Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Last blog post by Just a Dad
I wish you thank all my friends and family that have supported my writing of this blog. Many days it has been more than painful to relive the night mare of what happened to my sons and to their childhood.
Linda Clark, Pain, unbelief, and total disgust is what I have felt for my Ex Linda Clark. In her hate for me she has robbed the children of their heritage and extended families. She is responsible for the damaged relationships with grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins. My sons children will suffer because of this loss of family. All because of her jealousy over my remarriage and her evil obsession for money. Her actions in all of this is nothing but appalling and yet I forgive her. I will not try to understand nor condone her behavior, it was and is, simple evil in all definitions of the word. Yet I have only a limited understanding of her mental condition and have to accept that, as does everyone. This condition, this issue, has been with her for a very long time and she will not change and perhaps cannot change without years of treatment and medication (she referred to them as her "happy pills"). I do not envision her getting such treatment until ordered by the court. So I can only pray for healing of everyone who has a mental health issue, or health issue of any sort.
Lani-Kai Swanhart, I have done all I can to correct your wrongs. You made a very poor and damaging ruling, that is an undeniable fact. It is documented, it is now part of your history. No one knows your heart at the time or why you would do such a thing. Why you would cover up your mistake and not even let experts present their statements in your court room, that was and is, diabolical. You are a dismal failure in your duties in the family court system in Yakima WA. We all can only hope that through my letters and official complaints to the local, state and federal levels, that you have looked inward and made the necessary changes to prevent such an outlandish and damaging ruling (as the one you made in my case) from happening again. You were empowered with getting the truth and and making a fair and just ruling, you failed. Something in your past made you angry and resentful of my presence in your court (cowboy hat and beautiful wife). You made a ruling that changed and severely/adversely effected the future of my sons. Your rulings and attitude has changed my family history forever and it can never be made whole again. Yet, I must forgive you.
Blain Connaughton, As a person you disgust me. As an attorney you appall me. You made up a lie in court to change the direction of a simple matter of child support modification. You used your experience as a trail lawyer to damage a family for your own profit. You sir are a court whore! Your efforts to keep the children from seeing a Dr in an attempt to reconcile their relationship with me as a father was Evil. I trust you know that one day you will have to stand for judgment for your conduct and actions. On that day, you will have an honest representative and Judge. As evil as your actions were, I forgive you and the commissioner (this is my faith and thus my duty) as well as the one person that was responsible for the whole court issue, your client, Linda Clark.
To my younger sons, Dakota and Colton who view this blog; I hope and pray that you will never know my pain. I hope and pray that you will never suffer such total devastation and pain as I have experienced over this whole issue. I have emotionally suffered the death of you my sons, my loved ones, over and over and over. I hope and pray you will never ever, understand this pain. You know your roles in this, you know the parts you played. You know the truth of the Parental Alienation that took place in your mother’s home. You know the lies your mother has told about me. You know and have seen the e-mails that I had to show you to correct the lies your mother was telling you. You heard the tape I had to play for you to prove that your mother was lying about why she signed her custody rights away, freely, under no threat and with her own admission that is was the best thing to do. You know how you both asked for that change. You both know I did not agree to your request until you both spoke to Marcia S. It was not until her report from you boys about what went on in your mother’s house; how she had no control over anyone in there. How you feared being in her house, how men were coming in and out all the time, how your mother would leave the house at night after she thought you boys were asleep to go to the bar. How Colton had asked her many times to stay home. How you both missed practices because she would not take you. Only after the cost/expense of many hours of investigating those allegations and proving them true… did I asked your mother for the meeting to propose a change. You also know and have seen the e-mails where I asked your mother to move back into the school district. You have seen the e-mails where I asked her time and time again to help you boys by modifying her life style while it was her week of custody. You have seen those and the ones where your mother was attacking me, threatening me and Jan. You saw those because she said I was doing this to her. I was not and had to prove it to you! (I still have the e-mails and many recordings, you are welcome to see them or hear them anytime) You saw her lies in her own words! Yet, you turned your backs on me. You believed her, you were drawn into her twisted world and made up stories about me that were untruthful and very mean. You did the same to a loving step mother. She read poems, books and the children bible to you. She held you when you cried and listened to you when you needed a friend. She took you hunting when I could not. She took you to practice when I could not. She helped you with home work. She bought programs to help with classes. She found and bought you great and safe horses for your enjoyment. She bought you snow machines for winter fun. She encouraged us all to take vacations, horseback rides, fishing and family trips. She got us all skiing together again, because she knew how important all these things are and she made it happen for us. She took you to California, the zoo, the beaches, movies and dinner. She taught us all about cooking and improved our manners. She was nothing less than an outstanding mother to all you boys! She never did those things to make your mother jealous, angry or to belittle her, she did them out of love for you and me! She was a mother!
