment. He cursed, and said he wasn't
goning to do the assignment. I told him he could do the assignment, or go to
Mr. Seely's office. Colton shouted at me using rude language, slammed his bag
and his hands around into a chair, desks etc. making a lot of noise and
disrupting the class. He shouted all the way to the open door, then stood on
the porch of the portable shouting into the room. In part he shouted, "I
don't need this sh--! I'm out of the room now! What you gonna do now, huh?!
You can't do nothing! What you gonna do?! I'm out! I'm out! What you gonna
do?! You can't do nothing!" I left the front of the room and started
towards the door and he retreated down the ramp, still shouting. I called Mr.
Seely to alert him to Colton's imminent arrival. I left a voicemail message
for him, then called Mrs. Schultz and got voicemail there too but did not
leave her a message. I called Mrs. Notman and asked her to send Colton to Mr.
Seely's office if she saw him wandering the halls. I doubted Colton would
actually go to Mr. Seely's office as I had directed him. As it turned out, he
didn't. Mr. Seely later entered my classroom and said he hadn't seen Colton.
I reported to him that the other students were working well on the
alternative assignment. Only Colton had reacted inappropriately. <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
03/22/13<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
12:40 PM <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" title="View Actions Taken"><span style="float: left;">Inappropriate Conduct</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www2.scrdc.wa-k12.net/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=whighlas71/sfwdis01.w?TS=0" title="Classroom"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CLS</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="float: left;">HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHAD SEELY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
1<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="8" style="padding: 1.5pt 15.0pt 1.5pt 22.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Comments: </span></strong>Disruptive,
argumentative, refusal to follow directions, believing he's above rules and
requirements. Sent to Mr. Seely for the remainder of the period.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
10/08/12<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
11:59 AM <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" title="View Actions Taken"><span style="float: left;">INSUBORDINATION</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www2.scrdc.wa-k12.net/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=whighlas71/sfwdis01.w?TS=0" title="CLSSRM, HALL, FIELDS"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">ALL</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="float: left;">HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHAD SEELY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
1<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="8" style="padding: 1.5pt 15.0pt 1.5pt 22.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Comments: </span></strong>Colton
came to class with his food and pop from Freds. Colton asked to be able to
eat his lunch. I told him to place it on the front desk and not touch it as
the 2nd bell had rung. While everyone was preparing to take notes Colton said
that he could have finished his lunch while everyone was getting ready. I
told him that the school rules state that food is not allowed and that I
could have thrown his food away instead of allowing him to set it aside til
he leaves the class. Colton said that it "would not be a good career
move" if I were to throw it away. Of course I then threw his food and
drink away. Colton picked up his backpack and left the room, picking up his
food and drink out of the trash can as he walked out the door<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
10/03/12<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
09:46 AM <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="" title="View Actions Taken"><span style="float: left;">Inappropriate Conduct</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www2.scrdc.wa-k12.net/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=whighlas71/sfwdis01.w?TS=0" title="Classroom"><span style="color: black; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">CLS</span></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="float: left;">HIGHLAND HIGH SCHOOL </span><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
No <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHAD SEELY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 7.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
1<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="8" style="padding: 1.5pt 15.0pt 1.5pt 22.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi;">Comments: </span></strong>Colton
lied to the my sub telling her it was OK for him to eat his lunch in the
classroom. I will take caare of his punishment.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr style="height: 3.75pt; mso-yfti-irow: 12;">
<td colspan="8" style="height: 3.75pt; padding: 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt 1.5pt;"></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="2" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;" valign="bottom">
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td nowrap="" style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 9.0pt;">Classes for: <b>Trimester
3 (03/09/13-06/13/13)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">Prev</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td colspan="3" nowrap="" style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">View
All Classes</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div align="right">
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable">
<tbody>
<tr>
<td style="padding: 0in 0in 0in 0in;">
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" style="text-align: right;">
Click on the underlined <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
grade to see<br />
the assignments that make up that grade.<o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"></td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="mso-cellspacing: 1.5pt; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184; width: 99%px;">
<tbody>
<tr id="SchHeader403">
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Period</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Class</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Description </b><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Term</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt 1.5pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Teacher </b><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td id="TERM05GP05COL12" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="5"><b><a href="">P5</a></b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</span></td>
<td id="TERM06GP06COL13" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"><b><a href="">P6</a></b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</span></td>
<td id="SEM03GP06COL14" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"><b><a href="">TR3</a></b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
0 <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">ADV11/BR3</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td jr="" nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
JR ADVISORY <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:brafferty@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">BRIAN RAFFERTY</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td id="COL12ROW03" style="background: #EAF1F9; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
</span></td>
<td id="COL13ROW03" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">
</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</span></td>
<td id="COL14ROW03" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">
</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</span></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
1 <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">ENG308/31</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
POETRY <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
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S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:t.ollie@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">TERYNE OLLIE</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="5"> <a href=""><b>F</b></a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<td id="COL14ROW06" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
2 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">TAHAZ/32</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;" teacher="">
<div class="MsoNormal">
TEACHER ASSISTANT <o:p></o:p></div>
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S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:phazen@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">PATRICK HAZEN</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td id="COL12ROW09" style="background: #EAF1F9; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<td id="COL14ROW09" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">MAT303/33</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td algebra="" nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
ALGEBRA 2C <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:gwagner@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">GREGORY WAGNER</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td id="COL12ROW12" style="background: #EAF1F9; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
4 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="">SCI303/34</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td chemistry="" nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
CHEMISTRY C <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:bjacobson@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">BRAD JACOBSON</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td id="COL12ROW15" style="background: #EAF1F9; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="5"> <a href=""><b>C</b></a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<td id="COL13ROW15" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">C</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<td id="COL14ROW15" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
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5 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="">AGR202/35</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td advanced="" nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
ADVANCED WOODS <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:phazen@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">PATRICK HAZEN</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td id="COL12ROW18" style="background: #EAF1F9; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="5"> <a href=""><b>F</b></a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
</span></td>
<td id="COL14ROW18" style="background: #F0F0C2; padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><span id="span403">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
6 <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
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<a href="">SST339/36</a> <o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
<td history="" nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;" us="">
<div class="MsoNormal">
US HISTORY C <o:p></o:p></div>
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S3 <o:p></o:p></div>
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<td nowrap="" style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:brafferty@highland.wednet.edu" style="float: left;">BRIAN RAFFERTY</a><o:p></o:p></div>
</td>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="5"> <a href=""><b>F</b></a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span class="6"> <a href="">F</a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M2lGj1mmmNU/UZ_yQ24qnvI/AAAAAAAAAQk/XvM4KQA0q_U/s1600/Gray+and+Nitro.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M2lGj1mmmNU/UZ_yQ24qnvI/AAAAAAAAAQk/XvM4KQA0q_U/s640/Gray+and+Nitro.JPG" width="512" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Come on Colton, get in the saddle and lets go for a ride! </span></b></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com47tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-33368373091399478392012-08-21T09:17:00.000-07:002012-08-21T09:17:33.889-07:00Stop with the Stalking<br />
Linda, it has been 10 years, stop with the stalking. You got want you wanted, you got the money and you turned the boys against me. Jan and I are divorced; it does you no good to e-mail her your little questions about dogs and stuff. 10 years is long enough, let it go. I do not know where you live and can’t even send a B day card to my son…what more do you want? Yes I saw you taking photos of Jan and I at Josh’s wedding, I can date, see and live with whoever I wish, get a life of your own and stop the stalking.<br />
There are stalking and harassment laws, the documentation is there…stop before you let your mental condition ruin the remainder of your life. Seek help.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-64972006377463335482012-05-23T12:48:00.000-07:002012-05-23T12:48:50.322-07:00Where have we gone? What did we allow to happen?<br />
HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2010<br />
Scenario 1:<br />
Jack goes duck hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.<br />
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.<br />
2010 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers. <br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 2:<br />
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.<br />
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.<br />
2010 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.<br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 3: <br />
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.<br />
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again. <br />
2010 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability. <br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 4:<br />
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt. <br />
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman. <br />
2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse, Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist. <br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 5:<br />
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.<br />
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.<br />
2010 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons. <br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 6:<br />
Pedro fails high school English.<br />
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.<br />
2010 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English. <br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 7:<br />
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed. <br />
1957 - Ants die.<br />
2010 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents - and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. <br />
<br />
<br />
Scenario 8:<br />
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. <br />
1957 � In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing. <br />
2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-37065495560847322102011-12-14T11:44:00.000-08:002011-12-14T11:45:31.016-08:00Merry Christmas to you and all our children<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><i><b>I am posting this e-mail for everyone, and for my own sons. I hope as to grow and mature, as you yourselves have families, please understand what is important in life. Live your life for God 1st. </b></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><i><b>The order of your love is very clear, love your God 1st, love, honor and protect your wife 2nd and then raise your children with love and discipline as God has instructed in the Bible. This is the ONLY (and very simple) road map you have to parenting and living a happy and fulfilling life.</b></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><i><b><br />
