Last blog post by Just a Dad

I wish you thank all my friends and family that have supported my writing of this blog. Many days it has been more than painful to relive the night mare of what happened to my sons and to their childhood.

Linda Clark, Pain, unbelief, and total disgust is what I have felt for my Ex Linda Clark.  In her hate for me she has robbed the children of their heritage and extended families. She is responsible for the damaged relationships with grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins. My sons children will suffer because of this loss of family. All because of her jealousy over my remarriage and her evil obsession for money. Her actions in all of this is nothing but appalling and yet I forgive her. I will not try to understand nor condone her behavior, it was and is, simple evil in all definitions of the word. Yet I have only a limited understanding of her mental condition and have to accept that, as does everyone. This condition, this issue, has been with her for a very long time and she will not change and perhaps cannot change without years of treatment and medication (she referred to them as her "happy pills"). I do not envision her getting such treatment until ordered by the court. So I can only pray for healing of everyone who has a mental health issue, or health issue of any sort.

Lani-Kai Swanhart, I have done all I can to correct your wrongs. You made a very poor and damaging ruling, that is an undeniable fact. It is documented, it is now part of your history. No one knows your heart at the time or why you would do such a thing. Why you would cover up your mistake and not even let experts present their statements in your court room, that was and is, diabolical. You are a dismal failure in your duties in the family court system in Yakima WA.  We all can only hope that through my letters and official complaints to the local, state and federal levels, that you have looked inward and made the necessary changes to prevent such an outlandish and damaging ruling (as the one you made in my case) from happening again.  You were empowered with getting the truth and and making a fair and just ruling, you failed. Something in your past made you angry and resentful of my presence in your court (cowboy hat and beautiful wife). You made a ruling that changed and severely/adversely effected the future of my sons. Your rulings and attitude has changed my family history forever and it can never be made whole again. Yet, I must forgive you.

Blain Connaughton, As a person you disgust me. As an attorney you appall me. You made up a lie in court to change the direction of a simple matter of child support modification. You used your experience as a trail lawyer to damage a family for your own profit. You sir are a court whore! Your efforts to keep the children from seeing a Dr in an attempt to reconcile their relationship with me as a father was Evil. I trust you know that one day you will have to stand for judgment for your conduct and actions. On that day, you will have an honest representative and Judge. As evil as your actions were, I forgive you and the commissioner (this is my faith and thus my duty) as well as the one person that was responsible for the whole court issue, your client, Linda Clark.

To my younger sons, Dakota and Colton who view this blog; I hope and pray that you will never know my pain. I hope and pray that you will never suffer such total devastation and pain as I have experienced over this whole issue. I have emotionally suffered the death of you my sons, my loved ones, over and over and over. I hope and pray you will never ever, understand this pain. You know your roles in this, you know the parts you played. You know the truth of the Parental Alienation that took place in your mother’s home. You know the lies your mother has told about me. You know and have seen the e-mails that I had to show you to correct the lies your mother was telling you. You heard the tape I had to play for you to prove that your mother was lying about why she signed her custody rights away, freely, under no threat and with her own admission that is was the best thing to do. You know how you both asked for that change. You both know I did not agree to your request until you both spoke to Marcia S. It was not until her report from you boys about what went on in your mother’s house; how she had no control over anyone in there. How you feared being in her house, how men were coming in and out all the time, how your mother would leave the house at night after she thought you boys were asleep to go to the bar. How Colton had asked her many times to stay home. How you both missed practices because she would not take you. Only after the cost/expense of many hours of investigating those allegations and proving them true… did  I asked your mother for the meeting to propose a change.  You also know and have seen the e-mails where I asked your mother to move back into the school district. You have seen the e-mails where I asked her time and time again to help you boys by modifying her life style while it was her week of custody. You have seen those and the ones where your mother was attacking me, threatening me and Jan. You saw those because she said I was doing this to her. I was not and had to prove it to you! (I still have the e-mails and many recordings, you are welcome to see them or hear them anytime) You saw her lies in her own words! Yet, you turned your backs on me. You believed her, you were drawn into her twisted world and made up stories about me that were untruthful and very mean. You did the same to a loving step mother. She read poems, books and the children bible to you. She held you when you cried and listened to you when you needed a friend. She took you hunting when I could not. She took you to practice when I could not. She helped you with home work. She bought programs to help with classes. She found and bought you great and safe horses for your enjoyment. She bought you snow machines for winter fun. She encouraged  us all to take vacations, horseback rides, fishing and family trips. She got us all skiing together again, because she knew how important all these things are and she made it happen for us.  She took you to California, the zoo, the beaches, movies and dinner. She taught us all about cooking and improved our manners. She was nothing less than an outstanding mother to all you boys! She never did those things to make your mother jealous, angry or to belittle her, she did them out of love for you and me! She was a mother!

You repaid her with what?

To my older sons, Josh, your love and support of everyone has been outstanding and honorable.

Kaleb have supported me at times but also attacked me over this blog when a post made your mother mad. I have to wonder, did you stand up and correct your mother in the same way when you knew I was angry? How did you feel and did you defend me when your girl friend at the time and your mother got together and drafted a court statement full of damaging lies. Lies that have hurt you, your brothers, your father and your step mother. Lies that will live with us all for the rest of our days.

I have always loved each and everyone one of my sons.

I have  loved and fought for the two youngest, more that most people can understand.

I did all I could to be a father to them, even when it hurt deeply.

I have even suffered the pain of pulling back and letting them live their lives as they see fit, in an attempt to stop the daily conflict they were experiencing.

I have, and am, suffering heart breaking anguish as I see Colton falling into a moral hell hole.

I have suffered with my health and through other relationships pains in my attempt to protect my sons futures.

I tried hard as I could to get the truth out and correct all the wrongs… it seems I worked in vain as correction can only happen with open minds.

I also have been very blessed;

I have been blessed with the unwavering support of friends and family.