You repaid her with what?
To my older sons, Josh, your love and support of everyone has been outstanding and honorable.
Kaleb have supported me at times but also attacked me over this blog when a post made your mother mad. I have to wonder, did you stand up and correct your mother in the same way when you knew I was angry? How did you feel and did you defend me when your girl friend at the time and your mother got together and drafted a court statement full of damaging lies. Lies that have hurt you, your brothers, your father and your step mother. Lies that will live with us all for the rest of our days.
I have always loved each and everyone one of my sons.
I have loved and fought for the two youngest, more that most people can understand.
I did all I could to be a father to them, even when it hurt deeply.
I have even suffered the pain of pulling back and letting them live their lives as they see fit, in an attempt to stop the daily conflict they were experiencing.
I have, and am, suffering heart breaking anguish as I see Colton falling into a moral hell hole.
I have suffered with my health and through other relationships pains in my attempt to protect my sons futures.
I tried hard as I could to get the truth out and correct all the wrongs… it seems I worked in vain as correction can only happen with open minds.
I also have been very blessed;
I have been blessed with the unwavering support of friends and family.
I was blessed and amazed to have 3 different attorneys approach me in the Yakima county court hallways and offer their unsolicited advice and sympathy at a time when I was representing myself at multiple hearings. I was blessed with the understanding and support of the Doctor and court investigator, who interviewed my children and ex wife Linda Clark. I have been blessed with the support of the children’s ex step mother. She was publicly silent when attacked by Linda Clark and in the home with the boys. She only spoke kind words to the children about their mother and addressed the children’s questions with compassion. I am blessed that she has now come forward with documentation that supports me as a father and directly and boldly addressed the lies Linda Clark has told my sons. I am blessed to have people willing to suffer attacks on my behalf, while trying to correct lies about me in an attempt to correct my families relationships. I am blessed that this ordeal has put me on my knees and created a new and everlasting relationship with Christ. I was blessed to be re baptized last year (by my everlasting friend, pastor and brother, Ken Larson) by full water submersion into the river waters and excepted into the church of God 7th day. This is how I am able to forgive those who have sinned against me. Their sins, helped save me. I pray I am able to return this blessing.
The Bible, if we all would just follow the words, the truth and the teachings in the Bible, there would be no family problems! Family problems only happen when Evil is allowed in. There are many words of direction, correction and encouragement. The bible is the manual and the church is its spokesman on earth today. There are also words which address courts, lies, evil and how to deal with such.
Zechariah 8:16-17 These are things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgments in your courts; do not plot evil against your neighbor, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this declares the Lord.
(this very simple advise would have saved and kept whole, my sons childhood)
Proverbs 6 :16-19 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissention among brothers.
(no mixing of words, no wiggle room, no compromise, just straight talk)
Proverbs 10:23 A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.
(just simple advise)
Proverbs 9:8 Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse
(I found this very true, in a very personal way)
Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone Evil for Evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
(my moral up bringing is why 17 statements to the court did not attack the conduct of Linda Clark, (even when I had such documentation) they only spoke of support for me as a father… and my sense of right and wrong is why I have never made false allegations) (Sad to say, the commissioner found this odd,,,, the one that throws the most dirt, wins in court).
Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay” says the Lord.
I pray that anyone who views this blog will turn to a good study Bible for support and guidance.
This blog will remain on the internet until the internet no longer exists. For those who view the blog I hope and pray that it helps you, your situation, your children and your family is some way. I have heard it said, “one man’s pain is another man’s gain”.
There is a huge amount of information about the issue of Parental Alienation and mental illness. Search the past blogs for help with your questions.
Boys, love you all, always will!
The truth is the same, it is there, always will be!
Just a Dad
The key to release, rest, and inner freedom is not the elimination of all external difficulties. It is letting go of our pattern of reactions to those difficulties.~Hugh Prather
We were all very happy and the boys would have finished growing up in a stable loving home. Completing their trip to man hood as responsible young men with good work ethics and respect for all.
Dakotas Graduation 2011