</b></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><i><b>Dad</b></i></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">From </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Jayne A. Major;</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Is it already Christmas time again? It seems like it was only a little while ago that we were ringing in the New Year. Now here we are again. It's always interesting to ask people what the holiday season means to them. Although the answers vary, one thing that is consistent is that our experiences in childhood are typically what determines how we answer that question. And it is typically <b>our parents who set the tone for the holidays and ultimately influenced the positive or negative feelings that carry forward into our own adulthood. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">We should all strive to make the holiday season a time of joy for our children. However, <b>we too often associate</b> a joyous Christmas or Hanukkah <b>with the bounty of gifts that one receives</b>. We see mobs of people in the shopping malls who will seemingly stop at nothing to get that last available popular doll or video game for their child. We condition our children to think that the expense and popularity of the gifts they receive represent a measure of their parent's love. <b>This is a trap that all parents must avoid by teaching their children the true meaning of Christmas: the joy of giving.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">I have gone into homes where it looked like the parents bought the whole inventory from Toys R Us. In fact, the children and their toys had taken over every room in the house. While merchants would be thrilled if parents would do this, I don't think that it is a good idea. Children have no restraint about asking for anything and everything that crosses their mind to want. It is easy to go overboard at Christmas and Hanukkah by spending too much money. Parents need to be the voice of reason and say "no" to unreasonable requests.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><b>The best gifts are not necessarily expensive, but something that is meaningful that will enhance the quality of the child's life.</b> In our family we posted a wish list. We wrote on the list everything that we wanted with the most important thing at the top. If the desired gift was an expensive item then two or more family members would go in together to share the expense. These lists took a lot of the guess work out of shopping for other family members. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">On the other hand, many families don't have money to pay for Christmas presents at all. I suggest that you have everyone write his or her name on a slip of paper and put it in a hat. Each person in the family draws another family member's name. It is their job to think of something that person would enjoy, such as a poem, a drawing, a heartfelt letter, or something delicious to eat. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><b>A wonderful gift simply doesn't have to be expensive.</b> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Wishing your and your families a joyous Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Sincerely, <o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="color: #323232; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Jayne A. Major, Ph.D.<br />
Major Family Services </span>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-45443646743382747562011-11-01T07:03:00.000-07:002011-11-01T07:03:37.726-07:00Comment and video from Dave<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background: #FFF3DB; color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Here is a video of my experience with spousal abuse and parental alienation. I was married to someone who I knew had a high-conflict personality, but I was completely blindsided by what happened during our divorce. I hope others will learn from my experience and will take measures to protect their children before it's too late. Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Warning, strong language.<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJDsruc-xxg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJDsruc-xxg</a><span style="background: #FFF3DB; color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hi Dave,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Thanks for adding your comment. I am very sorry for your loss and understand your pain in what you have and will continue to suffer through. To lose a child (that you love and kissed goodnight) or children is worse than death. It is worse because as your video points out, the children suffer for the rest of their lives and perhaps beyond that with their own family. Seeing the change in behavior (school grades, attendance, friends and attitude) is very hard to deal with (like seeing them in hell and not being able to save them). It is easy to blame yourself for the PA as you ask yourself what could or should I have done different to stop what happened. I have not found anything that would have prevented what happened in my case. Some people are programmed to deal with self image issues by attacking others as a way to elevate their position. This has always been a fact and always will be. Thus the speaking poorly of you in front of the children. If this was not her or their goal, they would never subject the children they love to such a argument. Any disagreement could and should be discussed in private. When it is done in front of children, it is for a duel purpose. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">To remarry, before or after your big (D) is a direct threat to your ex spouse. She does not want you but she doesn’t want anyone else to have you! (she does not want the children to see you wanted and loved by someone else either, because she has told the children how bad you are, so to see another woman in love with you, treating you with respect… would cast doubt on what she has been saying) You are also a low life un trusting abusing pig, until she needs you to take the kids for a weekend she has planed, then you are ok…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Search for (jealousy, the root of all evil)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">If you find a way to stop or reverse PAS, please let me know!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The only thing I can see changing is the court system and how they deal with high conflict situations. I think they need a full and personal investigation before placing children or setting parenting times. Just as in your case, the truth came out but much to late to help your family.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I hope your children will see the truth in time and although they may have lost their childhood, perhaps they can safe their own adulthood.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Good luck to you<o:p></o:p></div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-50088679670295727642011-10-10T06:02:00.000-07:002011-10-10T06:03:37.618-07:00Help in Yakima family court<div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;">I felt it very important, to not only post the comment below </span></i><a href="http://evilsofpa.blogspot.com/2010/10/lani-kai-swanhart-unfit-commissioner.html">Lani-Kai Swanhart, an unfit Commissioner</a><i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;"> but to add it to the blog pages. It seems there is help in Yakima and if you are in family court there, I would encourage you to contact the number below. You will need to do your investigation and use your best judgment when contacting the number below. I cannot recommend anyone that I personally don’t know. Still, I think it would be worth your time visit with the person below;<o:p></o:p></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;">I am a GAL in the Yakima court system but I also work with a parent who is representing him/herself to gain custody or increased visitation. I provide advocacy and case management. <br />
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I have and M.S.S.W. from Columbia University and years of experience working with children and families in the family court system.<br />
<br />
Since only 28% of the father's in Yakima County have 50 percent custody of their children, advocacy and case management are critical to increasing the father's involvement with the child. Counties on the western side of the state have upwards of 65% of the fathers who have 50% custody of their child. <br />
<br />
I am easily able to challenge court custody investigators or GALs who often lack the experience I hold. <br />
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Parental alienation is an extremely important issue and judges must be reminded how damaging it is for the kids. 509-312-9850 <br />
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</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-1349772684928477162011-08-26T09:33:00.000-07:002011-08-27T06:43:13.275-07:00Reply to Anonymous comment on Jealousy, the root of all Evil posted on March 29th 2010<div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Below is the comment;</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Have you bothered to read your own blog? Children have one mother, and I am sure this mother was doing just fine with her kids until this new lady shows up and wants to be mom all of a sudden. It is fine to come in and love your new spouses children and be a good role model for them, but it is never ok to come in and be their "mom" for they already have one. You mentioned in your blog numerous times what a great "mom" your new wife is to your boys. Their real and only mom is not replaceable because you dont like her. I have the same problem with my childs stepmother. I am a great and loving mom. I got along just fine with my ex and we were able to co-parent together until his new wife came along. She wants to be mom now and wants me out of the picture. It is very damaging to a child when a new person comes along and thinks they are a replacement for their own parent and they know best, etc. etc. Step parents often try to force themselves into the parenting role and try to force the real parent out to get rid of their competition they feel. VERY SAD!!!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 16pt;">Here is my response;</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Well anonymous, You sound like a very troubled woman indeed. It is very apparent from your comment that you, like my ex Linda, suffer from acute jealousy and most likely that stems from somewhere deep in your past. I expect that you have had to deal with low self esteem all your life. That is very unfortunate. It must be very difficult to go through life with a deep envy of others. Perhaps you have a sense of superiority over everyone else and this justifies your actions. In any case you have my sympathies, yet this does cannot condone your behavior. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Point being you have no idea about the mother, so why the support of the mother and attack on the step mother? (I am sure this mother was doing just fine with her kids until this new lady shows up and wants to be mom all of a sudden) From the day they were born she (the boys mother) could not handle the responsibility. She did not have to work and therefore had no job. Yet she chose to take a part time job and send the kids to day care because she said “I can’t stand it, they drive me crazy and I need a break from them”. The job only paid the day care fee so she was working for free just to get away from her own children. I understand that she is not alone, many mothers now days take this path. Later she would spend weekends with her friend to get away from me and the boys, leading to her abandoning her family and moving next door to her boyfriend while she was still married. On the week that she had the 4 boys, she would leave them alone and go out on the town with her boy friend. She repeatedly brought men home from the bars and gambling casinos to spend the night. All this on the week she had the boys. A decent mother would have at least stayed home with her sons during her week with them and limit her whoring around on the week the children where gone. You see, you know nothing of this woman. Would you condone such behavior???</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> I think that is why we see such a decline in our society. I firmly believe the most important responsibility a mother can have is to provide a good home environment and Christian instruction for the children. The children should be JOB ONE! Sadly many women put their own self ambitions in front of the kids welfare. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Why do make this statement: “it is never ok to come in and be their "mom" for they already have one”. You are very disturbed! The best thing any ex spouse could hope for is that a new step parent would be a loving caring person. If the children are only spending 1-2 days every couple of weeks with one of the parents then it would be difficult to have the same bond as say those who share time equally. In my case, my new wife was much more of a mother to my children than their own mother ever was. This fact was very plain for everyone see, even to my ex. This led to her jealousy, rage, attacks and in 2 of the 4 cases, successful alienation of the children from my new wife and myself!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You show a much to common mental condition when you make this statement: . “Their real and only mom is not replaceable because you dont like her.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The “real” mom was never replaced nor was she ever spoken poorly of. Both my wife and me supported the boy’s mother. We even have many letters sent to her asking that she move closer to the boys and school. That would allow her more time with them. She refused our request and said she would not move to little Tijuana, insinuating that there were to many Mexicans where we lived. It seems it was fine for the boys to go to school there but she was not going to live there. If you wish, I can post those letters. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">You seem to live in a very deranged world. Your statements about the new wife wanting to be the real mother, take control and “get rid of their competition” shows your paranoia. I don’t think it would matter at all who your ex remarried, you would fear any relationship she has with your kids. You seem to know in your heart your weakness as a parent and fear those will be exposed by any other woman. I think you are correct in that regard, any other woman may seem like a more loving and supporting mother to your children than you. You need to focus on being a good mother and stop obsessing about your exs new wife!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Your accusations about “Step parents often try to force themselves into the parenting role and try to force the real parent out” are certainly unfounded in my case and I see no documentation that your view is supported by professionals in the field. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">From your comments I can conclude that you are one of the mothers that would practice parental alienation as a way to stop your children from having a healthy relationship with their step mother and perhaps with the own father. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In my case, the mother was documented to have an extreme anger problem and indeed was, “the worse case or parental alienation I have seen” by a doctor in the this field that spent time with her in his office.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I feel very sorry for your children, your ex and his wife. You must be a horrible person to try and co parent with. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">For the sake of your children and that of your grandchildren, I hope you seek professional help.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-36830443248135942472011-07-22T07:01:00.000-07:002011-07-22T07:05:11.049-07:00What is Parental Alienation?<b></b>Parental alienation occurs any time that a parent, relative or friend speaks badly about another parent so that a child can hear what is being said. Alienating behavior may be mild, moderate or severe. All parents are likely to "lose it" and be inappropriate with their words around children. However, when there is a predominance of negative messages being communicated to a child, these messages can seriously erode the child’s psychological well-being. In severe cases of parental alienation, children are manipulated and brainwashed (programmed) into such states of confusion that <u>their perception of events and people around them are severely distorted.</u><br />
<div class="paragraph editable-text" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><u><br />
Parental alienation in its most severe form is a heinous form of child abuse</u> and neglect. It is a dangerous manipulation of children’s minds to alter their perception of reality about another parent. The purpose of marginalizing this parent is so that he or she has no means to be an effective parent or to entirely cut that parent out of their child’s life.</span> </div><h2 style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="color: #3333ff;"><br />
The Tragic Result</span></b></h2>Severe cases of parental alienation have the characteristics of being complicated in two ways. Combative parents duel with conflicting stories of "he said / she said" and make it very difficult to determine who is telling the truth. <span style="background-color: yellow;">Brainwashed children often support the side of the offending parent with dramatic stories of how they have been abused by the target parent.</span> As target parents argue their position, they often seem defensive even when they are telling the truth. Programmed children lose their own sense of reason and their ability to express their own choice in the matter. If the alienator is not contained, these manipulations of the child’s mind become the incubator of their own future psychological problems. <u>These children have an altered perception of reality that is not in their best interest or in the best interest of society.</u><br />