I was blessed and amazed to have 3 different attorneys approach me in the Yakima county court hallways and offer their unsolicited advice and sympathy at a time when I was representing myself at multiple hearings. I was blessed with the understanding and support of the Doctor and court investigator, who interviewed my children and ex wife Linda Clark. I have been blessed with the support of the children’s ex step mother. She was publicly silent when attacked by Linda Clark and in the home with the boys. She only spoke kind words to the children about their mother and addressed the children’s questions with compassion. I am blessed that she has now come forward with documentation that supports me as a father and directly and boldly addressed the lies Linda Clark has told my sons. I am blessed to have people willing to suffer attacks on my behalf, while trying to correct lies about me in an attempt to correct my families relationships.  I am blessed that this ordeal has put me on my knees and created a new and everlasting relationship with Christ. I was blessed to be re baptized last year (by my everlasting friend, pastor and brother, Ken Larson) by full water submersion into the river waters and excepted into the church of God 7^th day.  This is how I am able to forgive those who have sinned against me. Their sins, helped save me. I pray I am able to return this blessing.

The Bible, if we all would just follow the words, the truth and the teachings in the Bible, there would be no family problems! Family problems only happen when Evil is allowed in. There are many words of direction, correction and encouragement. The bible is the manual and the church is its spokesman on earth today. There are also words which address courts, lies, evil and how to deal with such.

Zechariah 8:16-17 These are things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgments in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this declares the Lord.

(this very simple advise would have saved and kept whole, my sons childhood)

Proverbs 6 :16-19 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissention among brothers.

(no mixing of words, no wiggle room, no compromise, just straight talk)

Proverbs 10:23 A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.

(just simple advise)

Proverbs 9:8 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse

(I found this very true, in a very personal way)

Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone Evil for Evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.

(my moral up bringing is why 17 statements to the court did not attack the conduct of Linda Clark, (even when I had such documentation)  they only spoke of support for me as a father… and my sense of right and wrong is why I have never made false allegations) (Sad to say, the commissioner found this odd,,,, the one that throws the most dirt, wins in court).

Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” says the Lord.

I pray that anyone who views this blog will turn to a good study Bible for support and guidance.

This blog will remain on the internet until the internet no longer exists. For those who view the blog I hope and pray that it helps you, your situation, your children and your family is some way. I have heard it said, “one man’s pain is another man’s gain”.

There is a huge amount of information about the issue of Parental Alienation and mental illness. Search the past blogs for help with your questions.

Boys, love you all, always will!

The truth is the same, it is there, always will be!

Just a Dad

The key to release, rest, and inner freedom is not the elimination of all external difficulties. It is letting go of our pattern of reactions to those difficulties.

~Hugh Prather 

We were all very happy and the boys would have finished growing up in a stable loving home. Completing their trip to man hood as responsible young men with  good work ethics and respect for all.

Dakotas Graduation 2011

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Very Personal Reply!

(note) views in this blog are of a very personal nature, but because my sons are now at a cross roads in their lives, I must make one more attempt to get past the bombardment of lies and get a truthful understanding.  

Well, after many months of relatively no contact by my ex wife Linda, that has changed. She is back again because of a meeting I had with my son Dakota. Mentally, as pointed out in the last blog, she feels threatened by the loss of any control or influence over the boys. She has been consumed with the blogs about this case as are the boys now. Sadly enough, she has poisoned the boys minds and especially the youngest. The callousness and total disrespect for me and his step mother is a learned by product of Parental Alienation (still, he is old enough to take responsibility for his own life). Linda continues to practice, repeat and hold steadfast to lies that have apparently taken hold in the children’s minds. This is and was her goal. To that end, she has won…but the boys have lost. Linda, you are Evil for what you have done. Your history of prescriptions for your condition is documented, yet that is not a reason for what you have done. Hereditary symptoms are something that were acknowledged years ago so why to do resist treatment?  Why did you fight so hard to keep the boys from continuing to see a professional? Even in the short time you visited with Dr Newell, he pegged your illness. You cannot deny his written statement to the court. No lie or anything else can argue with this. The internet is full of examples of women like you. Although as the Doctor stated you maybe, “over the top bad”. It is a huge problem for society so I guess you can take comfort in the fact that you are not alone, there are many disturbed women out there just like you, you are not special.

As promised, I will provide my thoughts to the recent e-mails and comments below.

In the past 24 hours there have been many obscene comments left by the self proclaimed gang banger. I refuse to be drawn down to his/her level with a reply. Such a person is lost and will be found only when his/her heart changes.

Someone has posted as Donna on a blog that Jan posts. I have seen this before, if it is not directly Linda then it is Linda words. I paste the whole comment here and reply in it in Blue. I will point out how she sets up the letter, and the lies in it.

I have known Linda and her boys for several years now It starts with setting a time line  and I can honestly now has to state she is telling the truth say that she has her boys' best interest at heart Shows how she only cares for the boys, not herself. She has struggled at times making herself the victim  because she hadn't received any child support for the boys from their father A convenient lie to help support her claim as the innocent victim of a rotten ex husband, any fool can see the court child support documents. $1,852 per month is what Linda was paid. I don't know Bruce personally and cannot judge him, then how could she have know Linda and the boys for several years? however I do see the hurt and anger that his boys now have. Really,,,both boys are running around showing the hurt and anger, how can she expect anyone to believe this letter? They are all great kids and he should be very proud of them and what they've accomplished. Yep, she knows them well. Colton just barely passed this last trimester and his GPA has dropped over a full point since he moved in with his mother. His attendance (over 30 missed days this year) is public record (as it will stay with him long after school and effect his job opportunities)

Linda has wanted to provide the best home for her boys and has had to move a couple of times. So what? Man, write a letter as a make believe person to excuse your actions (bankruptcy, moving 7 times, gambling and drinking, so many cars I lost count) …amazing.  I've done the same thing in my past, that doesn't make me a bad mother or person. Ok, so now she feels better about herself because her make believe friend has done the same thing…is there any questions now?  She has always been there for me when I needed a friend. Yes Linda, you are a great person in your mind, we understand that I have never seen this angry crazy bi-polar side of her that you speak of, but again why do you care so much? Anyone that has read anything to do with this case of parental alienation knows that mental illness is a key component of this behavior.

