Sunday, June 27, 2010
So Saul clothed David with his armor, and he put a bronze helmet on his head; he also clothed him with a coat of mail. David fastened his sword to his armor and tried to walk, for he had not tested them. And David said to Saul, “I cannot walk with these, for I have not tested them.” So David took them off. (1 Samuel 17:38-39 NKJV)
David was confident that he was loved and valued by God just for who he was: a little shepherd boy. He knew that what God had taught him in the fields, God could use to vanquish his enemies on the battlefield. I still feel awe for this young man who turned down the king’s armor and went off to face a giant. Basically David was saying, “I don’t need to be something that I am not.”
That story inspires me to see the places in my life where I am trying to be someone else, too. What messages am I sending by the clothes I wear? The diets I start? The career ambitions I have? We need to be the example for the next generation of being enough as we are.
Maybe we don’t reach as many young people as we could because we are trying to teach them to wear the armor we think they should wear. We mean well, but we may be trying to fit them into our own idea of who they should be. Saul meant well in offering his armor.
Instead we could tell them that God loves them and created each and every one of us for a special purpose. We could be showing them how to find themselves in the Bible instead of just making them conform. If we could teach each child to honor what God did when creating them, maybe they wouldn’t feel the need to become an “Emo,” a “Goth,” or a “Skinhead.” They might not be looking for confidence through plastic surgery and designer labels. Instead, they could become: themselves.
Are you reaching and teaching our children to be themselves—a unique person created by God? Reach out and help them to explore who they really are, not just who we want them to be.
Scripture Of The Day: But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” - Matthew 19:14 (NKJV)
Love you Colton
Friday, June 25, 2010
1. When you face a setback, think of it as a defining moment that will lead to a future accomplishment.
2. When you encounter adversity, remember, the best don’t just face adversity; they embrace it, knowing it’s not a dead end but a detour to something greater and better.
3. When you face negative people, know that the key to life is to stay positive in the face of negativity, not in the absence of it. After all, everyone will have to overcome negativity to define themselves and create their success.
4. When you face the naysayer’s, remember the people who believed in you and spoke positive words to you.
5. When you face critics, remember to tune them out and focus only on being the best you can be.
6. When you wake up in the morning, take a morning walk of gratitude and prayer. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.
7. When you fear, trust. Let your faith be greater than your doubt.
8. When you fail, find the lesson in it, and then recall a time when you have succeeded.
9. When you head into battle, visualize success.
10. When you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future, instead focus your energy on the present moment. The now is where your power is the greatest.
11. When you want to complain, instead identify a solution.
12. When your own self-doubt crowds your mind, weed it and replace it with positive thoughts and positive self-talk.
13. When you feel distracted, focus on your breathing, observe your surroundings, clear your mind, and get into The Zone. The Zone is not a random event. It can be created.
14. When you feel all is impossible, know that with God all things are possible.
15. When you feel alone, think of all the people who have helped you along the way and who love and support you now.
16. When you feel lost, pray for guidance.
17. When you are tired and drained, remember to never, never, never give up. Finish Strong in everything you do.
18. When you feel like you can’t do it, know that you can do all things through Him who gives you strength.
19. When you feel like your situation is beyond your control, pray and surrender. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.
20. When you’re in a high-pressure situation and the game is on the line, and everyone is watching you, remember to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Life is short; you only live once. You have nothing to lose. Seize the moment.
Good stuff above! Have a Great Weekend!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
To all you dads that have lost or have had your children stolen from you because of Parental Alienation, my heart goes out to you!
Remember all the good times you had, all the hugs, the laughter and the fun. Remember that you are a good man and that, Evil will be in this world. Remember that you must control the stress and protect your health. If you do not, you allow your ex to legally kill you! Stay strong. Hope and pray for a new future and for the day that your kids come back to you with full knowledge of what happened to their childhood and why.
Stay positive, count your blessings and enjoy those who love and support you. Look forward to each new day. You may not hear it today from your Alienated children today so…
Happy Fathers Day Dad!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Honoring Your Parents
He did not say to honor them if they were right. Nor did it say to honor, esteem, and value your parents if they were perfect. God said, honor, esteem and value as precious your father and your mother. This is the first commandment with a promise.
To honor your parents is to love them. And God’s love is unconditional. The kind of love He expects us to exhibit as His children, as believers, is unconditional love even if we had parents who were terrible. Why is this? It is for your own preservation. Verse 3 says, “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” In other words, your prosperity in the earth is tied to how you treat your parents.