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<b>Unfortunately, in many cases, fully capable parents and their extended family and friends who love the child and would provide a nurturing and healthy family life are eliminated. Once the cutting out of a parent has occurred the child is left under the full care of the most disturbed and dysfunctional parent. These tragedies are played out in our family law courts daily.</b><br />
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Target parents find that normal methods of handling parental conflict such as mediation and therapy do not work. They are forced to appeal to a judge to make a decision that will enable them to continue to see their children. This is often an expensive and perilous path that rarely results in a satisfying outcome as few people, including judges, attorneys, and therapists, understand the nature of the problem.<br />
<h2 style="text-align: left;">Major Family Services</h2><div class="paragraph editable-text" style="display: block; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Major Family Services was founded by Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D. and offers classes, consulting, books and educational materials that address a broad range of unique parental training situations that can benefit all types of parents. For over 30 years, Dr. Major has been educating parents on the art of raising children and maintaining healthy family relationships. Dr. Major established Major Family Services, Inc. to expand the availability of her parental training classes and consulting services through a trained network of professional instructors certified in teaching her techniques. Dr. Major’s curriculum provides parents with advanced and proven child-rearing methods designed to encourage and promote psychologically sound ways to parent children. Major Family Services will continue to expand and offer classes in an ever-growing number of communities. </span><br />
</div><h2 style="text-align: left;">Jayne Major, Ph.D.<br />
President </h2><div class="paragraph editable-text" style="display: block; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> Jayne A. Major, Ph.D. is the founder of Major Family Services and the author of the acclaimed book </span><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Breakthrough Parenting: Moving Your Family from Struggle to Cooperation</span></i><span style="font-size: x-small;">. She is nationally recognized as an expert in family education, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, author and consultant on optimal family relationships. She holds a doctorate in Philosophy of Education from UCLA.</span></div><div><div class="wsite-splitpane-2" id="331674506123982024-parent" style="width: 100%;"><div class="column" id="331674506123982024-lhs" style="float: left; margin: 0; overflow: visible; padding: 0; width: 7.56101%;"><div class="columnlistp" style="padding-right: 5px;"> </div></div><div class="column" id="331674506123982024-rhs" style="float: left; left: 91.439%; margin: 0; overflow: visible; padding: 0; width: 91.439%;"><div class="columnlistp" style="padding-left: 5px;"><div class="paragraph editable-text" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> A Personal Message from Jayne:<br />
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<i>I became aware of how difficult it is to be a parent when my husband and I adopted two foster boys who were 7 and 9 at the time and had been severely abused and neglected. I rapidly ran out of everything that I knew to do. I had to face the fact that I needed to learn much more to be an effective parent. </i><br />
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<i>I started reading how to books for parents and quickly discovered that even the experts disagree. What was so simple was turning out to not be simple at all. I decided to use parent education as the focus of my doctoral dissertation at UCLA. My purpose was to write a curriculum for parents that would be a psychologically solid and skill based way of raising children according to the best of what we know today. </i><br />
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<i>My doctorate is in Philosophy of Education and what I philosophized about was psychology. When I graduated from UCLA I began speaking and teaching classes to many different groups of people. I also started writing books for parents. These books eventually became Breakthrough Parenting: Moving Your Family from Struggle to Cooperation.</i><br />
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<i>I believe that when people know better they do better. Parent education is my passion. There is no more important job than that of being a parent. I enjoy consulting, teaching classes, and speaking about how we can improve the way that children are raised by their parents. I frequently consult with parents about discipline situations that have developed in their families and have become knowledgeable about divorce and child custody disputes. I show parents how to improve their strategy on how to handle difficult problems in families.</i><br />
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<i>What I’ve found is that children want to get along with us and the main reason that we have struggles with children is due to the parent’s lack of skill and knowledge. Education is the key to successful parenting.</i></i></span><br />
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...Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-15265802279951783412011-05-24T09:10:00.000-07:002011-06-21T16:42:38.243-07:00Last blog post by Just a Dad<div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I wish you thank all my friends and family that have supported my writing of this blog. Many days it has been more than painful to relive the night mare of what happened to my sons and to their childhood. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;">Linda Clark,</span><span style="color: #984806;"> Pain, unbelief, and total disgust is what I have felt for my Ex </span><u><span style="color: black;">Linda Clark</span></u><span style="color: #984806;">. In her hate for me she has robbed the children of their heritage and extended families. She is responsible for the damaged relationships with grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins. My sons children will suffer because of this loss of family. All because of her jealousy over my remarriage and her evil obsession for money. Her actions in all of this is nothing but appalling and yet I forgive her. I will not try to understand nor condone her behavior, it was and is, simple <u>evil </u>in all definitions of the word. Yet I have only a limited understanding of her mental condition and have to accept that, as does everyone. This condition, this issue, has been with her for a very long time and she will not change and perhaps cannot change without years of treatment and medication (she referred to them as her "happy pills"). I do not envision her getting such treatment until ordered by the court. So I can only pray for healing of everyone who has a mental health issue, or health issue of any sort.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;">Lani-Kai Swanhart</span><span style="color: #984806;">, I have done all I can to correct your wrongs. You made a very poor and damaging ruling, that is an undeniable fact. It is documented, it is now part of your history. No one knows your heart at the time or why you would do such a thing. Why you would cover up your mistake and not even let experts present their statements in your court room, that was and is, diabolical. You are a dismal failure in your duties in the family court system in Yakima WA. We all can only hope that through my letters and official complaints to the local, state and federal levels, that you have looked inward and made the necessary changes to prevent such an outlandish and damaging ruling (as the one you made in my case) from happening again. You were empowered with getting the truth and and making a fair and just ruling, you failed. Something in your past made you angry and resentful of my presence in your court (cowboy hat and beautiful wife). You made a ruling that changed and severely/adversely effected the future of my sons. Your rulings and attitude has changed my family history forever and it can never be made whole again. Yet, I must forgive you. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: black;">Blain Connaughton</span><span style="color: #984806;">, As a person you disgust me. As an attorney you appall me. You made up a lie in court to change the direction of a simple matter of child support modification. You used your experience as a trail lawyer to damage a family for your own profit. You sir are a court whore! Your efforts to keep the children from seeing a Dr in an attempt to reconcile their relationship with me as a father was Evil. I trust you know that one day you will have to stand for judgment for your conduct and actions. On that day, you will have an honest representative and Judge. As evil as your actions were, I forgive you and the commissioner (this is my faith and thus my duty) as well as the one person that was responsible for the whole court issue, your client, </span><span style="color: black;">Linda Clark</span><span style="color: #984806;">.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">To my younger sons, Dakota and Colton who view this blog; I hope and pray that you will never know my pain. I hope and pray that you will never suffer such total devastation and pain as I have experienced over this whole issue. I have emotionally suffered the death of you my sons, my loved ones, over and over and over. I hope and pray you will never ever, understand this pain. You know your roles in this, you know the parts you played. You know the truth of the Parental Alienation that took place in your mother’s home. You know the lies your mother has told about me. You know and have seen the e-mails that I had to show you to correct the lies your mother was telling you. You heard the tape I had to play for you to prove that your mother was lying about why she signed her custody rights away, freely, under no threat and with her own admission that is was the best thing to do. You know how you both asked for that change. You both know I did not agree to your request until you both spoke to Marcia S. It was not until her report from you boys about what went on in your mother’s house; how she had no control over anyone in there. How you feared being in her house, how men were coming in and out all the time, how your mother would leave the house at night after she thought you boys were asleep to go to the bar. How Colton had asked her many times to stay home. How you both missed practices because she would not take you. Only after the cost/expense of many hours of investigating those allegations and proving them true… did I asked your mother for the meeting to propose a change. You also know and have seen the e-mails where I asked your mother to move back into the school district. You have seen the e-mails where I asked her time and time again to help you boys by modifying her life style while it was her week of custody. You have seen those and the ones where your mother was attacking me, threatening me and Jan. You saw those because she said I was doing this to her. I was not and had to prove it to you! (I still have the e-mails and many recordings, you are welcome to see them or hear them anytime) You saw her lies in her own words! Yet, you turned your backs on me. You believed her, you were drawn into her twisted world and made up stories about me that were untruthful and very mean. You did the same to a loving step mother. She read poems, books and the children bible to you. She held you when you cried and listened to you when you needed a friend. She took you hunting when I could not. She took you to practice when I could not. She helped you with home work. She bought programs to help with classes. She found and bought you great and safe horses for your enjoyment. She bought you snow machines for winter fun. She encouraged us all to take vacations, horseback rides, fishing and family trips. She got us all skiing together again, because she knew how important all these things are and she made it happen for us. She took you to California, the zoo, the beaches, movies and dinner. She taught us all about cooking and improved our manners. She was nothing less than an outstanding mother to all you boys! She never did those things to make your mother jealous, angry or to belittle her, she did them out of love for you and me! She was a mother! </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">You repaid her with what?</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">To my older sons, </span><span style="color: #1f497d;">Josh</span><span style="color: #984806;">, your love and support of everyone has been outstanding and honorable. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Kaleb</span><span style="color: #984806;"> have supported me at times but also attacked me over this blog when a post made your </span>mother<span style="color: #984806;"> mad. I have to wonder, did you stand up and correct your mother in the same way when you knew I was angry? How did you feel and did you defend me when your girl friend at the time and your mother got together and drafted a court statement full of damaging lies. Lies that have hurt you, your brothers, your father and your step mother. Lies that will live with us all for the rest of our days. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I have always loved each and everyone one of my sons.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I have loved and fought for the two youngest, more that most people can understand.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I did all I could to be a father to them, even when it hurt deeply.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I have even suffered the pain of pulling back and letting them live their lives as they see fit, in an attempt to stop the daily conflict they were experiencing.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I have, and am, suffering heart breaking anguish as I see Colton falling into a moral hell hole.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I have suffered with my health and through other relationships pains in my attempt to protect my sons futures.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I tried hard as I could to get the truth out and correct all the wrongs… it seems I worked in vain as correction can only happen with open minds. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I also have been very blessed;</span><span style="color: #632423;"></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I have been blessed with the unwavering support of friends and family.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I was blessed and amazed to have 3 different attorneys approach me in the Yakima county court hallways and offer their unsolicited advice and sympathy at a time when I was representing myself at multiple hearings. I was blessed with the understanding and support of the Doctor and court investigator, who interviewed my children and ex wife </span><span style="color: black;">Linda Clark</span><span style="color: #632423;">. </span><span style="color: #984806;">I have been blessed with the support of the children’s ex step mother. She was publicly silent when attacked by </span>Linda Clark <span style="color: #984806;">and in the home with the boys. She only spoke kind words to the children about their mother and addressed the children’s questions with compassion. I am blessed that she has now come forward with documentation that supports me as a father and directly and boldly addressed the lies </span>Linda Clark<span style="color: #984806;"> has told my sons. I am blessed to have people willing to suffer attacks on my behalf, while trying to correct lies about me in an attempt to correct my families relationships. I am blessed that this ordeal has put me on my knees and created a new and everlasting relationship with Christ. I was blessed to be re baptized last year (by my everlasting friend, pastor and brother, Ken Larson) by full water submersion into the river waters and excepted into the church of God 7<sup>th</sup> day. This is how I am able to forgive those who have sinned against me. Their sins, helped save me. I pray I am able to return this blessing.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">The Bible, if we all would just follow the words, the truth and the teachings in the Bible, there would be no family problems! Family problems only happen when Evil is allowed in. There are many words of direction, correction and encouragement. The bible is the manual and the church is its spokesman on earth today. There are also words which address courts, lies, evil and how to deal with such.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Zechariah 8:16-17 These are things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgments in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this declares the Lord.