All that matters is the relationship between the boys and their father, you are not their family and have no rights in this relationship. Hmmm, yes ma’am, so you don’t know me but can comment on what role the boys step mother should have, and per you, without knowing Jan, or much at all about the boys, find that she (Jan the ex step mother) has no right of any kind. Who did you ask for this approval? And why do you think you could speak for me???  has Step back and let them alone. Linda, even in the 3^rd person cannot help but make demands. It is her way to control the situation Someday Bruce will regret not being able to be with his boys when they were young adults. What a foolish person this is, doesn’t know me and can’t read blogs? I fought for years to save their childhood!  This is time you can replace; if you are truly ill then you should be even more willing to resolve your differences and move on Hmmm, goes from commenting on Jans blog and speaking to and about Jan, to addressing me directly, how can anyone make that jump in a conversation?  - at least until the end of your life. Ha ha, then has to point out that my life, percentage wise, will be short. Thanks for the concern Give these boys a memory they will have with them long after you are gone. Well, there it is, the complete circle. We now are back to where it all started, money! Dakota, not long ago sent me a request for money saying, that would be very “memorable”. Dang, I hate that those words and his request are such a close match in such a short time. I wish I had be wrong. Perhaps the boys will look at the photos posted here and the albums Jan and I gave them as a Christmas present. Those are great times and lasting memories that I want the boys to have. Not something like Dad bought me a car (my child support has done that many times over for Dakota already) for graduation or my 18^th B day. But, my views are much different from Linda’s and now, I guess the younger boys also. Nice try Linda, I will reply to your letter below and then be done, this seems to be a lost cause.

Below you will see Linda on her best behavior in an attempt to disprove anything negative that anyone has ever said about her. It may work it you didn’t know her, if you didn’t have a huge suitcase full of old e-mails from her. Go through the old blogs and you will see comments from some of those e-mails and yes, they are a matter of public record.

Jan I will answer your question?? for the last time.... ha ha, like all linda does is try to get along with Jan and correct the bad things she says. Sorry, I can’t help but laugh because here we go…into la la land! (really, it’s how I have learned to deal with a very sick situation)
At the last child support hearing Bruce under oath told the judge that he gave you everything in your divorce No, that is not correct but close, I didn’t have much to give in (YAKIMA COUNTY) WHICH THERE IS NO RECORD OF oh Linda stop, that’s is just plain stupid...the judge stated that he must be divorced in Yakima County and he said yes he was....LIe Lie Lie.. Linda you are sick. How anyone, even yourself can believe otherwise, Crazy? The whole world acknowledges this. Everyone but you?
and
you know that as well as he does that divorce does not exist Whew, what can you say? How do you argue with this? This is public record and yet she will openly deny it in a letter. No one needs any further proof of what I say because Linda has made my point for me and has shown what I have tried to fight for years. I think the boys believe her about this also. If they can believe a lie that is so simple to expose, is there any wonder they believe other outrageous things she has said? How would a father stand a chance against such influence? .....So HE the JUDGE put this in the final order because he found it very interesting OK, have to stop there or we would get lost. NO. he put that in the order because you protested about it so, and he wanted to appease you and move on. I had no problem with it in the order and neither did my attorney, there was no objections of adding a matter of fact in the order. that all of a sudden Bruce gave you the orchard, truck trailer Porsche which you bought for him and sat there and said I don't own anything and have no income.. and gave it all away so thre is nothing for his sons No Linda, the record is public and the judge never had any such question. Those came from you when you presented your case. You add them here and no doubt speak about this like it is a matter of fact. If someone was not there or did not have the audio record, they may believe your lies, why would they not? What sane person would lie about such a thing? Then you ad this stuff about nothing for the boys? As the court investigator said in her report after interviewing you, you are more interested in money than in the boys welfare....Keep
posting all your pictures as the two of you are together and prob sitll married Now, in just a very few sentences you went from saying there was no divorce to saying, maybe??? If you don’t know, why say anything at all? it is interesting that you continue to go to Jans websites. The last time you did that from a Government computer and presented a bunch of printed pages from it, you were fired from your job   which I don't care but quit the lying and harassing of these boys If Jan has lied about something then list them linda. Number all those lies you speak about, shut her up, defend yourself and document the truth! Show the proof of your allegations! Now you stoop so low as to accuse Jan of harassment? Just come out and say it Linda, you hate Jan, always have, end of story!...They are great young men and their dad has missed out because of YOU Yep, there it is sure enough, Jan the step mother is the problem. The PA was going on long before Jan but indeed, marrying a smart and attractive LADY, sure brought out the jealousy and anger in Linda. Linda moved out and left the boys because she wanted a new man but she sure didn’t want anyone to have her old one. He chose YOU over his own sons and now is guilty for doing so Guilty of what? You made the orchard go away like you threatened and you broke up the marriage with your PA, you should be happy, why should I be guilty of anything other than being naive about the effect of Parental Alienation at the time. ....You yourself made terrible accusations against Dakota NO LINDA, NO ALIGATIONS, the TRUTH and that is DOCUMENTED with the interview in the commissioner chambers. You are sick to deny this, evil in your attempt to lie about the truth and doing a great disservice to Dakota and put cameras in your house.. You are a sick women
and point that finger at yourself Wow, incredible and disgusting
and look in the mirror...Hmmm how many times have you been married??? your a black widow spider that takes what she can and moves on to the next victim Man, you go Linda, hissssssssssss..The stress that Bruce talks about is from you and your games Hmmm, I never said that, hmmm, not at all. Yet Linda has no problem putting words in my mouth... Leave us all alone and get a life besides posting all this on the internet Did you see the last Blog I posted from a different site? It also talks about how the crazy ex will speak about the children and her being one and the same with them. Linda sure backs that one up here.........
The judge knew Bruce was lying O-my word, so now the judge knows I was lying but did nothing about it, how unbelievable and crazy is this???so that was put in the final order which gave me the opportunity to open the case back up if I wanted too...If linda really believed what she says, she would have done so in a heartbeat! It is easy to trot on down to the court house and see if someone is married. But no, Linda has no documentation of any of the accusations she makes, it’s just her words, she likes them, they sound good to her, and she repeats them out loud like they are the truth. Mind you, she does so without guilt or remorse, in her mind, she believes her own words.   Leave us all alone and move on with your LIFE.. .....Again, mother and children are still attached
Bruce is the one who had the attorney and I did not so quit blaming all this on me...What is this all about and where did that come from? I didn't write the order the judge did So, he wrote it as you asked, You wanted the opportunity to go after Jans income for child support if you could. He granted that to you. Jan just pointed out that YOU where wanting to get child support money from Jan ....STOP THE HARRASSMENT man, again with the word you love to use when the truth is presented. Truth = Harassment in Linda’s mind.... Do yourselves a favor and stop What favor would it be to cover up the truth? So the boys could not hear the truth and investigate for themselves? All the boys need is to ask themselves questions. If they wish for the truth then it is easy to see. If they don’t, then that is again their choice, but at least they will have a choice.  ...as the good christians you say you are your actions are a DISCRACE to those who really are..Interesting attack, but not something that I need to judge. The boys and anyone else can form an opinion about this pretty quickly REMEMBER 2012 IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER...If you had nothing to hide this wouldn't bother you so terribly bad Well, that is twisted! Where did it come from? Did I miss something in Jans blog about her being upset about the end of the world? Maybe it was me??? Well, I am concerned about the state of the world but not at the second coming of Christ. I know that will happen and it will be a day to rejoice in! hmmm, no one will be able to hide anything then, no body, not for any reason ...Deducate your lives to good things and not bad Attempting to save or repair a relationship with my sons by providing the truth is a good thing. An effort to educate others about the EVILS of Parental Alienation is a good thing. Trying to make changes in the family court system and hold officials and lawyers responsible for their wrong actions is a good thing. Trying to expose the abuse of children by this system and make correcting changes, is a good thing. Many people are fighting this same fight for the same reasons I am. I thank Jan for caring enough about the boys to put aside the attacks from you, the make believe friends and the little gang banger and continue to make FACTUAL posts.... All these blogs only put a wedge between those boys and their father further and further If the truth does that then so be it. If they are afraid of you and afraid of the truth, then nothing will change. If they are so intertwined and dependent on you at this time, then a truthful conversation is impossible. If they can’t handle the truth now, then I will wait until they grow up. I will always be here and I will always be inside them, I will always be their Dad, you can’t take that away, I have the photos and lasting memories   and that's exactly what you want...Bruce will bash Colton for his grades Bash Colton??? Gosh…unbelievable, now Colton’s poor grades and lousy attendance in school is somehow, something I want to use against Colton? Does anyone not hear those words in her house? Over and over and over…Every day? Can anyone deny the Doctors charges of Parental Alienation?  .. He has struggled because of abandonment from his father... Yes that's right abandonment...Now it is my fault, should have known that! I will not take the time here, because I could go on for hours. Really, I think I have, read the archived blogs, it is all there. I don’t think I need to tell anyone what I think of Lindas charges, just read the blogs. Well, then, really, after you finish this letter you will have the idea It has been since Aug of 2009 almost 2 years since he chose not to see Colton anymore Over and over, she will tell him this over and over, every day, day after day, That is why I call Linda sick, twisted and evil, That is why the BLOG, EVILS OF PA....and Bruce finally met with Dakota who is 18 now and hadn't seen him in almost a year and a half...so don't blame me..Nope, we all understand now, linda is never to blame, linda is good, daddy is bad, got it.  you two are the aleinators and have caused your own issues...Yep, there it is, the truth is out of the bag now! Jan or me or Jan and me have alienated the boys from???Linda or ourselves??? Is that Parental Alienation, if you turn your children against yourself? Hmmm, that would be dumb. Then, wholly cow, to make it worse, you spend money on court investigations, attorneys, Doctors ect, grind your teeth to nubs and stress out to the point of losing your health….just to make sure the kids really don’t like you…hmmm, all makes sense now I bet you don't post this one as it contains the truth... and you know it Yes linda, your facts and documentations are just overwhelming! .......so Misssy move on There you go Jan, just move on, Linda has spoken!...... I will not waste my time responding to anymore of your garbage GREAT NEWS! I am so glad that linda will not be wasting time on yours or my blog anymore. I bet that means she will stop the boys, Donna and the gang banger also huh.. I have a great life and have better things to do then post nasty things about people... Nasty things? The thing that is nasty is what Linda Kay Clark did to the family, childhood, religious upbringing, relationships and future of my Sons! Nasty and Evil.