When your parents need help, and when they get old, they should not be thrown away like an old shoe in case they get in the way of your life. This is one reason why God expects you not to get into debt. When your parents get old you should be willing to assist them. The Bible said, as a man sows that shall he also reap. You do not know, if Jesus tarries, that you will be old one day and you may need assistance from your children.
People wonder why they do what the Bible says, and do not get the blessing. It is because they have not accepted all of the Bible. They picked up certain portions they wanted to pick up. They liked the mo ney cometh part, but not the take care of the parents’ part. You have to accept all of God’s word.
If you will live godly, God will bless your seed and your seed’s seed. It says to honor your parents. Obey your parents. If you are a young person, it does not matter whether or not mama understands, do what she tells you to do. Do what your parents tell you to do and honor them, and you will live long and see good days on the earth.
Scripture Of The Day: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother" - Ephesians 6:1-2 (KJV)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
As my ex wife drags me to a full day court hearing on child support, it consoles me to know that some courts and judges are making responsible rulings.
In the case below, the Judge made a correct ruling in finding the mother guilty of abuse by conducting Parental Alienation. I don’t think you have to go far into this case to undercover that the Mother is Evil and seeks revenge in the form of money. That, and to inflect as much pain on her ex as possible. All of this at the expense of the children. The case documents (just as mine own did) that the mother indeed practices PA. I will be looking for a court here in WA that will make informed and correct judgments, as this court did in NY.
A Long Island, N.Y., judge has sentenced a woman to six weekends in jail for repeatedly undermining her ex-husband's relationship with their two daughters.
Supreme Court Justice Robert A. Ross in Nassau County ruled that the mother, Lauren R., willfully violated a court order by deliberately alienating the elementary school-age children from her ex-husband, Ted R.
Ross held Ms. R. in civil contempt and ordered her to report to the Nassau County Correctional Facility every other weekend this summer.
Her term was to have begun on Friday, but was temporarily stayed pending appeal by a judge from the Appellate Division, 2nd Department, on Thursday.
"The evidence before me demonstrates a pattern of willful and calculated violations of the clear and express dictates of the parties' Stipulation of Settlement," Ross wrote in, 203699-02.
"The extensive record is replete with instances of attempts to undermine the relationship between the children and their father and replace him with her new husband, manipulation of defendant's parenting access, utter and unfettered vilification of the defendant to the children, false reporting of sexual misconduct without any semblance of 'good faith,' and her imposition upon the children to fear her tirades and punishment if they embrace the relationship they want to have with their father."
The extraordinary hearing to determine whether Ms. R. should be held in contempt for violating the couple's stipulation of settlement began in May 2009 and stretched over 23 days of hearings over the next nine months.
During the hearing, Mr. R. testified to dozens of occasions in which his ex-wife either interfered with his visitation rights or purposefully alienated the children from him.
The judge described about a dozen such incidents or patterns in his eight-page decision.
The "crescendo" of Ms. R.'s contempt involved false accusations of sexual abuse against Mr. R., the judge wrote.
"Allegations that defendant had injured the child were found to be baseless and, by making such allegations, plaintiff needlessly subjected the child to an investigation by Child Protective Services, placing her own interests above those of the child," Ross wrote. "This report was not made in 'good faith' -- rather, the investigating agency warned the mother not to re-utilize the allegations and her children in her custodial litigation with the defendant."
In addition to the contempt finding and the temporarily stayed jail sentence, Ross ordered a hearing to consider a change of custody and to hear Mr. R.'s application for more than $134,000 in attorney fees. Those hearings were postponed pending Ms. R.'s appeal.
Stanley Hirsch, also of Garden City, represented Mr. R.
"I'm very hopeful that this case will be some type of warning to those who don't have the children's best interests at heart when they conduct themselves with their spouses," Hirsch said. "It has great significance to my client, but I think it has a terrific overall impact on people who are going through a divorce and not getting along and involving the children in their disputes."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Many groups are working hard to bring the parental Alienation issue to a forefront.
Please take a look at the link here to the efforts and progress of the Fathers and Families group.
Perhaps one day parents that conduct and practice such evil will be ordered into treatment.
Stay tuned to this blog as changes are coming!
Please take a look at the link here to the efforts and progress of the Fathers and Families group.
Perhaps one day parents that conduct and practice such evil will be ordered into treatment.
Stay tuned to this blog as changes are coming!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
What is abuse now days?