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">(this very simple advise would have saved and kept whole, my sons childhood)</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Proverbs 6 :16-19 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissention among brothers.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">(no mixing of words, no wiggle room, no compromise, just straight talk)</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Proverbs 10:23 A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">(just simple advise)</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Proverbs 9:8 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">(I found this very true, in a very personal way)</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone Evil for Evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">(my moral up bringing is why 17 statements to the court did not attack the conduct of </span>Linda Clark<span style="color: #984806;">, (even when I had such documentation) they only spoke of support for me as a father… and my sense of right and wrong is why I have never made false allegations) (Sad to say, the commissioner found this odd,,,, the one that throws the most dirt, wins in court).</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” says the Lord.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">I pray that anyone who views this blog will turn to a good study Bible for support and guidance.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">This blog will remain on the internet until the internet no longer exists. For those who view the blog I hope and pray that it helps you, your situation, your children and your family is some way. I have heard it said, “one man’s pain is another man’s gain”.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">There is a huge amount of information about the issue of Parental Alienation and mental illness. Search the past blogs for help with your questions. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Boys, love you all, always will!</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">The truth is the same, it is there, always will be!</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="color: #984806;">Just a Dad</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://walkthetalk.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=8f89bce0be7e1813d8ad34042&id=399f20f729&e=3d4a744a50"><span style="color: #336699; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt; text-decoration: none;">The key to release, rest, and inner freedom is not the elimination of all external difficulties. It is letting go of our pattern of reactions to those difficulties. </span></a></div><b><span style="color: #336699; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">~Hugh Prather </span></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wZv3eBXafnM/TdvEEomVceI/AAAAAAAAAPw/mf2R6AKJiuA/s1600/Family+frnt+horse+pen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wZv3eBXafnM/TdvEEomVceI/AAAAAAAAAPw/mf2R6AKJiuA/s400/Family+frnt+horse+pen.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We were all very happy and the boys would have finished growing up in a stable loving home. Completing their trip to man hood as responsible young men with <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>good work ethics and respect for all.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8p_ea1jqZfo/TgEqT4VGAFI/AAAAAAAAAP0/-jLvIyPMP68/s1600/graduation+257.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8p_ea1jqZfo/TgEqT4VGAFI/AAAAAAAAAP0/-jLvIyPMP68/s320/graduation+257.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Dakotas Graduation 2011</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">...</div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-5289778546700119432011-05-21T20:37:00.000-07:002011-05-22T07:27:49.771-07:00Very Personal Reply!<div class="MsoNormal">(note) views in this blog are of a very personal nature, but because my sons are now at a cross roads in their lives, I must make one more attempt to get past the bombardment of lies and get a truthful understanding. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Well, after many months of relatively no contact by my ex wife Linda, that has changed. She is back again because of a meeting I had with my son Dakota. Mentally, as pointed out in the last blog, she feels threatened by the loss of any control or influence over the boys. She has been consumed with the blogs about this case as are the boys now. Sadly enough, she has poisoned the boys minds and especially the youngest. The callousness and total disrespect for me and his step mother is a learned by product of Parental Alienation (still, he is old enough to take responsibility for his own life). Linda continues to practice, repeat and hold steadfast to lies that have apparently taken hold in the children’s minds. This is and was her goal. To that end, she has won…but the boys have lost. Linda, you are Evil for what you have done. Your history of prescriptions for your condition is documented, yet that is not a reason for what you have done. Hereditary symptoms are something that were acknowledged years ago so why to do resist treatment? Why did you fight so hard to keep the boys from continuing to see a professional? Even in the short time you visited with Dr Newell, he pegged your illness. You cannot deny his written statement to the court. No lie or anything else can argue with this. The internet is full of examples of women like you. Although as the Doctor stated you maybe, “over the top bad”. It is a huge problem for society so I guess you can take comfort in the fact that you are not alone, there are many disturbed women out there just like you, you are not special. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">As promised, I will provide my thoughts to the recent e-mails and comments below.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In the past 24 hours there have been many obscene comments left by the self proclaimed gang banger. I refuse to be drawn down to his/her level with a reply. Such a person is lost and will be found only when his/her heart changes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Someone has posted as Donna on a blog that Jan posts. I have seen this before, if it is not directly Linda then it is Linda words. I paste the whole comment here and reply in it in <span style="color: #1f497d;">Blue.</span> I will point out how she sets up the letter, and the lies in it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;">I have known Linda and her boys for several years now <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">It starts with setting a time line</span></b> and I can honestly <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">now has to state she is telling the truth</span></b> say that she has her boys' best interest at heart <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Shows how she only cares for the boys, not herself</span></b>. She has struggled at times <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">making herself the victim</span></b> because she hadn't received any child support for the boys from their father <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">A convenient lie to help support her claim as the innocent victim of a rotten ex husband, any fool can see the court child support documents. $1,852 per month is what Linda was paid</span></b>. I don't know Bruce personally and cannot judge him<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">, then how could she have know Linda and the boys for several years? </span></b>however I do see the hurt and anger that his boys now have. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Really,,,both boys are running around showing the hurt and anger, how can she expect anyone to believe this letter?</span></b> They are all great kids and he should be very proud of them and what they've accomplished<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">. Yep, she knows them well. Colton just barely passed this last trimester and his GPA has dropped over a full point since he moved in with his mother. His attendance (over 30 missed days this year) is public record (as it will stay with him long after school and effect his job opportunities)<br />
</span></b><br />
Linda has wanted to provide the best home for her boys and has had to move a couple of times. So what? <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Man, write a letter as a make believe person to excuse your actions (bankruptcy, moving 7 times, gambling and drinking, so many cars I lost count) …amazing.</span></b> I've done the same thing in my past, that doesn't make me a bad mother or person. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Ok, so now she feels better about herself because her make believe friend has done the same thing…is there any questions now?</span></b> She has always been there for me when I needed a friend. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Yes Linda, you are a great person in your mind, we understand that</span></b> I have never seen this angry crazy bi-polar side of her that you speak of, but again why do you care so much? <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Anyone that has read anything to do with this case of parental alienation knows that mental illness is a key component of this behavior</span></b>. <br />
<br />
All that matters is the relationship between the boys and their father, you are not their family and have no rights in this relationship. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Hmmm, yes ma’am, so you don’t know me but can comment on what role the boys step mother should have, and per you, without knowing Jan, or much at all about the boys, find that she (Jan the ex step mother) has no right of any kind. Who did you ask for this approval? And why do you think you could speak for me??? </span></b>has Step back and let them alone. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Linda, even in the 3<sup>rd</sup> person cannot help but make demands. It is her way to control the situation</span></b> Someday Bruce will regret not being able to be with his boys when they were young adults. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">What a foolish person this is, doesn’t know me and can’t read blogs? I fought for years to save their childhood!</span></b> This is time you can replace; if you are truly ill then you should be even more willing to resolve your differences and move on<b><span style="color: #1f497d;"> Hmmm, goes from commenting on Jans blog and speaking to and about Jan, to addressing me directly, how can anyone make that jump in a conversation?</span></b> - at least until the end of your life<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">. Ha ha, then has to point out that my life, percentage wise, will be short. Thanks for the concern</span></b> Give these boys a memory they will have with them long after you are gone. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Well, there it is, the complete circle. We now are back to where it all started, money! Dakota, not long ago sent me a request for money saying, that would be very “memorable”. Dang, I hate that those words and his request are such a close match in such a short time. I wish I had be wrong. Perhaps the boys will look at the photos posted here and the albums Jan and I gave them as a Christmas present. Those are great times and lasting memories that I want the boys to have. Not something like Dad bought me a car (my child support has done that many times over for Dakota already) for graduation or my 18<sup>th</sup> B day. But, my views are much different from Linda’s and now, I guess the younger boys also. Nice try Linda, I will reply to your letter below and then be done, this seems to be a lost cause.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Below you will see Linda on her best behavior in an attempt to disprove anything negative that anyone has ever said about her. It may work it you didn’t know her, if you didn’t have a huge suitcase full of old e-mails from her. Go through the old blogs and you will see comments from some of those e-mails and yes, they are a matter of public record.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Jan I will answer your question?? for the last time.... <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">ha ha, like all linda does is try to get along with Jan and correct the bad things she says. Sorry, I can’t help but laugh because here we go…into la la land!</span></b> <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">(</span></b><b><span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 9pt;">really, it’s how I have learned to deal with a very sick situation)</span></b><br />
At the last child support hearing Bruce under oath told the judge that he gave you everything in your divorce <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">No, that is not correct but close, I didn’t have much to give </span></b>in (YAKIMA COUNTY) WHICH THERE IS NO RECORD OF <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">oh Linda stop, that’s is just plain stupid</span></b>...the judge stated that he must be divorced in Yakima County and he said yes he was....LIe Lie Lie.. <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Linda you are sick. How anyone, even yourself can believe otherwise, Crazy? The whole world acknowledges this. Everyone but you? </span></b><br />
and <br />
you know that as well as he does that divorce does not exist <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Whew, what can you say? How do you argue with this? This is public record and yet she will openly deny it in a letter. No one needs any further proof of what I say because Linda has made my point for me and has shown what I have tried to fight for years. I think the boys believe her about this also. If they can believe a lie that is so simple to expose, is there any wonder they believe other outrageous things she has said? How would a father stand a chance against such influence? </span></b>.....So HE the JUDGE put this in the final order because he found it very interesting <span style="color: blue;">OK, have to stop there or we would get lost.</span> <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">NO. he put that in the order because you protested about it so, and he wanted to appease you and move on. I had no problem with it in the order and neither did my attorney, there was no objections of adding a matter of fact in the order</span></b>. that all of a sudden Bruce gave you the orchard, truck trailer Porsche which you bought for him and sat there and said I don't own anything and have no income.. and gave it all away so thre is nothing for his sons <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">No Linda, the record is public and the judge never had any such question. Those came from you when you presented your case. You add them here and no doubt speak about this like it is a matter of fact. If someone was not there or did not have the audio record, they may believe your lies, why would they not? What sane person would lie about such a thing? Then you ad this stuff about nothing for the boys? As the court investigator said in her report after interviewing you, you are more interested in money than in the boys welfare</span></b>....Keep<br />
posting all your pictures as the two of you are together and prob sitll married<b><span style="color: #1f497d;"> Now, in just a very few sentences you went from saying there was no divorce to saying, maybe??? If you don’t know, why say anything at all? it is interesting that you continue to go to Jans websites. The last time you did that from a Government computer and presented a bunch of printed pages from it, you were fired from your job </span></b>which I don't care but quit the lying and harassing of these boys<b><span style="color: #1f497d;"> If Jan has lied about something then list them linda. Number all those lies you speak about, shut her up, defend yourself and document the truth! Show the proof of your allegations! Now you stoop so low as to accuse Jan of harassment? Just come out and say it Linda, you hate Jan, always have, end of story!</span></b>...They are great young men and their dad has missed out because of YOU <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Yep, there it is sure enough, Jan the step mother is the problem. The PA was going on long before Jan but indeed, marrying a smart and attractive LADY, sure brought out the jealousy and anger in Linda. Linda moved out and left the boys because she wanted a new man but she sure didn’t want anyone to have her old one</span></b>. He chose YOU over his own sons and now is guilty for doing so Guilty of what? <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">You made the orchard go away like you threatened and you broke up the marriage with your PA, you should be happy, why should I be guilty of anything other than being naive about the effect of Parental Alienation at the time. </span></b>....You yourself made terrible accusations against Dakota <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">NO LINDA, NO ALIGATIONS, the TRUTH and that is DOCUMENTED with the interview in the commissioner chambers. You are sick to deny this, evil in your attempt to lie about the truth and doing a great disservice to Dakota</span></b> and put cameras in your house.. You are a sick women <br />