Boys, you do what you wish. Look at the truth, and live your life with your heads up high. Work hard, play hard and enjoy life. If you wish a relationship, the door is open, the phone number is the same and the e-mail has not changed, yet. 

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Shrink for Men, repost

 I have visited the website below and found its information amazing! These Doctors have really cut to the core and exposed PA in and very straight forward way. I will highlight the parts that hit home for me about my ex. If you have remarried, pay real close attention to what I highlighted in red. I wish education and training like this was mandatory in order to get a divorce! Perhaps it would save a new marriage and surly benefit children's futures!

Just to many crazy (Evil) ex wives out there, and then you have the lawyers and judges (court system as a whole) who profit from them at the expense of the children...

Does your Wife or Ex-Wife Have a Golden Uterus Complex? 15 Characteristics of the Golden Uterus

Written by Dr Tara J. Palmatier on May 17, 2011 - 25 Comments
Categories: Abuse, Accountability, Blame, Custody, Divorce, Financial Abuse, High-Conflict, Parental Alienation, Personality Disorders, Professional Victims, Psychological Abuse, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships

Are you frustrated with your wife or ex-wife’s attitude of “I AM THE MOTHER; YOU ARE IRRELEVANT” when it comes to raising your shared children? Does she have an over-inflated sense of self because she’s a mother? Does she believe the mere act of giving birth entitles her to special privileges and gives her absolute, unilateral power over you and the children? If so, your wife/ex-wife/mother of your children may be a golden uterus (GU) and suffer from golden uterus complex (GUC).
Golden uterus may seem like a snide term. It is. In some ways, the term is a backlash against a certain kind of woman/mother who believes she is the end-all-be-all just because she procreated, or rather, just because she procreated with you before anyone else had children with you.
You see, GUs only revere their own uteruses and motherhood. They’re dismissive of other mothers and their children; especially if they’re second or third wives. They take pride in the fact that they were the first wives; while ignoring the reality that they were such bad wives that their husbands divorced them.
Golden uteruses, despite the sense of superiority and entitlement they derive from the title “mother,” are typically lousy parents if not downright abusive parents. GUs are often the high-conflict, abusive personality-disordered parental alienators. They are the women who expect others, including their own children, to sacrifice everything at the altars they erect to themselves. Golden uteruses lay golden eggs (children) and milk their motherhood, the children and you for all you’re worth.
Here are some characteristics of the golden uterus mom:
1. GU and child are one and the same. The golden uterus child isn’t allowed to have his or her own feelings and opinions. If mommy is sad, then child must be sad. If mommy is mad, then child must be mad. If mommy hates daddy and his new wife; then child must hate daddy and his new wife. If mommy has been “wronged;” then child has been wronged.
The golden uterus believes that her best interests and the child’s best interests are synonymous. There is no “you” and “I.” The golden uterus and child are “we.” It’s a crippling symbiosis for the child in that the golden uterus feeds off of her own child to feel important, powerful and special.
2. GU and child are a two-fer. If you want to have your child in your life after you separate or divorce, the GU believes she’s a part of some twisted package deal. A golden uterus doesn’t understand (or refuses to acknowledge) that you can love  and have an independent relationship with the children without her in the middle of it. GUs will try to impose themselves into your individual relationships with the children and any new romantic relationships. However, if GU dates and remarries, it’s none of your damn business.
The GU is allowed to move on with her life. You’re expected to remain on ice, poised to mobilize whenever she demands something. When the GU child wants or needs something, you’re expected to drop everything to do the GU’s child’s bidding.
3. Disobedience is abuse to the golden uterus. If the children, father/husband/ex-husband doesn’t heed her demands, the GU perceives it as abuse. If you don’t parent the same way the GU parents (or mis-parents); you’re a bad parent. If you challenge the GU’s decisions, she’ll punish you by denying you access to the kids or taking you to court. “A GU believes that because she gave birth, she has exclusive rights to all decision-making related to said child, no matter what anyone else (including the courts or the father) say” (anonymous source).
This applies to the children, too. If they disobey mom or have the temerity to have their own feelings and opinions (you know, what childhood experts call healthy childhood development) that differ from the GU’s feelings and opinions, it’s an act of high treason. There are consequences for this. The children of GUs learn very early in life what side their bread is buttered. This is what makes PAS possible.
4. GU exceptionalism. Even though humans have been procreating since human history began, the GU believes her pregnancy and childbirth are the most special pregnancy and childbirth ever. Most women will tell you that their pregnancy and the birth of their child was one of the most special events in their lives. They don’t expect it to be the most special event in everyone else’s lives.
Furthermore, should you remarry and have children with your new wife, the GU believes that she and the child(ren) you share with her should take precedence over your current relationship and any new offspring. The GU believes she should always come first and, by association with her, the child you share.
For example, let’s say the child you share is an adult, but you’re still obligated to pay your ex, an adult, spousal support. You  remarry and have a child with a medical issue. The GU believes her spousal support should be your first priority instead of paying for the second child’s medical expenses. Twistedly enough, many family courts would support this pathological entitlement and adult dependency. As a retired judge-mediator recently told one of my clients during his divorce settlement: “You have two children. One is 16 and the other is 54 and you’re responsible for both of them because you choose to live in a patriarchal state.” This was a female judge, by the way.
5. Boundaries are for everyone else; boundaries don’t apply to the GU. No boundaries. Bupkis. You must respect the GU’s boundaries, but you’re not allowed to have any boundaries. If you have healthy boundaries, the GU will accuse you of being controlling, withholding, abusive, unresponsive and, naturally, a bad dad.
6. All other child caregivers are irrelevant. Fathers are walking ATMs. A father’s role is to financially and emotionally support the mother (i.e., be her emotional punching bag/doormat and listen to her complain about how hard it is to be a mother). That’s it. Fathers get no real input into how the children are raised.
Step-mothers are less than non-entities. They are to act as servants to the children during visitation and are less than handmaidens to the golden uterus. Step-mothers/girlfriends are intruders and are treated as such. Extended paternal family members are to act as a subservient support system to the GU, that is, if she allows them to have any access to the kids. Extended paternal family members are also expected to side with the GU over their own flesh and blood and to dispense cash for the GU’s children’s “needs.”
7. Once you have sex with a GU, she owns you for life. The golden uterus believes that if she gave birth to your children, you are “connected for life.” She should always come first (even if you’ve both remarried) and YOU OWE HER until death you do part.
