This defense system worked well for them as children and, as adults in a stressful situation, we see it escalate again. You can hear them on the phone and in the grand stands. Anytime they have a chance you will hear them bad mouthing other people, coaches and players because their kid is being treated unfairly in some way. They won’t take the time to help their children increase their skills or better their game or study in class, because it is much quicker and easier to verbally assault the perceived offender. “Joey gets good grades because he is the teacher’s pet” “Marcy thinks she owns the team, that is why my Lynn doesn’t get to play” “Jeff is just too hard on the players, my son doesn’t like him and that is why Joe doesn’t get much playing time”.
It happens all the time and then you add in the big (D) and the person with a personality disorder, loses all self control and reasoning. They forget about what is good for the children and are consumed with their own image.
Remarry and the mentally ill person, perceives this as the last insult. Remarry to someone that your ex spouse is jealous of and you better be ready for war! They cannot see anything but their own rejection and that notion consumes them. Because they have such low regard for themselves, they will feel very threatened. (my friends like her more than me) (my kids like him more than me)(everyone thinks she is so pretty and they look so happy together) (sure, he takes them places but he doesn’t have to work like me). On and on and bla, bla, bla. In women, you will see them gain weight in an effort to comfort themselves with food or drink. They will dye their hair and put on fake tans in order to combat their own image of an inadequate body type.
Now the fight for the love of the children is in full swing and so is the Parental Alienation! I have no words of wisdom on how to stop this. It may be inevitable is most cases. The presents of close family members seems to be the try that holds the PA person at bay. Their own parents and relatives will see their attempt for what it is and for the most part, will step in to confront the untruths. But, separate the family by distance and all bets are off. The it becomes a matter of choosing sides and offering support.
More about jealousy, hate and root of all evil, money, in the next blog!
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