and point that finger at yourself <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Wow, incredible and disgusting</span></b> <br />
and look in the mirror...Hmmm how many times have you been married??? your a black widow spider that takes what she can and moves on to the next victim <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Man, you go Linda, hissssssssssss</span></b>..The stress that Bruce talks about is from you and your games <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Hmmm, I never said that, hmmm, not at all. Yet Linda has no problem putting words in my mouth</span></b>... Leave us all alone and get a life besides posting all this on the internet <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Did you see the last Blog I posted from a different site? It also talks about how the crazy ex will speak about the children and her being one and the same with them. Linda sure backs that one up here</span></b>.........<br />
The judge knew Bruce was lying <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">O-my word, so now the judge knows I was lying but did nothing about it, how unbelievable and crazy is this???</span></b>so that was put in the final order which gave me the opportunity to open the case back up if I wanted too...<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">If linda really believed what she says, she would have done so in a heartbeat! It is easy to trot on down to the court house and see if someone is married. But no, Linda has no documentation of any of the accusations she makes, it’s just her words, she likes them, they sound good to her, and she repeats them out loud like they are the truth. Mind you, she does so without guilt or remorse, in her mind, she believes her own words. </span></b> Leave us all alone and move on with your LIFE.. .....<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Again, mother and children are still attached<br />
</span></b>Bruce is the one who had the attorney and I did not so quit blaming all this on me...<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">What is this all about and where did that come from?</span></b> I didn't write the order the judge did <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">So, he wrote it as you asked, You wanted the opportunity to go after Jans income for child support if you could. He granted that to you. Jan just pointed out that YOU where wanting to get child support money from Jan</span></b> ....STOP THE HARRASSMENT <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">man, again with the word you love to use when the truth is presented. Truth = Harassment in Linda’s mind</span></b>.... Do yourselves a favor and stop <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">What favor would it be to cover up the truth? So the boys could not hear the truth and investigate for themselves? All the boys need is to ask themselves questions. If they wish for the truth then it is easy to see. If they don’t, then that is again their choice, but at least they will have a choice. </span></b>...as the good christians you say you are your actions are a DISCRACE to those who really are..<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Interesting attack, but not something that I need to judge. The boys and anyone else can form an opinion about this pretty quickly</span></b> REMEMBER 2012 IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER...If you had nothing to hide this wouldn't bother you so terribly bad <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Well, that is twisted! Where did it come from? Did I miss something in Jans blog about her being upset about the end of the world? Maybe it was me??? Well, I am concerned about the state of the world but not at the second coming of Christ. I know that will happen and it will be a day to rejoice in! hmmm, no one will be able to hide anything then, no body, not for any reason</span></b> ...Deducate your lives to good things and not bad <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Attempting to save or repair a relationship with my sons by providing the truth is a good thing. An effort to educate others about the EVILS of Parental Alienation is a good thing. Trying to make changes in the family court system and hold officials and lawyers responsible for their wrong actions is a good thing. Trying to expose the abuse of children by this system and make correcting changes, is a good thing. Many people are fighting this same fight for the same reasons I am. I thank Jan for caring enough about the boys to put aside the attacks from you, the make believe friends and the little gang banger and continue to make FACTUAL posts</span></b>.... All these blogs only put a wedge between those boys and their father further and further <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">If the truth does that then so be it. If they are afraid of you and afraid of the truth, then nothing will change. If they are so intertwined and dependent on you at this time, then a truthful conversation is impossible. If they can’t handle the truth now, then I will wait until they grow up. I will always be here and I will always be inside them, I will always be their Dad, you can’t take that away, I have the photos and lasting memories </span></b> and that's exactly what you want...Bruce will bash Colton for his grades <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Bash Colton??? Gosh…unbelievable, now Colton’s poor grades and lousy attendance in school is somehow, something I want to use against Colton? Does anyone not hear those words in her house? Over and over and over…Every day? Can anyone deny the Doctors charges of Parental Alienation? </span></b> .. He has struggled because of abandonment from his father... Yes that's right abandonment...<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Now it is my fault, should have known that! I will not take the time here, because I could go on for hours. Really, I think I have, read the archived blogs, it is all there. I don’t think I need to tell anyone what I think of Lindas charges, just read the blogs. Well, then, really, after you finish this letter you will have the idea</span></b> It has been since Aug of 2009 almost 2 years since he chose not to see Colton anymore <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Over and over, she will tell him this over and over, every day, day after day, That is why I call Linda sick, twisted and evil, That is why the BLOG, EVILS OF PA</span></b>....and Bruce finally met with Dakota who is 18 now and hadn't seen him in almost a year and a half...so don't blame me..<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Nope, we all understand now, linda is never to blame, linda is good, daddy is bad, got it</span></b>. you two are the aleinators and have caused your own issues...<b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Yep, there it is, the truth is out of the bag now! Jan or me or Jan and me have alienated the boys from???Linda or ourselves??? Is that Parental Alienation, if you turn your children against yourself? Hmmm, that would be dumb. Then, wholly cow, to make it worse, you spend money on court investigations, attorneys, Doctors ect, grind your teeth to nubs and stress out to the point of losing your health….just to make sure the kids really don’t like you…hmmm, all makes sense now</span></b> I bet you don't post this one as it contains the truth... and you know it <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Yes linda, your facts and documentations are just overwhelming!</span></b> .......so Misssy move on <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">There you go Jan, just move on, Linda has spoken!</span></b>...... I will not waste my time responding to anymore of your garbage <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">GREAT NEWS! I am so glad that linda will not be wasting time on yours or my blog anymore. I bet that means she will stop the boys, Donna and the gang banger also huh..</span></b> I have a great life and have better things to do then post nasty things about people... <b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Nasty things? The thing that is nasty is what Linda Kay Clark did to the family, childhood, religious upbringing, relationships and future of my Sons! Nasty and Evil.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt;"><b><span style="color: #1f497d;">Boys, you do what you wish. Look at the truth, and live your life with your heads up high. Work hard, play hard and enjoy life. If you wish a relationship, the door is open, the phone number is the same and the e-mail has not changed, yet. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12pt;"><b><span style="color: #1f497d;">... </span></b></div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-48405378475044474562011-05-20T21:34:00.000-07:002011-05-20T21:34:18.495-07:00Shrink for Men, repost<h1> <i><span style="font-size: small;">I have visited the website below and found its information amazing! These Doctors have really cut to the core and exposed PA in and very straight forward way. I will highlight the parts that hit home for me about my ex. If you have remarried, pay real close attention to what I highlighted in red. I wish education and training like this was mandatory in order to get a divorce! Perhaps it would save a new marriage and surly benefit children's futures!</span></i></h1><h1><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Just to many crazy (Evil) ex wives out there, and then you have the lawyers and judges (court system as a whole) who profit from them at the expense of the children...</i></span></h1><h1>Does your Wife or Ex-Wife Have a Golden Uterus Complex? 15 Characteristics of the Golden Uterus</h1><div class="byline"> <span class="bylinemeta">Written by <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/author/admin/" title="Posts by Dr Tara J. Palmatier">Dr Tara J. Palmatier</a> on May 17, 2011 - <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/05/17/does-your-wife-or-ex-wife-have-a-golden-uterus-complex-15-characteristics-of-the-golden-uterus/#comments" rel="nofollow">25 Comments</a><br />
Categories: <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Abuse">Abuse</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/accountability/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Accountability">Accountability</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/blame/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Blame">Blame</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/divorce/custody/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Custody">Custody</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/divorce/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Divorce">Divorce</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/financial-abuse/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Financial Abuse">Financial Abuse</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/divorce/high-conflict/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in High-Conflict">High-Conflict</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/parental-alienation/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Parental Alienation">Parental Alienation</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/personality-disorders/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Personality Disorders">Personality Disorders</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/professional-victims/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Professional Victims">Professional Victims</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/abuse/psychological-abuse/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Psychological Abuse">Psychological Abuse</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/relationships-2/relationship-advice-relationships-2/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Relationship Advice">Relationship Advice</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/relationships-2/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Relationships">Relationships</a>, <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/category/relationships-2/unhealthy-relationships/" rel="category tag" title="View all posts in Unhealthy Relationships">Unhealthy Relationships</a> </span><br />
</div><img alt="" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2961" height="379" src="http://www.shrink4men.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/mother-on-pedestal.jpeg" title="mother on pedestal" width="281" />Are you frustrated with your wife or ex-wife’s attitude of “I AM THE MOTHER; YOU ARE IRRELEVANT” when it comes to raising your shared children? Does she have an over-inflated sense of self because she’s a mother? Does she believe the mere act of giving birth entitles her to special privileges and gives her absolute, unilateral power over you and the children? If so, your wife/ex-wife/mother of your children may be a <strong>golden uterus </strong>(GU) and suffer from <strong>golden uterus complex</strong> (GUC).<br />
Golden uterus may seem like a snide term. It is. In some ways, the term is a backlash against a certain kind of woman/mother <span style="background-color: yellow;">who believes she is the end-all-be-all </span>just because she procreated, or rather, just because she procreated with you before anyone else had children with you.<br />
You see, GUs only revere their own uteruses and motherhood. They’re dismissive of other mothers and their children; especially if they’re second or third wives. <span style="background-color: yellow;">They take pride in the fact that they were the </span><em style="background-color: yellow;">first</em><span style="background-color: yellow;"> wives; while ignoring the reality that they were such bad wives that their husbands divorced them.</span><br />
Golden uteruses, despite the sense of superiority and entitlement they derive from the title “mother,” are <span style="background-color: yellow;">typically lousy parents if not downright abusive parents.</span> <strong>GUs are often the high-conflict, abusive personality-disordered parental alienators</strong>. They are the women who expect others, including their own children, to sacrifice everything at the altars they erect to themselves. Golden uteruses lay golden eggs (children) and milk their motherhood, the children and you for all you’re worth.<br />
<strong>Here are some characteristics of the <a href="http://goldenuterus.wordpress.com/2008/03/15/mother-vs-golden-uterus/" target="_blank">golden uterus mom</a>:</strong><br />
<strong> 1. GU and child are one and the same.</strong> The golden uterus child isn’t allowed to have his or her own feelings and opinions. <span style="color: red;">If mommy is sad, then child must be sad. If mommy is mad, then child must be mad. If mommy hates daddy and his new wife; then child must hate daddy and his new wife. If mommy has been “wronged;” then child has been wronged.</span><br />
The golden uterus believes that her best interests and the child’s best interests are synonymous. There is no “you” and “I.” The golden uterus and child are “we.” It’s a crippling symbiosis for the child in that the<span style="color: red;"> golden uterus feeds off of her own child to feel important, powerful and special.</span><br />
<strong>2. GU and child are a two-fer.</strong> If you want to have your child in your life after you separate or divorce, the GU believes she’s a part of some twisted package deal. A golden uterus doesn’t understand (or refuses to acknowledge) that you can love and have an independent relationship with the children without her in the middle of it. <span style="color: red;">GUs will try to impose themselves into your individual relationships with the children and any new romantic relationships. However, if GU dates and remarries, it’s none of your damn business.</span><br />
The GU is allowed to move on with her life. You’re expected to remain on ice, poised to mobilize whenever she demands something. <span style="color: red;">When the </span><span style="color: red; text-decoration: line-through;">GU</span><span style="color: red;"> child wants or needs something, you’re expected to drop everything to do the </span><span style="color: red; text-decoration: line-through;">GU’s</span><span style="color: red;"> child’s bidding.</span><br />
<strong><img alt="" class="alignright" height="300" src="http://www.shrink4men.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/bad-mom-201x300.jpg" title="bad mom" width="201" />3. Disobedience is abuse to the golden uterus.</strong> If the children, father/husband/ex-husband doesn’t heed her demands, the GU perceives it as abuse. If you don’t parent the same way the GU parents (or mis-parents); you’re a bad parent. If you challenge the GU’s decisions, s<span style="color: red;">he’ll punish you by denying you access to the kids or taking you to court.</span> “A GU believes that because she gave birth, she has exclusive rights to all decision-making related to said child, no matter what anyone else (including the courts or the father) say” (<em><em>anonymous source</em></em>).<br />