This also applies to the children. GUs wield guilt over their children with staggering virtuosity. “I am your mother. I carried you for 9 months. No one will ever love you like I do. No one will ever break our bond. No one will ever come between us. I CARRIED you in my WOMB for NINE months. YOU can NEVER do that for me.”
When the children become adults, the GU still believes she should come first in her adult children’s lives and take precedence over their spouses and children. A GU’s children owe her because she is their mother. This is just so sick and twisted. Unlike an ex-husband who can break free of this death grip; many GU kids are indoctrinated into the GU’s warped belief system and it’s extremely difficult for them to break free. If they reject the GU’s distorted belief system and abuses, they’re treated like public enemy number one and may even be disowned by the GU, which wouldn’t necessarily be such a bad thing. Nevertheless, it’s terrifying for many children and adult children to contemplate.
This is a perversion of parenthood. These are often the women who get pregnant so that they’ll have “someone who’ll love [me] unconditionally.” They fail to understand that it’s the parent who’s supposed to meet the child’s love and safety needs and not the other way around.
8. GUs like to take kissy duck face make-out photos with their children. Facebook addicted GUs like to post kissy-duck face-make-out photos with their child(ren). It’s rather like manic, digital age pietas. “Look at meeee and my child who loves meeee! See! We’re so close we’re more like best friennnnnds!” Boundaries, shmoundaries.
These photos are similar in nature to the photos drunken college girls take of themselves with their arms wrapped around each other and their faces pressed together. Whenever I see a photo of a mother with her child in a lip lock-bear hug with a Joker smile, I think: ENMESHED GU.
9. Golden uterus mothers are feeeeeeelers. The golden uterus believes that her emotions are reason enough for any action, no matter how despicable. In fact, the GU’s feelings often trump what’s really in the child’s best interests.
For example, “I’m angry with your father” means the children are denied access to their father. Cutting the other parent out of a child’s life is rarely in the child’s best interests. However, the GU is feeeeeeling angry, wronged, ignored, disrespected, challenged, etc., so that becomes her justification to attack and/or punish others—even if her actions violate a court order.
10. Once the GU gives birth, her “job” is done. “GUs believe that simply birthing a child is all they’re responsible for as a contribution to the parenting, raising and welfare of their child. From the moment the child emerges from her hallowed trough, it is solely on the father to provide all for both her and the child” (anonymous source).
Once a GU gives birth, she has her own little foot soldier to weaponize and use as a control device over the child’s father and family. This is when many of these women choose not to return to work. By giving birth, the GU essentially has her husband over a barrel. She knows it and she uses it.
11. Children are possessions; not their own persons. “The GU views the child as her possession. The GU will take all the kudos for birthing a child, but none of the responsibility. If someone tries to point out the discrepancies, the GU will will heave out emotional garbage to cover up their horrible parenting. The GU only views the child in context to herself.  Everything is about her” (anonymous source).
12. The GU uses motherhood as an excuse. “Becoming a ‘mother’ is the GU’s excuse for EVERYTHING. She can’t work because ‘mothers don’t work.’ My husband HAS to give her all of his money because she’s the mother of his ONLY child. She lost all identity as a woman and used becoming a mother as her free ride in life” (anonymous source).
Even after their children are in school full-time, GUs still use the kids and being a mother as an excuse not to work outside the home and often not to work inside the home. “You have no idea how stressful it is being a mom.” Um, the kids are in school all day. What do you do with your time? “You always minimize all the hard work I do. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.” Um, the breakfast dishes are still in the sink when I get home from work in the evening. The laundry is piled up and the kids haven’t done their homework. What did you do all day? “HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME. I’m THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN!”
13. GUs are self-appointed parenting experts. Despite the fact that her parenting behaviors should be used as an example in  How NOT to Parent 101, “the golden uterus believes that having birthed a child makes them better and more knowledgeable than others; e.g., the “Well you don’t have kids so how would you know anything?” woman (anonymous source). If you should dare challenge the GU’s parenting skills and superior authority, see number 3 above.
14. Motherhood is a title and a power trip. “The golden uterus views mothering as a title rather than a relationship and a set of behaviors. Mothering requires selflessness at times. It requires sacrifice at times. It requires paying attention to the child and putting your time and energy into meeting their needs, which also requires seeing the child as a unique and separate individual from yourself, not a mirror of your own thoughts, feelings, and needs. A golden uterus mother fails at mothering and instead uses her title to extort things from others ‘in the name of the child.’ Essentially, they use their offspring as a way to get their own needs met” (anonymous source).
15. The GU is never wrong. “The golden uterus seems to expect that they get a total free pass on accountability for their own behavior. I have often told my husband that his ex lives on a one way street paved in double standards. Her own bad behavior is to be overlooked. Yet she will attempt to crucify him for any and all perceived weaknesses or ‘failures.’ She is judge and jury and quick to condemn my husband (and me, for that matter) yet she can do no wrong” (anonymous source).
What can you do if the mother of your children has a golden uterus complex?
There’s nothing you can do to change her. Nothing. She’s highly unlikely to see the light and morph into a reasonable human being and good mother. Your goal, as with all high-conflict abusive types, should be containment. You accomplish containment through establishing iron-clad boundaries. Learn to say no and then practice deafening your ears to the caterwauling.
Don’t let her use your children as an extortion mechanism. Don’t allow the children to view you as a human ATM machine. In other words, don’t reward your children’s bad behavior with money, gifts, trips and other goodies, otherwise, they will view you the same way that their mother does. I know many fathers are desperate for time with their children and use toys and expensive entertainment as bait. Trust me, this is not the relationship you want with your children. It’s a quick path to time with them, but it’s an unhealthy and impermanent one.
Decide exactly how much bad behavior you’re willing to to tolerate from your ex and what offenses you want to pursue in court. Forget about co-parenting with a GU; it’s next to impossible. You will be less frustrated if you try to parallel parent. A GU will undermine you at nearly every turn. Expect it and plan for it.
Don’t put your current wife/girlfriend in the middle and don’t tolerate your ex or your children disrespecting her. Demand respect for yourself and your loved ones. If your ex and the kids violate these boundaries, find appropriate consequences for their violations.
Finally, don’t drink the golden uterus’ kool-aid. The fact that you once had a relationship with her/share a child does not bind you together for life. Just because she wants this to be the truth doesn’t make it so. Just because your ex has chosen to define herself by a failed relationship and 36 hours in a delivery room doesn’t mean you have to do the same. GUs are legends in their own minds and their own worst enemies. Minimize contact and try to foster healthy boundaries, values and senses of self in your children during the time you have them and hope it sticks.
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.

