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Thursday, January 21, 2010

3 quick answers

Many people have been e-mailing me with questions about my cancer, how I’m dealing with my sons and the alienation and sending me stories of their own.

1st my cancer;
The stress of this type of nightmare is beyond peoples comprehension that have not experienced it. I have to deal with the stress of getting cancer at a young age and yet that is nothing compared to the stress, pain and heart break of having your sons minds stolen. I would lay down my life for anyone of my sons at any time but I will not die because of lies.

I have cried most every day of this past year. I have laid awake at night, not being able to get the hurtful words and lies out of my head. I have thoughts of this evil many times a day and cannot believe what has happened and how it happened. When this stress resulted in cancer, I was, in all honesty…at the end of my rope. I started hearing the song in my head about sky diving. Then I received a letter from my oldest son about his feelings toward me. He said I was and had always been his hero, that “you have been the toughest man i have ever met and you are my superman”. I had very good friends go out of their way to help me, to take me to lunch, to call with support, to write with advise and to help me find treatment with my cancer. I have had prayers from many friends and family members. Well, that kind of love can change your outlook.

I have decided to do a very radical diet change to try and slow down the cancer until I can receive radiation treatment, 5 times a week for 8-10 weeks. Please wish me luck.

2nd, how I’m dealing with my 2 alienated sons;
When this nightmare 1st started I made an appointment with the best child psychologist I could find. My ex wife Linda and her attorney was able to stop those appointments for several months. Then after 8 sessions and I agreed to sigh over the boys bank accounts to Linda (which they spent within days, great responsible mother that she is) Linda found a way with a new lie to stop any treatment with Dr. Robert Newell. At any rate, he advise to me had been to see the boys on a limited bases and to do just fun things, so I followed his advice. I had argued that doing so was just the same as me conducting alienation because I would now be the parent that only gave “ice cream and cookies”. He said this is the best way to help the boys over come my ex wife’s negative comments and brain washing about me. I followed his advise, progress was being made and then Linda stopped the treatment when she got what she was asking for, money. They have not been back and any attempt to have them return has been stopped by the court. That is a whole other story and will be told here. This is what I have decided to do. I love my sons, I love them even with all the pain they have caused me and I love them even though I know that the stress of this whole ordeal has cost me dearly in my health and relationship with Jan. For the boys, I have to be a father, I have to me a caring Dad that tries to instill good values and morals in my sons. I do not think that following a couple hour visit every other week can do that. I have to stand up and be a father. After the counseling sessions ended, I was at a loss. I decided that the best thing to do was leave the boys alone because every time I saw them it gave Linda a new reason for the 50 questions and a chance to again tell the boys what I rotten guy I am. I did not want that, I wanted the boys to rest and be happy with where they were and my hope was that they would relax and become more friendly to me. Didn’t happen and yet as all the documentation suggests about this Parental alienation issue, a good result, rarely happens. (hell if you do, hell if you don’t”.

My sons need to understand their involvement in this whole thing. My sons have to be held accountable also, they knew better and yet the temptation of “candy” from their mother, clouded their views. They have done very terrible things, said very terrible things, attacked me and attacked Jan. To forget and to forgive such actions without repentances is wrong. It sends the wrong message. It would say it’s ok to lie and attack people and family in order to profit by getting what they are promised for doing those things. They must apologize and ask for forgiveness from Jan first and then from me. At that time then I will again make an effort for my sons.
For me…I have to save myself. I must reduce the stress in my life and get away from the evil that is killing me, I must.

Please add your comments below. Click on comments and send a note, your experience or your advice.



  1. I am so sorry for you. I can not believe what has happened my friend.
    Your boys will understand in time. I'm sure they love you, they just have to keep their crazy mother happy.
    Hang in there, you will win them back because the truth is with you, God is with you.
    Perhaps he is useing you for some greater good that you can not see right in him!

  2. Thank you for your kind words.
    I do hope that the pain of this nightmare is for a greater good.
    I do know that it has brought me closer to God and that is a blessing.
    Please pray for my sons and their future, thank you.

  3. Bruce we are so sorry for what has happend to your family. We've watched things being done and said for about as long as you've lived here. Keep going to church, live a Godly life and find happiness, you cannot control your sons or x-wife's shamefull behaviour. We know the real Bruce Clark and we all know the "Rest of the Story". Get Well Soon!