This applies to the children, too. If they disobey mom or have the temerity to have their own feelings and opinions (<em>you know, what childhood experts call healthy childhood development</em>) that differ from the GU’s feelings and opinions, it’s an act of high treason. There are consequences for this. <span style="color: red;">The children of GUs learn very early in life what side their bread is buttered. This is what makes PAS possible.</span><br />
<strong>4. GU exceptionalism.</strong> Even though humans have been procreating since human history began, <strong>the GU believes her pregnancy and childbirth are the most special pregnancy and childbirth <em>ever</em></strong>. Most women will tell you that their pregnancy and the birth of their child was one of the most special events <em>in their lives</em>. They don’t expect it to be the most special event in everyone else’s lives.<br />
Furthermore, should you remarry and have children with your new wife, the GU believes that she and the child(ren) you share with her should take precedence over your current relationship and any new offspring. The GU believes she should always come first and, by association with her, the child you share.<br />
For example, let’s say the child you share is an adult, but you’re still obligated to pay your ex, <em>an adult</em>, spousal support. You remarry and have a child with a medical issue. The GU believes her spousal support should be your first priority instead of paying for the second child’s medical expenses. <span style="color: red;">Twistedly enough, many family courts would support this pathological entitlement and adult dependency. </span><strong>As a retired judge-mediator recently told one of my clients during his divorce settlement: “You have two children. One is 16 and the other is 54 and you’re responsible for both of them because you choose to live in a patriarchal state.”</strong> This was a female judge, by the way.<br />
<strong>5. Boundaries are for everyone else; boundaries don’t apply to the GU.</strong> No boundaries. Bupkis. You must respect the GU’s boundaries, but you’re not allowed to have any boundaries. <b><span style="color: red;">If you have healthy boundaries, the GU will accuse you of being controlling, withholding, abusive, unresponsive and, naturally, a bad dad.</span></b><br />
<strong>6. All other child caregivers are irrelevant.</strong> Fathers are walking ATMs. A father’s role is to financially and emotionally support the mother (i.e., be her emotional punching bag/doormat and listen to her complain about how hard it is to be a mother). That’s it. Fathers get no real input into how the children are raised.<br />
<span style="color: red;">Step-mothers are less than non-entities. They are to act as servants to the children during visitation and are less than handmaidens to the golden uterus. <b>Step-mothers</b>/girlfriends <b>are intruders and are treated as such</b>. </span>Extended paternal family members are to act as a subservient support system to the GU, that is, if she allows them to have any access to the kids. Extended paternal family members are also expected to side with the GU over their own flesh and blood and to dispense cash for the <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">GU’s</span> children’s “needs.”<br />
<strong>7. Once you have sex with a GU, she owns you for life.</strong> The golden uterus believes that if she gave birth to your children, you are “connected for life.” She should always come first (even if you’ve <em>both</em> remarried) and YOU OWE HER until death you do part.<br />
This also applies to the children. GUs wield guilt over their children with staggering virtuosity. “<em>I am your mother. I carried you for 9 months. No one will ever love you like I do. No one will ever break our bond. No one will ever come between us. I CARRIED you in my WOMB for NINE months. YOU can NEVER do that for me.</em>”<br />
When the children become adults, the GU still believes she should come first in her adult children’s lives and take precedence over their spouses and children. <span style="color: red;">A GU’s children owe her because she is their mother. <b>This is just so sick and twisted. </b></span>Unlike an ex-husband who can break free of this death grip; many GU kids are <b><span style="color: red;">indoctrinated into the GU’s warped belief system and it’s extremely difficult for them to break free. </span></b>If they reject the GU’s distorted belief system and abuses, they’re treated like public enemy number one and may even be disowned by the GU, which wouldn’t necessarily be such a bad thing. Nevertheless, it’s terrifying for many children and adult children to contemplate.<br />
<span style="color: red;">This is a perversion of parenthood</span>. These are often the women who get pregnant so that they’ll have “someone who’ll love [me] unconditionally.” They fail to understand that it’s the <em>parent </em>who’s supposed to meet the child’s love and safety needs and not the other way around.<br />
<strong><img alt="" class="size-medium wp-image-3009 alignleft" height="261" src="http://www.shrink4men.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/miley-cyrus-mom-kissy-duck-face-300x261.jpg" title="miley cyrus mom kissy duck face" width="300" />8. GUs like to take <a href="http://antiduckface.com/" target="_blank">kissy duck face</a> make-out photos with their children.</strong> Facebook addicted GUs like to post kissy-duck face-make-out photos with their child(ren). It’s rather like manic, digital age pietas. “<em>Look at meeee and my child who loves meeee! See! We’re so close we’re more like best friennnnnds!</em>” Boundaries, shmoundaries.<br />
These photos are similar in nature to the photos drunken college girls take of themselves with their arms wrapped around each other and their faces pressed together. Whenever I see a photo of a mother with her child in a lip lock-bear hug with a Joker smile, I think: ENMESHED GU.<br />
<strong>9. Golden uterus mothers are feeeeeeelers.</strong> The golden uterus believes that her emotions are reason enough for any action, <b><span style="color: red;">no matter how despicable. In fact, the GU’s feelings often trump what’s really in the child’s best interests.</span></b><br />
For example, “<span style="color: red;">I’m angry with your father” means the children are denied access to their father. Cutting the other parent out of a child’s life is rarely in the child’s best interests. However, the GU is feeeeeeling angry, wronged, ignored, disrespected, challenged, etc., so that becomes her justification to attack and/or punish others—even if <u>her actions violate a court orde</u>r.</span><br />
<strong>10. Once the GU gives birth, her “job” is done.</strong> “GUs believe that simply birthing a child is all they’re responsible for as a contribution to the parenting, raising and welfare of their child. From the moment the child emerges from her hallowed trough, it is solely on the father to provide all for both her and the child” (<em><em>anonymous source</em></em>).<br />
Once a GU gives birth, <span style="color: red;">she has her own little foot soldier to weaponize and use as a control device over the child’s father </span>and family. This is when many of these women choose not to return to work. By giving birth, the GU essentially has her husband over a barrel. She knows it and she uses it.<br />
<strong>11. Children are possessions; not their own persons.</strong> “The GU views the child as<span style="color: red;"> her possession</span>. The GU will take all the kudos for birthing a child, <span style="color: red;">but none of the responsibility</span>. If someone tries to point out the discrepancies, the GU <b><span style="color: red;">will will heave out emotional garbage to cover up their <u>horrible parenting</u></span></b>. The GU only views the child in context to herself. Everything is about her” (<em><em>anonymous source</em></em>).<br />
<strong>12. The GU uses motherhood as an excuse.</strong> “Becoming a ‘mother’ is the GU’s excuse for EVERYTHING. She can’t work because ‘mothers don’t work.’ My husband HAS to give her all of his money because she’s the mother of his ONLY child. She lost all identity as a woman and used becoming a mother as her free ride in life” (<em><em>anonymous source</em></em>).<br />
Even after their children are in school full-time, GUs still use the kids and being a mother as an excuse not to work outside the home and often not to work inside the home. “<em>You have no idea how stressful it is being a mom.</em>” Um, the kids are in school all day. What do you do with your time? <em>“You always minimize all the hard work I do. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.”</em> Um, the breakfast dishes are still in the sink when I get home from work in the evening. The laundry is piled up and the kids haven’t done their homework. What did you do all day? “<em>HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME. I’m <strong>THE MOTHER</strong> OF YOUR CHILDREN!”</em><br />
<strong>13. GUs are self-appointed parenting experts.</strong> <span style="color: red;">Despite the fact that her parenting behaviors should be used as an example in </span><em><span style="color: red;">How NOT to Parent 101,</span> “</em>the golden uterus believes that having birthed a child makes them better and more knowledgeable than others; e.g., the “Well you don’t have kids so how would <em>you</em> know anything?” woman (<em><em>anonymous source</em></em>). If you should dare challenge the GU’s parenting skills and superior authority, see number 3 above.<br />
<strong>14. Motherhood is a title and a power trip.</strong> “The golden uterus views mothering as a title rather than a relationship and a set of behaviors. Mothering requires selflessness at times. It requires sacrifice at times. It requires paying attention to the child and putting your time and energy into meeting their needs, which also requires seeing the child as a unique and separate individual from yourself, not a mirror of your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. A golden uterus mother fails at mothering and instead uses her title to extort things from others ‘in the name of the child.’ Essentially, <strong style="color: red;">they use their offspring as a way to get their own needs met</strong><span style="color: red;">” </span>(<em>anonymous source</em>).<br />
<strong>15. The GU is never wrong.</strong> “The golden uterus seems to expect that they get a total free pass on accountability for their own behavior. <strong>I have often told my husband that his ex lives on a one way street paved in double standards.</strong> <span style="color: red;">Her own bad behavior is to be overlooked. Yet she will attempt to crucify him for any and all perceived weaknesses or ‘failures.</span>’ She is judge and jury and quick to condemn my husband (and me, for that matter) yet she can do no wrong” (<em>anonymous source</em>).<br />
<strong>What can you do if the mother of your children has a golden uterus complex?</strong><br />
<span style="color: red;">There’s nothing you can do to change her. Nothing. She’s highly unlikely to see the light and morph into a reasonable human being and good mother.</span> Your goal, as with all high-conflict abusive types, should be containment. You accomplish containment through establishing iron-clad boundaries. Learn to say no and then practice deafening your ears to the caterwauling.<br />
Don’t let her use your children as an extortion mechanism. <b><span style="color: red;">Don’t allow the children to view you as a human ATM machine. In other words, don’t reward your children’s bad behavior with money, gifts, trips and other goodies, otherwise, they will view you the same way that their mother does.</span></b> I know many fathers are desperate for time with their children and use toys and expensive entertainment as bait. Trust me, this is not the relationship you want with your children. It’s a quick path to time with them, but it’s an unhealthy and impermanent one.<br />
Decide exactly how much bad behavior you’re willing to to tolerate from your ex and what offenses you want to pursue in court. <span style="color: red;">Forget about co-parenting with a GU; it’s next to impossible</span>. You will be less frustrated if you try to parallel parent. <b><span style="color: red;">A GU will undermine you at nearly every turn. </span></b>Expect it and plan for it.<br />
<b><span style="color: red;">Don’t put your current wife/girlfriend in the middle <u>and don’t tolerate your ex or your children disrespecting her. </u></span></b>Demand respect for yourself and your loved ones. If your ex and the kids violate these boundaries, find appropriate consequences for their violations.<br />
Finally, don’t drink the golden uterus’ kool-aid. The fact that you once had a relationship with her/share a child does <em>not</em> bind you together for life. Just because she wants this to be the truth doesn’t make it so. Just because your ex has chosen to define herself by a failed relationship and 36 hours in a delivery room doesn’t mean you have to do the same. GUs are legends in their own minds and their own worst enemies. <span style="color: red;">Minimize contact </span>and try to foster healthy boundaries, values and senses of self in your children during the time you have them <span style="color: red;">and hope it sticks.</span><br />
<strong>Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:</strong><br />
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the <a href="http://www.shrink4men.com/2011/04/25/services/" target="_blank" title="Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services"><strong>Shrink4Men Services</strong></a> page for professional inquiries.Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-42317386543800261472011-05-20T07:42:00.000-07:002011-05-20T08:35:45.951-07:00Gang bangers and Parental Alienation<div class="MsoNormal">It seems the conversation here has turned to my gang banger comments. So let me get that out of the way because it is only one consequence of PAS. Gangs, drugs, poor manners and neglect are an appalling result of poor parenting. Kids do not grow up dreaming of smoking pot, doing drugs, stealing and prostituting themselves. The need they develop is out of a basic need for love and belonging, for a family atmosphere, and they get that in the organization of the so called gang clans. Understand that these kids are not only looking for love but they are very weak minded and easy to influence because of their damaged mental state. There can be no doubt but that Parental Alienation is Evil. It destroys and forever alters the way a child’s mind develops. There will always be children that are lacking the spirit within them, and they will rebel and stray away from the truth. Efforts to enlighten them, help them and guide them will be resisted (perhaps resented) because they lack strength, they lack the inter strength and character for what ever reason and PA is just one of many issues effecting their minds.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> I have known gangs, known gang members have protected some in my past because as tough of an image they try to portray, when the rubber hits the road, 99.9 % of them are just cowards inside. Their smack talk becomes cries for help when they are confronted. They run for safety of men or women that they know are honorable people. They do so because they know these people will stand up when they cannot. It is the fact that responsible citizens standing for the truth and confronting the mindless pack of dogs, is what keeps our society intact. When confronted publicly, 4-5 cowards will walk away from one virtuous man or woman. Yet even cowardly, homeless dogs find strength in a pack and that is what a gang is. It is only a force when it has a large following. Gutless, spineless and pathetic animals will gravitate towards each other in an effort to cover for each of their weakness. In a pack or gang, it takes a lot of warm bodies in an attempt to fill such a void. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Where animals do not have a parent for long, most children are different. There are cases where kids don’t know their father and their mother is a whore and drug addict. For those, only God and can help them through his church on earth.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This brings me to the core of the problem with our world, we have pushed God out.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Children are not born with moral values and concepts, they learn them at home and in the church.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> Ephesians 4 -14 Then we will no longer be <u>infants</u>, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blow here and there by wind of <u>teaching</u> and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their <u>deceitful scheming</u>. Instead, speaking the truth in love. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>Infants</u>, contrast to maturity. <u>Teaching</u>, then as now, there are many distorted teachings. <u>Deceitful scheming</u>, not innocently misguided but deliberately deceitful and evil. </i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We all need God and Jesus Christ in our life to survive! There would be no PA, there would be no gangs, there would be no family crises of any kind if the family (the father as the leader and the mother as his companion and supporter) would follow the simple teachings in the bible. It is there for anyone at any time to read. Many good study bibles are easier to read and understand. Churches have information pamphlets available and bible study class before the regular services. To attend such classes that discuss family issues is a great way to stay on the correct path with your children. The support you can get from your church members and those of all ages and experiences who attend your class, is invaluable! BUT, to be successful, you must attend as a family! Mother and Father united and directed by what they learn in the church. Children need to be educated in Sabbath class, to the words and teachings of Jesus Christ.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I thought it fitting to include the two quotes below.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif";">"It should be your care, therefore, and mine, to elevate the minds of our children and exalt their courage; to accelerate and animate their industry and activity; to excite in them an habitual contempt of meanness, abhorrence of injustice and inhumanity, and an ambition to excel in every capacity, faculty, and virtue. If we suffer their minds to grovel and creep in infancy, they will grovel all their lives." --John Adams, Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law, 1756</span><br />