Is this word or definition being abused?
Who is suffering from the abuse of lack of parenting and discipline?
Child abuse can take several forms. The four main types are physical, sexual, psychological, and neglect.
Main article: Child neglect
Child neglect is where the responsible adult fails to provide adequately for various needs, including physical (failure to provide adequate food, clothing, or hygiene), emotional (failure to provide nurturing or affection), educational (failure to enroll a child in school), or medical (failure to medicate the child or take him or her to the doctor). I find it interesting and somewhat disturbing that no where here or below does a parents lack of discipline, family values or respect for authority mentioned. Does not abuse include the lack of biblical education. Is not the soul of a child something that needs nourished just as much as the body? Is not lack of respect for elders, teachers, coaches and adults, something that could be considered as abusive to the child upbringing if this is not supplied just as clothing should be? When the definition speaks of needs, are these not needs also?
Main article: Physical abuse
Physical abuse is physical aggression directed at a child by an adult. It can involve striking, burning, bruising, choking or shaking a child. Shaking a child can cause a condition called shaken baby syndrome, which can lead to intracranial pressure, swelling of the brain, diffuse axonal injury, and oxygen deprivation; which leads to patterns such as failure to thrive, vomiting, lethargy, seizures, bulging or tense fontanels, altered breathing, and dilated pupils. The transmission of toxins to a child through its mother (such as with fetal alcohol syndrome) can also be considered physical abuse in some jurisdictions.
Most nations with child-abuse laws consider the infliction of physical injuries or actions that place the child in obvious risk of serious injury or death to be illegal. Beyond this, there is considerable variation. The distinction between child discipline and abuse is often poorly defined. Cultural norms about what constitutes abuse vary widely: among professionals as well as the wider public, people do not agree on what behaviors constitute abuse. The definition of abuse has become very liberal, to the point of limiting parents to only rewarding good behavior, but doing nothing about poor behavior. Discipline is viewed as very controversial as defined; Child discipline is the set of rules, rewards and punishments administered to teach self control, increase desirable behaviors and decrease undesirable behaviors in children. In its most general sense, discipline refers to systematic instruction given to a disciple. To discipline thus means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct. While the purpose of child discipline is to develop and entrench desirable social habits in children, the ultimate goal is to foster sound judgement and morals so the child will develop and maintain self discipline throughout the rest of his or her life. We seem to have all the answers laid out in black and white on all the issues but discipline. We avoid any recommended ways to correct bad behavior or disrespect.
Child discipline is a topic that draws from a wide range of interested fields, such as parents, the professional practice of behavior analysis, developmental psychology, social work, and various religious perspectives. Because the values, beliefs, education, customs and cultures of people vary so widely, along with the age and temperament of the child, methods of child discipline vary widely.
In western society, there has been debate in recent years over the use of corporal punishment for children in general, and increased attention has been given to the concept of "positive parenting" where good behavior is encouraged and rewarded.
Domestic corporal punishment (also referred to as corporal punishment in the home or parental corporal punishment) typically involves the corporal punishment of a child by a parent or guardian in the home. It may involve the spanking or slapping of a child with the parent's open hand, but may sometimes be with an implement such as a belt, slipper, cane or paddle.
In many cultures, parents have historically been regarded as having the duty of disciplining their children, and the right to spank them when appropriate. However, attitudes and legislation in some countries have changed in recent years, particularly in continental Europe. Domestic corporal punishment has now (2009) been outlawed in 25 countries around the world, beginning with Sweden in 1979. Most of these 25 countries are in Europe or Latin America. One question I have, is the crime rate going up or down since corporal punishment has been outlawed? What about our comments such as divorce rates? What about spousal cheating? Are this things all on the decline since the new view of corporal punishment?
In North America, Britain and much of the rest of the English-speaking world, the practice is highly controversial. Why is that? Were your parents or grandparents abusive or a drain on society? I think history speaks for itself.
In Africa, the Middle East, and in most parts of Eastern Asia (including China, Taiwan, Japan, and Korea), corporal punishment of one's own children is lawful. In Singapore and Hong Kong, punishing one's own child with corporal punishment is legal but not particularly encouraged. Culturally, many people in the region believe a certain amount of corporal punishment for their own children is appropriate and necessary, and thus such practice is accepted by society as a whole.
Some human-service professionals claim that cultural norms that sanction physical punishment are one of the causes of child abuse, and have undertaken campaigns to redefine such norms.