Gang bangers and Parental Alienation

It seems the conversation here has turned to my gang banger comments. So let me get that out of the way because it is only one consequence of PAS. Gangs, drugs, poor manners and neglect are an appalling result of poor parenting. Kids do not grow up dreaming of smoking pot, doing drugs, stealing and prostituting themselves.  The need they develop is out of a basic need for love and belonging, for a family atmosphere, and they get that in the organization of the so called gang clans. Understand that these kids are not only looking for love but they are very weak minded and easy to influence because of their damaged mental state. There can be no doubt but that Parental Alienation is Evil. It destroys and forever alters the way a child’s mind develops. There will always be children that are lacking the spirit within them, and they will rebel and stray away from the truth. Efforts to enlighten them, help them and guide them will be resisted (perhaps resented) because they lack strength, they lack the inter strength and character for what ever reason and PA is just one of many issues effecting their minds.

 I have known gangs, known gang members have protected some in my past because as tough of an image they try to portray, when the rubber hits the road, 99.9 % of them are just cowards inside. Their smack talk becomes cries for help when they are confronted. They run for safety of men or women that they know are honorable people. They do so because they know these people will stand up when they cannot. It is the fact that responsible citizens standing for the truth and confronting the mindless pack of dogs, is what keeps our society intact. When confronted publicly, 4-5 cowards will walk away from one virtuous man or woman. Yet even cowardly, homeless dogs find strength in a pack and that is what a gang is. It is only a force when it has a large following. Gutless, spineless and pathetic animals will gravitate towards each other in an effort to cover for each of their weakness. In a pack or gang, it takes a lot of warm bodies in an attempt to fill such a void.  

Where animals do not have a parent for long, most  children are different. There are cases where kids don’t know their father and their mother is a whore and drug addict. For those, only God and can help them through his church on earth.

This brings me to the core of the problem with our world, we have pushed God out.

Children are not born with moral values and concepts, they learn them at home and in the church.

 Ephesians 4 -14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blow here and there by wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love.  

Infants, contrast to maturity. Teaching, then as now, there are many distorted teachings. Deceitful scheming, not innocently misguided but deliberately deceitful and evil.

We all need God and Jesus Christ in our life to survive! There would be no PA, there would be no gangs, there would be no family crises of any kind if the family (the father as the leader and the mother as his companion and supporter) would follow the simple teachings in the bible. It is there for anyone at any time to read. Many  good study bibles are easier to read and understand. Churches have information pamphlets available and bible study class before the regular services. To attend such classes that discuss family issues is a great way to stay on the correct path with your children. The support you can get from your church members and those of all ages and experiences who attend your class, is invaluable!  BUT, to be successful, you must attend as a family! Mother and Father united and directed by what they learn in the church. Children need to be educated in Sabbath class, to the words and teachings of Jesus Christ.