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<div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://walkthetalk.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8f89bce0be7e1813d8ad34042&id=f8c12b07fa&e=3d4a744a50"><span style="color: #336699; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt; text-decoration: none;">Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. </span></a></div><b><span style="color: #336699; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">~Ralph Waldo Emerson </span></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ukpCWq8iLLY/TdZ9iq0SqxI/AAAAAAAAAPs/1CLUGezJSmA/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ukpCWq8iLLY/TdZ9iq0SqxI/AAAAAAAAAPs/1CLUGezJSmA/s320/4.jpg" width="229" /></a></div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-5906959552136472052011-05-18T20:21:00.000-07:002011-05-18T20:24:11.857-07:00The result and consequences of (Evils of Parental Alienation).<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Below is an un-published comment left on Jans site”</span> <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://www.secondhandwife.blogspot.com/">http://www.secondhandwife.blogspot.com/</a>” She sent me the comment because of its content and language. She made it very clear that this type of language and threats were not going to be posted as a comment on her blog. I feel 99.9% sure it was left by my youngest son Colton. Therefore I will address it as such and point to the life changes that can take place when a parent or parents practice “Parental Alienation” on their children. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">This will be a long blog and will be very enlightening as to the tragic effects of PA. I encourage everyone to read it and forward it to anyone you care about because if this has not happened in your family, it has or will affect people you know and love.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Because of the language and threats please view the comment in <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: red;">red</span></b> below with caution. No one deserves to be attack in such a manner for any reason. Jan (Colton’s step mother) was nothing but a loving and supporting step mother to all my sons. I thank Jan for that and for her continued efforts to present the truth in hopes of bettering my family relationships in the future. Truth is the only way to confront anger and education the only way to address ignorance. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It is my responsibility to address my sons actions and words below in an attempt to correct him and help others who must deal with the <u>evils of parental alienation</u>. I do so to impede this destructive path he is on, and with God’s help, save his future. I and others can only try. It is his heart that has to be open. He must let go of the pain, blame and anger. He must confront himself with not only the truth, but how he wants his life to proceed. It is a huge undertaking for a young man (14 years old at this writing) and he will have to be strong in order to apologize to himself for his words, anger and self destructive views. Colton can chose to live a life of torment and disappointment or to change and become a Man. A man who takes responsibility for his own life and desires to have a full and happy life with good relationships with all his family members. A happy productive and full life is not beyond his reach. Such a goal and desire is within all of us. We all chose our own path. “For me and my house, we will follow the Lord”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span>Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "<a href="http://secondhandwife.blogspot.com/2011/05/definitions-of-parental-alienation.html">Definitions of Parental Alienation (The Mother wil...</a>": </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span style="color: red;">Noooo life is what you have, you noob, wannabe blogger, u BK random (BK-bad kid) 1v1 me if u think your good or sumtin foo, u aint got shit on me holmes no way brah, i live my life a quater of a mile at a time, for those 10 secondss or less im free. CHEERS BITCH. or CUnt or slut or whore or watever the fuck u r. did u like that little ryhme cuz if u give me some time ill get u a dime and u can shove it where the sun dont shine. -ME not u, not someone u copy, and just for the record for all that read this just know u r reading somthing not worth ur time only this fake ass hoe and u just wasted time reading this than being with ur familia aka family or maybe u already knew wat that ment so i laugh at u and dispise u as a living being and scorn u for wasting good oxygen by breathing in this beautiful earth that will be still heere for centuries to come and would love it if u didnt breath its oxygen. thank you and goodnight asta laveesta bitch would love to see wat u no lifes have to comment back cuz i am a walking nightmare and u sure dont wanna fuk wit me u white ass cracker/redneck hoe bag. Peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" /> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">It is hard for me to see the transformation in my son. I believe he is at an all time low in his life and that is very sad. He should be enjoying school, friends and family, not writing trash like a little gang banger. I loathe those gang banger types and that is a character weakness in me. Everyone that knows me understands my position. I consider gang bangers to be just small minded scared children that have no direction in life. They make up words and use foul language in an effort to display how tough they think they are. In reality, they are losers in life. Children that for whatever reason have no love or compassion and feel just the opposite of what they try to portray, they are scared of life. They are lost and find comfort in companionship with those who are in the same frame of mind. Often this happens in homes that are devoid of love and discipline. Still, as much as their parents are at fault, it is the child that has the ultimate and final say as to who they will associate with and whom they will look up to as role models. There are many more good examples to follow then there are poor examples. All of these kids know people like older brothers/sisters, teachers, church members, athletes and stand up citizens in the community that they can get support from. The choice is theirs as to whom to follow. The problem lies in the fact that when kids feel wronged, they will chose a relationship or action that they know, will hurt the parent they are angry or disappointed with. The end result of such a path, only hurts the child and adversely effects their future. As the saying goes, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” For me…to waste a child is just terrible.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The language used in the comment is not that of a son I raised. Threats of any kind by a child is not acceptable and a threat by a young man to a lady is inexcusable. Such threats demonstrates a childlike/bullying action, fitting of a weak minded gang banger. Whoever wrote the comment has a trouble soul indeed. The good news is, a soul desires to be good and live a happy full life. The spirit is always with a hurting soul, the true and enjoyable spirit is steadfast, one only has to ask for help and seek redemption. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">During a meeting with the commissioner, she referred to the boys as well mannered, (in my full custody at the time) polite and well spoken. What a huge change in 2 short years while in the custody of a mother that preaches hate for their step mother and their father. Coltons grades dropped from a 3.56 gpa with excellent attendance, to so far this year, 30 days absent, 20 more tardy times and a gpa of 2.4 This happened in the time he has been with his mother. This is not love for a child! Children need guild lines to keep them safe and to show them that their parent or parents love them enough to do the tough job of being a responsible parent. This is the type of love a gang banger child is missing, missing and begging for!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A child does not make the type of conversion you see unfolding here on his or her own. As the photos below (and in many places in this blog) will prove, Colton had a very loving home (with Jan and I) and experienced many family functions. Ones that I believe he is missing now and that void is being filled with anger and rebellion. This is seen in his school work, his language, manners an alleged pot use. This child is crying out for discipline and a direction in life. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">An alienating parent very seldom has a structured home. His or her goal revolves around anger and revenge for some perceived wrong by their ex. In my case Linda left me and the boys for a party life style and another man. This is not all that uncommon and cheating on your spouse happens much to often. Sometimes this indiscretion can be overcome and the marriage and family can survive. I was used to fund the adventure and asked to lie to the children as to why their mother was not home. I regret that, as a lie is never good, even if the intention was. I wanted to spare the children the truth and did so until now. But still, they knew what happened because their mother had a boy friend next door to the house I helped her buy. I understand that they became engaged shortly after but I don’t know that for a fact. I do know that she had many boyfriends in and out, spending the night and even left the children alone while she went out on dates. I know because she sent me e-mails bragging about “young men standing in line”. Many people saw her out on the town, partying and gambling until all her money was gone. She lost her many cars, her house and filed for bankruptcy protection. Indeed while I and Jan were at dinner with friends, Linda was playing pool in the next room while the boys were in her care, at home, alone. Information from Cowichee now is that her married boyfriends divorce was final…and so is her relationship with him now. Go figure. According to what was placed on face book, her priority is dating and not family. I think this has hurt Colton very much. As mean as she had been to him while he lived with Jan and I, (denying him sport practices, ranch vacations and threatening to abandon on the side of the road) he still craved the love of his mother. I think he has been disappointed in the outcome and believes he has lost the love of his father and family members also. This insecurity is understandable under the circumstances. Yet the door opens or closes both ways. Colton is old enough and smart enough (even if his grades do not reflect that now) to digest the truth. He does not need to resent his mother for her actions or behavior or let her actions diminish his love for her, but he need to understand that his anger toward Jan and I is very misplaced. It does not matter that he was told how I was abusive and Jan somehow aggravated his mother, the truth is inside him, perhaps hidden at the moment but still, IT IS IN HIM. It is in your child also. At some point your child will see the truth and understand what really happened. The hard part is...will they be strong enough to make an effort to restore the relationship or not. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Reconciliation does not have to come in a form of apology.It only needs honest actions of love on everyones part. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jtTcm3DbDgI/TdSIlK5y5II/AAAAAAAAAPk/jT3_VZ0DNk0/s1600/7+Years+old0002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jtTcm3DbDgI/TdSIlK5y5II/AAAAAAAAAPk/jT3_VZ0DNk0/s320/7+Years+old0002.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kDvh5Y0747k/TdSIodu83aI/AAAAAAAAAPo/NxxWtkAvqYU/s1600/7+boys+in+the+river+5-30-05.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kDvh5Y0747k/TdSIodu83aI/AAAAAAAAAPo/NxxWtkAvqYU/s320/7+boys+in+the+river+5-30-05.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"> After looking at all the photos above, do you think they were taken by an abusive father or uncaring step mother? Can you see all the activities that are for the boys? All the healthy out door events and get togethers? All the family times? All the travels and fun that is part of a family growing together? We loved each other and it shows in everyone of these photos!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Let no one say other wise! </b></div><div class="MsoNormal">ps...I don't see a gang banger in any of them.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Below is a must read. The bible is full of advise for fathers and families. Without His guidance, there is no family. Read this and then the explanations below and perhaps we all will come to a better understanding of a fathers role.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal">Just a Dad....</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div style="line-height: 15.75pt;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever,.... That is, bring his judgments upon them, which should continue on them to their utter destruction; this, as to the substance, he said before by the man of God:</span></div><div style="line-height: 15.75pt;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">for the iniquity which he knoweth; for the iniquity of his sons, which he thoroughly informed of, and fully acquainted with by others; and somewhat of which he must have been sensible of, and seen with his own eyes, and therefore was inexcusable:</span></div><div style="line-height: 15.75pt;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">because his sons made themselves vile; mean and contemptible in the sight of men, abhorred and accursed in the sight of God, by taking the flesh of the sacrifices of the people, which did not belong to them, who came to sacrifice, and by debauching the women that came to the door of the tabernacle for religious service. It is said this clause was originally written, "because his sons made light of me"; or cursed the Lord, and is one of the eighteen places called the correction of the Scribes, who corrected it as we have it; and it may be observed, the Septuagint version is, "because his sons spake ill of God"; or cursed him; however, this they did, they preferred their lusts, and the indulging of them, to the honour and glory of God: this Eli knew:</span></div><div style="line-height: 15.75pt;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">and he restrained them not; from their evil practices; he did not make use of his authority, neither as a father, and especially not as high priest, and the judge of Israel, who ought not only to have sharply reproved them, which he did not, but to have censured or punished them, and turned them out of their office: "or did not frown upon them" (t), as in the margin of our Bibles; he did not knit his brows, or wrinkle up his face, and by his countenance show his displeasure at their proceedings, but in an easy, smooth, gentle manner, expostulated with them about them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">3:13 Restrained them not - He contented himself with a cold reproof, and did not punish, and effectually restrain them. They who can, and do not restrain others from sin, make themselves partakers of the guilt. Those in authority will have a great deal to answer for, if the sword they bear be not a terror to evil - doers.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><br />