The use of any kind of force against children as a disciplinary measure is illegal in 24 countries around the world. See corporal punishment in the home for more information. Interesting, what would our founding fathers have said? The formed the greatest country on earth…they relied on teachings from the bible and very strict discipline. I am sure thankful for them.
Main article: Emotional abuse
Out of all the possible forms of abuse, emotional abuse is the hardest to define. It could include name-calling, ridicule, degradation, destruction of personal belongings, torture or destruction of a pet, excessive criticism, inappropriate or excessive demands, withholding communication, and routine labeling or humiliation.
Victims of emotional abuse may react by distancing themselves from the abuser, internalizing the abusive words, or fighting back by insulting the abuser. Emotional abuse can result in abnormal or disrupted attachment disorder, a tendency for victims to blame themselves (self-blame) for the abuse, learned helplessness, and overly passive behavior.
Well, this is very hard to see a clear definition. I would contend that under this definition that all of us would be guilty and or be victims in some way. I was sure yelled at many times and I also yelled at my children at times. I think what is missing here is a large part of how abuse is perceived. LOVE, if there is no love between the two parties then I contend abuse happens quickly. With LOVE, the yelling is done in that manner, to correct a behavior of someone you love. It is not done to harm a person. To do harm to a person, is abuse. To love someone so much that you must use corporal punishment or verbal shouting to make a correction, shows the LOVE you have for them. There is no truer statement than when a parent says this before giving a spanking, “this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you”. Perhaps that is why such actions are now being turned away from. Today’s parents are selfish and can’t take the personal pain it requires to give a spanking. It’s easier to condemn such and act then face up to their responsibilities as a parent.
I grew up in a family atmosphere that most will never know. Certainly my kind of up bring would be very rare today;
I had the same Mother and Father, in the same house, together, through my whole childhood. That is love and stability that over 60% of the children today will never know. I had both my Grandfathers and Grandmothers and a Great Grandfather living within a mile of my home. Something that 95% of the children today will never know. I had 2 Uncle and Aunts, and a cousin living within 2 miles of my home at the same time. I had a Great Uncle, Aunt and 4 cousin families living within 12 miles of my home. A family so big and so close that it is unheard of today. Within 60 miles I could count over 34 close family members. My Grandfather gave the land for the school. My Great Uncle started the local bank. My Uncle taught me in school and coached the high school basketball team. Both my Mother and Father graduated from the same school where he was a 4 year letterman in 4 sports and my Mother was the head cheerleader. They were voted homecoming King and Queen. After football or basketball games, the high school principle, vise principle, teachers, coaches (3 of who gave me paddling’s at school) players and their families would gather at our house or others for coffee and to visit. I would go out on a limb here and say that does not happen at all now. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, there was always dinner at a family members house that would include at least 4 families and the Grand Parents. This would be an all day event with cards, games and sure enough, FOOD and TV football games! I was blessed in many ways with the family I was raised in!
I give you this back ground so you will understand the love that was in those friends and family members. Also to make a case that a spanking is a very good choice for discipline because, at one time or other, I was yelled and spanked by most of my love ones and I thank them for it! Most spankings or verbal discipline was while I was very young, under 12 years old (younger the better I’m sure). I learned, but as a youngster with lots of energy, I tested all of their limits a one time or other. My good friends in school (teachers/coaches and vice principle) had the love and duty to correct me (paddle my butt) 7 times in 7th grade and 11 in 8th grade. I deserved all of them! I broke the rules, but was never disrespectful to the person doing the correcting. In fact, 2 of teachers came to a surprise party for me and my sons, 25 years later. I write this so you will know that it was their love for me and my love and respect for them, that corporal punishment was given and accepted. I Loved and respected all my family members and if they had to correct me, they did so without informing my Father. They knew that it was between them and me and did not want to involve or disappoint my father. Out of respect for him, they kept our issue between us and finished with us. I have and will always respect them for that! I considered that the kindest thing they every did, and that was to treat me like a man. I had seen others that got in trouble and the office would call their parents in to pick them up and take them home. I thank God that I was loved enough to be treated with respect and to be offered a man’s option.
Why are the schools, parents and kids so much different now? Why is there not enough respect to let a young man be treated as a man?
When his is out of his parents protection, what will he do?
I thank my kindergarten teacher for hitting my hand with a ruler for writing on the desk.
I thank my 1st grade teacher for throwing an eraser at me (an hitting me) for not paying attention in her class.
I thank the teachers who I saw taking kids down to the office by their ear for not following their instructions.