I thought it fitting to include the two quotes below.

"It should be your care, therefore, and mine, to elevate the minds of our children and exalt their courage; to accelerate and animate their industry and activity; to excite in them an habitual contempt of meanness, abhorrence of injustice and inhumanity, and an ambition to excel in every capacity, faculty, and virtue. If we suffer their minds to grovel and creep in infancy, they will grovel all their lives." --John Adams, Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law, 1756

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

The result and consequences of (Evils of Parental Alienation).

Below is an un-published comment left on Jans site” http://www.secondhandwife.blogspot.com/”  She sent me the comment because of its content and language. She made it very clear that this type of language and threats were not going to be posted as a comment on her blog. I feel 99.9% sure it was left by my youngest son Colton. Therefore I will address it as such and point to the life changes that can take place when a parent or parents practice “Parental Alienation” on their children.

This will be a long blog and will be very enlightening as to the tragic effects of PA. I encourage everyone to read it and forward it to anyone you care about because if this has not happened in your family, it has or will affect people you know and love.

Because of the language and threats please view the comment in red below with caution.  No one deserves to be attack in such a manner for any reason. Jan (Colton’s step mother) was nothing but a loving and supporting step mother to all my sons. I thank Jan for that and for her continued efforts to present the truth in hopes of bettering my family relationships in the future. Truth is the only way to confront anger and education the only way to address ignorance.

It is my responsibility to address my sons actions and words below in an attempt to correct him and help others who must deal with the evils of parental alienation. I do so to impede this destructive path he is on, and with God’s help, save his future. I and others can only try. It is his heart that has to be open. He must let go of the pain, blame and anger. He must confront himself with not only the truth, but how he wants his life to proceed. It is a huge undertaking for a young man (14 years old at this writing) and he will have to be strong in order to apologize to himself for his words, anger and self destructive views. Colton can chose to live a life of torment and disappointment or to change and become a Man. A man who takes responsibility for his own life and desires to have a full and happy life with good relationships with all his family members. A happy productive and full life is not beyond his reach. Such a goal and desire is within all of us. We all chose our own path. “For me and my house, we will follow the Lord”

 Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Definitions of Parental Alienation (The Mother wil...":

Noooo life is what you have, you noob, wannabe blogger, u BK random (BK-bad kid) 1v1 me if u think your good or sumtin foo, u aint got shit on me holmes no way brah, i live my life a quater of a mile at a time, for those 10 secondss or less im free. CHEERS BITCH. or CUnt or slut or whore or watever the fuck u r. did u like that little ryhme cuz if u give me some time ill get u a dime and u can shove it where the sun dont shine. -ME not u, not someone u copy, and just for the record for all that read this just know u r reading somthing not worth ur time only this fake ass hoe and u just wasted time reading this than being with ur familia aka family or maybe u already knew wat that ment so i laugh at u and dispise u as a living being and scorn u for wasting good oxygen by breathing in this beautiful earth that will be still heere for centuries to come and would love it if u didnt breath its oxygen. thank you and goodnight asta laveesta bitch would love to see wat u no lifes have to comment back cuz i am a walking nightmare and u sure dont wanna fuk wit me u white ass cracker/redneck hoe bag. Peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It is hard for me to see the transformation in my son. I believe he is at an all time low in his life and that is very sad. He should be enjoying school, friends and family, not writing  trash like a little gang banger. I loathe those gang banger types and that is a character weakness in me. Everyone that knows me understands my position. I consider gang bangers to be just small minded scared children that have no direction in life. They make up words and use foul language in an effort to display how tough they think they are. In reality, they are losers in life. Children that for whatever reason have no love or compassion and feel just the opposite of what they try to portray, they are scared of  life. They are lost and find comfort in companionship with those who are in the same frame of mind. Often this happens in homes that are devoid of love and discipline. Still, as much as their parents are at fault, it is the child that has the ultimate and final say as to who they will associate with and whom they will look up to as role models. There are many more good examples to follow then there are poor examples. All of these kids know people like older brothers/sisters, teachers, church members, athletes and stand up citizens in the community that they can get support from. The choice is theirs as to whom to follow.  The problem lies in the fact that when kids feel wronged, they will chose a relationship or action that they know, will hurt the parent they are angry or disappointed with. The end result of such a path, only hurts the child and adversely effects their future. As the saying goes, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” For me…to waste a child is just terrible.

The language used in the comment is not that of a son I raised. Threats of any kind by a child is not acceptable and a threat by a young man to a lady is inexcusable. Such threats demonstrates a childlike/bullying action, fitting of a weak minded gang banger. Whoever wrote the comment has a trouble soul indeed. The good news is, a soul desires to be good and live a happy full life. The spirit is always with a hurting soul, the true and enjoyable spirit is steadfast, one only has to ask for help and seek redemption.  

During a meeting with the commissioner, she referred to the boys as well mannered, (in my full custody at the time) polite and well spoken. What a huge change in 2 short years while in the custody of a mother that preaches hate for their step mother and their father. Coltons grades dropped from a 3.56 gpa with excellent attendance, to so far this year, 30 days absent, 20 more tardy times and a gpa of 2.4 This happened in the time he has been with his mother. This is not love for a child! Children need guild lines to keep them safe and to show them that their parent or parents love them enough to do the tough job of being a responsible parent. This is the type of love a gang banger child is missing, missing and begging for!

A child does not make the type of conversion you see unfolding here on his or her own. As the photos below (and in many places in this blog) will prove, Colton had a very loving home (with Jan and I) and experienced many family functions. Ones that I believe he is missing now and that void is being filled with anger and rebellion. This is seen in his school work, his language, manners an alleged pot use.  This child is crying out for discipline and a direction in life. 