<hr align="center" noshade="noshade" size="1" style="color: #bbe0ff;" width="100%" /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://kjt.biblecommenter.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">King James Translators' Notes</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">For I...: or, And I will tell him</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">vile: or, accursed</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">restrained...: Heb. frowned not upon them</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><br />
<hr align="center" noshade="noshade" size="1" style="color: #bbe0ff;" width="100%" /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://mhc.biblecommenter.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">3:11-18 What a great deal of guilt and corruption is there in us, concerning which we may say, It is the iniquity which our own heart knoweth; we are conscious to ourselves of it! Those who do not restrain the sins of others, when it is in their power to do it, make themselves partakers of the guilt, and will be charged as joining in it. In his remarkable answer to this awful sentence, Eli acknowledged that the Lord had a right to do as he saw good, being assured that he would do nothing wrong. The meekness, patience, and humility contained in those words, show that he was truly repentant; he accepted the punishment of his sin.</span></div><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="mso-cellspacing: 0in; mso-padding-alt: 0in 0in 0in 0in; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184; width: 100.0%;"><tbody>
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">New International Version</span></a> <a href="http://biblica.com/"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">(©1984)</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://nlt.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">New Living Translation</span></a> <a href="http://www.newlivingtranslation.com/"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">(©2007)</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn't disciplined them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://esv.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">English Standard Version</span></a> <a href="http://www.crossway.org/"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">(©2001)</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://nasb.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">New American Standard Bible</span></a> <a href="http://www.lockman.org/"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">(©1995)</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
"For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://gwt.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">GOD'S WORD® Translation</span></a> <a href="http://www.godsword.org/"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">(©1995)</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
I told him that I would hand down a permanent judgment against his household because he knew about his sons' sin-that they were cursing God-but he didn't try to stop them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://kingjbible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">King James Bible</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://kjv.us/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">American King James Version</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knows; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://asvbible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">American Standard Version</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons did bring a curse upon themselves, and he restrained them not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://basicenglishbible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Bible in Basic English</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
And you are to say to him that I will send punishment on his family for ever, for the sin which he had knowledge of; because his sons have been cursing God and he had no control over them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://drb.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Douay-Rheims Bible</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have foretold unto him, that I will judge his house for ever, for iniquity, because he knew that his sons did wickedly, and did not chastise them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://darbybible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Darby Bible Translation</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have declared to him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he hath known: because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://erv.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">English Revised Version</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons did bring a curse upon themselves, and he restrained them not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://websterbible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Webster's Bible Translation</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have told him, that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knoweth: because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://worldebible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">World English Bible</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
For I have told him that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves, and he didn't restrain them.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"><a href="http://yltbible.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Young's Literal Translation</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br />
and I have declared to him that I am judging his house -- to the age, for the iniquity which he hath known, for his sons are making themselves vile, and he hath not restrained them,</span></div></td> </tr>
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</tbody></table><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://barnes.biblecommenter.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Barnes' Notes on the Bible</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Made themselves vile - Rather, "have cursed themselves," i. e. brought curses upon themselves.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">He restrained them not - In the sense of punishing. He did not remove them from their office, which he ought to have done.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><br />
<hr align="center" noshade="noshade" size="1" style="color: #bbe0ff;" width="100%" /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://clarke.biblecommenter.com/1_samuel/3.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">Clarke's Commentary on the Bible</span></a></span></b><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">I will judge his house for ever - I will continue to execute judgments upon it till it is destroyed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">His sons made themselves vile - See <a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/2-12.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">1 Samuel 2:12-17</span></a>, <a href="http://niv.scripturetext.com/1_samuel/2-22.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">1 Samuel 2:22-25</span></a>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.75pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">He restrained them not - He did not use his parental and juridical authority to curb them, and prevent the disorders which they committed. See at the conclusion of the chapter, <a href="http://bible.cc/1_samuel/3-21.htm"><span style="color: #0092f2; text-decoration: none;">1 Samuel 3:21</span></a> (note).</span></div></td> </tr>
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</div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-76141796574950912562011-05-16T15:45:00.000-07:002011-05-16T15:45:51.044-07:00What is child abuse today?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</style> <![endif]--> <div class="MsoNormal"><em><b><span style="color: #fd0000; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
</span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: #fd0000; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></b></em><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Many of the things that made us the greatest generation ever...would now be called child abuse and our parents would have been thrown into jail. We the kids would have been stolen by the court for our own protection and placed in homes where we could grow up fat and lazy with the attitude that everyone owes us something. Kind of like the entitlement mentality that kids and to many young adults have today!</span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt;"></span></i></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #602f81; font-size: 14.0pt;">~~~~~~~~~</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #602f81; font-size: 14.0pt;">TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #602f81; font-size: 14.0pt;">1930s, '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s!!</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">while they were pregnant.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">Then, after that trauma, we were</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">put to sleep on our tummies</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">in baby cribs covered</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">with bright colored lead-based paints.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">and, when we rode our bikes,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">we had baseball caps,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">not helmets, on our heads.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes..</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">WHY?</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">Because we were always outside playing...that's why!</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">No one was able to reach us all day.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">--And, we were OKAY.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">We would spend hours building</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">our go-carts out of scraps</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">and then ride them down the hill,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">only to find out we forgot the brakes.. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem..</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">We did not have Play Stations, Nintendos and X-boxes. There were</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">no video games, no 150 channels on cable,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">no video movies or DVDs,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">no surround-sound or CDs,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">no cell phones,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">no personal computers,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">no Internet and no chat rooms.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">WE HAD FRIENDS</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">and we went outside and found them!</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">We fell out of trees, got cut,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">broke bones and teeth,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">and there were no lawsuits</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">from those accidents. </span></b></em><b><i><span style="color: #7f0000; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
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</span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #fd0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, and no one would call child services to report abuse.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">We ate worms, and mud pies</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">made from dirt, and</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">the worms did not live in us forever.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and </span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">-although we were told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">Little League had tryouts</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">and not everyone made the team.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">Those who didn't had to learn</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">to deal with disappointment.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">Imagine that!!</span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0900bf; font-size: 14.0pt;">The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. <u>They actually sided with the law!</u></span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><u><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">These generations have produced some of the best</span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b></em><strong><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></strong><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">risk-takers,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></u></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><u><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">problem solvers, and inventors ever.</span></b></em></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">The past 50 to 85 years have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas..</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><u><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.</span></b></em></u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">If YOU are one of those born</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0080; font-size: 14.0pt;">between 1925-1970, CONGRATULATIONS!</span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before </span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: red; font-size: 14.0pt;">the lawyers</span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;"> and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0c8180; font-size: 14.0pt;">While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.</span></b></em></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><em><b><span style="color: #43a1ff; font-size: 14.0pt;">No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us,</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #43a1ff; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt;">WE ARE AWESOME !!!</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #43a1ff; font-size: 14.0pt;">OUR Lives are LIVING PROOF !!!</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><em></em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #7f0000; font-size: 14.0pt;">~~~~~~~</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">The quote of the month</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">by</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">Jay Leno:</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br />
<em> </em></span></i></b><em><b><span style="color: #0a8200; font-size: 14.0pt;">"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"</span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and ignore this.</span></b></em><em><b><span style="color: black; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b></em><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><em><b><span style="color: #060080; font-size: 14.0pt;">For the rest of us.....pass this on.</span></b></em></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rc4KYd7vxtk/TdGjdJRP-8I/AAAAAAAAAKw/R3HjfFq3Gbo/s1600/old+photos+save+103.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rc4KYd7vxtk/TdGjdJRP-8I/AAAAAAAAAKw/R3HjfFq3Gbo/s320/old+photos+save+103.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> Pulling boys on a sled at Christmas time with a horse and what an attorney called an abusive father<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LDZFdriLh-0/TdGjk_JBqDI/AAAAAAAAAK0/2cu05_Ys15s/s1600/Beach+Riding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LDZFdriLh-0/TdGjk_JBqDI/AAAAAAAAAK0/2cu05_Ys15s/s320/Beach+Riding.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> Kaleb, Colton and Dakota riding horses on the beach with a loving step mother who was responsible for and coordinated lots of fun family times.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BGt9Lb-tycg/TdGjvORkcuI/AAAAAAAAAK4/fMaXUO5-Ek4/s1600/Jan+4+boys+on+snowmobiles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BGt9Lb-tycg/TdGjvORkcuI/AAAAAAAAAK4/fMaXUO5-Ek4/s320/Jan+4+boys+on+snowmobiles.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> Josh, Kaleb, Colton and Dakota with Jan having fun. Thank you Jan for buying the snow-machines for us. We all had great times!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b6yWYbvLyf8/TdGl5rvgllI/AAAAAAAAALA/0doj3di9AQ4/s1600/Snow+002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b6yWYbvLyf8/TdGl5rvgllI/AAAAAAAAALA/0doj3di9AQ4/s320/Snow+002.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> The 4 boys being pulled around the driveway behind a crazy man on a tractor.</span></div>Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.com3