I thank the teachers who had to grab a student by the neck or arm and march them down to the principal’s office to get a paddling.
I thank you because none of those students or anyone else I knew in my school had “attention disorder”. Their attention was corrected and cured!
I thank the PE teachers who let kids fight during a physical class or on the play ground without calling law enforcement.
I thank them for their judgment on how to handle the situation. (No one in my school went to jail, joined a gang or used a knife or gun in a fight. Understand that most all young men had hunting knives on their sides during school and hunting rifles were on the gun rack in their unlocked pickup truck outside, parked on school property)
I thank them all for their love of their job, students and nation.
I feel very sorry that that time has passed and we now have no control, learned respect and discipline in most of today’s children.
I must be old as dirt… a dinosaur …I relict from the past.....
1. Do you love your children enough to teach them that no, means no?
2. Do you love them enough to with hold things from them that they desperately want, yet you know they should not or are not ready to have?
3. Do you love them enough to spank them?
4. Do you love them enough to explain that life is not all ways fair?
5. Do you love them enough to yell at them, if needed to get the correct response?
6. Do you yell at the referee for a bad call on your child but say nothing when you kid gets away with a foul?
7. Would you be offended if your child was spanked at school?
8. Would you ask for the coach to be fired for yelling at your child?
9. Do you love and trust your family/friends enough to trust them with disciplining your child?
10. Do you love your child enough to let your family members and friends discipline your child if needed without question?
11. Will you be offended and upset when the officer takes your child to jail for a disorderly conduct or breaking a rule of society?
12. Do you love your children enough to make sure they have a biblical education?
13. Did you answer NO to more than 3 of these questions?
I feel very sorry for all the children and parents that never knew that love of a Father, a Mother, a Grandparent, a Uncle or Aunt, a Teacher, a Coach or of a Friend that had to yell at or spank you.
Thanks Grandma and Grandpa, and all my family and friends that spanked or yelled at me, I love you!
By Robert Franklin, Esq., Board Member, Fathers and Families
In this case, a mother's claim against her husband that he sexually molested her daughter went slightly awry. Thirteen years after the fact, a federal appellate court has upheld the verdict in his civil cause of action against her and her police officer husband. The verdict was for $14 million in compensatory damages and $1 million each in punitive damages for a total of $16 million.
Back in 1991, Ted White married Tina (whose name is now McKinley) and attempted to adopt her two children by a previous marriage. But the children's father refused to give up his parental rights, so there the issue stayed. In 1995, he had a change of heart, though, and agreed to the termination of his rights. Why the about-face? It seems that Tina had informed him that if he didn't, she'd file charges of child sexual molestation against him. Too bad Ted White didn't know that.
Because about a year later, his marriage to Tina was on the rocks and, unbeknownst to him, she was seeing another man. That man was Richard McKinley, a police officer for the Lee's Summit police department. Apparently they hatched a plan to get White out of their lives and those of the children for whom he was the adoptive parent.
Tina charged him with sexual molestation of her daughter, Jami, and who do you suppose investigated the matter for the police? That's right, Richard McKinley. And during his investigation, certain exculpatory evidence went missing. That included Jami's diary, in which the girl said she thought White was a great dad and that he was more caring about her than was her mother. After Tina leveled her charges at White, McKinley also interfered in Jami's interview with the Center for Protection and Children that's charged with interviewing children in molestation cases.
White was convicted, fled to Costa Rica, was captured and spent over five years in prison successfully appealing his conviction. First, he discovered the withheld evidence and got a new trial. That resulted in a hung jury that voted 11-1 for acquittal. On retrial, he was acquitted.
He then sued his former wife, her current husband Richard McKinley and the City of Lee's Summit. The city settled out of court and the jury found both Tina and McKinley liable to White and awarded damages. Because he was a police officer acting under color of law, the suit was for violation of White's civil rights under 28 U.S.C. Sec. 1983. (We've seen that little gem used to sue the State of California for denial of parental rights for bypassing a father and placing a child in foster care.)
White has already gotten paid by the City of Lee's Summit, although how much we don't know. Will he ever see a dime from the happy McKinley couple? I doubt it, although he may agree to be paid a few cents on the dollar. Still, it's an instructive tale. False allegations are not legal. Prosecutors aren't often interested in pursuing them in criminal court, but individuals always have the civil courts in which to try to gain some form of justice.
Visits their website (Fathers and Families) that is posted here under favorites.
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