An alienating parent very seldom has a structured home. His or her goal revolves around anger and revenge for some perceived wrong by their ex. In my case Linda left me and the boys for a party life style and another man. This is not all that uncommon and cheating on your spouse  happens much to often. Sometimes this indiscretion can be overcome and the marriage and family can survive. I was used to fund the adventure and asked to lie to the children as to why their mother was not home. I regret that, as a lie is never good, even if the intention was. I wanted to spare the children the truth and did so until now. But still, they knew what happened because their mother had a boy friend next door to the house I helped her buy. I understand that they became engaged shortly after but I don’t know that for a fact. I do know that she had many boyfriends in and out, spending the night and even left the children alone while she went out on dates. I know because she sent me e-mails bragging about “young men standing in line”. Many people saw her out on the town, partying and gambling until all her money was gone. She lost her many cars, her house and filed for bankruptcy protection. Indeed while I and Jan were at dinner with friends, Linda was playing pool in the next room while the boys were in her care, at home, alone.  Information from Cowichee now is that her married boyfriends divorce was final…and so is her relationship with him now. Go figure. According to what was placed on face book, her priority is dating and not family. I think this has hurt Colton very much. As mean as she had been to him while he lived with Jan and I, (denying him sport practices, ranch vacations and threatening to abandon on the side of the road) he still craved the love of his mother. I think he has been disappointed in the outcome and believes he has lost the love of his father and family members also. This insecurity is understandable under the circumstances. Yet the door opens or closes both ways. Colton is old enough and smart enough (even if his grades do not reflect that now) to digest the truth. He does not need to resent his mother for her actions or behavior or let her actions diminish his love for her, but he need to understand that his anger toward Jan and I is very misplaced. It does not matter that he was told how I was abusive and Jan somehow aggravated his mother, the truth is inside him, perhaps hidden at the moment but still, IT IS IN HIM. It is in your child also. At some point your child will see the truth and understand what really happened. The hard part is...will they be strong enough to make an effort to restore the relationship or not. 

Reconciliation does not have to come in a form of apology.It only needs honest actions of love on everyones part. 

 After looking at all the photos above, do you think they were taken by an abusive father or uncaring step mother? Can you see all the activities that are for the boys? All the healthy out door events and get togethers? All the family times? All the travels and fun that is part of a family growing together? We loved each other and it shows in everyone of these photos!

Let no one say other wise!

ps...I don't see a gang banger in any of them.

Below is a must read. The bible is full of advise for fathers and families. Without His guidance, there is no family. Read this and then the explanations below and perhaps we all will come to a better understanding of a fathers role.

Just a Dad....

For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever,.... That is, bring his judgments upon them, which should continue on them to their utter destruction; this, as to the substance, he said before by the man of God:

for the iniquity which he knoweth; for the iniquity of his sons, which he thoroughly informed of, and fully acquainted with by others; and somewhat of which he must have been sensible of, and seen with his own eyes, and therefore was inexcusable:

because his sons made themselves vile; mean and contemptible in the sight of men, abhorred and accursed in the sight of God, by taking the flesh of the sacrifices of the people, which did not belong to them, who came to sacrifice, and by debauching the women that came to the door of the tabernacle for religious service. It is said this clause was originally written, "because his sons made light of me"; or cursed the Lord, and is one of the eighteen places called the correction of the Scribes, who corrected it as we have it; and it may be observed, the Septuagint version is, "because his sons spake ill of God"; or cursed him; however, this they did, they preferred their lusts, and the indulging of them, to the honour and glory of God: this Eli knew:

and he restrained them not; from their evil practices; he did not make use of his authority, neither as a father, and especially not as high priest, and the judge of Israel, who ought not only to have sharply reproved them, which he did not, but to have censured or punished them, and turned them out of their office: "or did not frown upon them" (t), as in the margin of our Bibles; he did not knit his brows, or wrinkle up his face, and by his countenance show his displeasure at their proceedings, but in an easy, smooth, gentle manner, expostulated with them about them.

3:13 Restrained them not - He contented himself with a cold reproof, and did not punish, and effectually restrain them. They who can, and do not restrain others from sin, make themselves partakers of the guilt. Those in authority will have a great deal to answer for, if the sword they bear be not a terror to evil - doers.

---

King James Translators' Notes

For I...: or, And I will tell him

vile: or, accursed

restrained...: Heb. frowned not upon them

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Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary

3:11-18 What a great deal of guilt and corruption is there in us, concerning which we may say, It is the iniquity which our own heart knoweth; we are conscious to ourselves of it! Those who do not restrain the sins of others, when it is in their power to do it, make themselves partakers of the guilt, and will be charged as joining in it. In his remarkable answer to this awful sentence, Eli acknowledged that the Lord had a right to do as he saw good, being assured that he would do nothing wrong. The meekness, patience, and humility contained in those words, show that he was truly repentant; he accepted the punishment of his sin.

<< 1 Samuel 3:13 >>

New International Version (©1984) For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them. New Living Translation (©2007) I have warned him that judgment is coming upon his family forever, because his sons are blaspheming God and he hasn't disciplined them. English Standard Version (©2001) And I declare to him that I am about to punish his house forever, for the iniquity that he knew, because his sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. New American Standard Bible (©1995) "For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them. GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995) I told him that I would hand down a permanent judgment against his household because he knew about his sons' sin-that they were cursing God-but he didn't try to stop them. King James Bible For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. American King James Version For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knows; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. American Standard Version For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons did bring a curse upon themselves, and he restrained them not. Bible in Basic English And you are to say to him that I will send punishment on his family for ever, for the sin which he had knowledge of; because his sons have been cursing God and he had no control over them. Douay-Rheims Bible For I have foretold unto him, that I will judge his house for ever, for iniquity, because he knew that his sons did wickedly, and did not chastise them. Darby Bible Translation For I have declared to him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he hath known: because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. English Revised Version For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons did bring a curse upon themselves, and he restrained them not. Webster's Bible Translation For I have told him, that I will judge his house for ever, for the iniquity which he knoweth: because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. World English Bible For I have told him that I will judge his house forever, for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves, and he didn't restrain them. Young's Literal Translation and I have declared to him that I am judging his house -- to the age, for the iniquity which he hath known, for his sons are making themselves vile, and he hath not restrained them, Barnes' Notes on the Bible Made themselves vile - Rather, "have cursed themselves," i. e. brought curses upon themselves. He restrained them not - In the sense of punishing. He did not remove them from their office, which he ought to have done. Clarke's Commentary on the Bible I will judge his house for ever - I will continue to execute judgments upon it till it is destroyed. His sons made themselves vile - See 1 Samuel 2:12-17, 1 Samuel 2:22-25. He restrained them not - He did not use his parental and juridical authority to curb them, and prevent the disorders which they committed. See at the conclusion of the chapter, 1 Samuel 3:21 (note).