How to legally destroy a child and family. Lani-Kai Swanhart

You need to start with a commissioner that has the opinion that all men are abusive, women beaters and child molesters. Then add a documented liar of an Attorney Blain Connaughton. More about him later.

Lani-Kai Swanhart of the Yakima county family court system in Yakima Washington is as bad as they come. If you get in front of her, may God help you because there are no winners in her court, only losers.

Rule 1. Do not show up with a cowboy hat in your hand and a clean appearance. This seems to upset her.

Rule 2. Do not show up married to a very physically attractive woman. This also upset her, perhaps she suffers from a less then high regard of herself appearance.

Rule 3. Do not show up if your ex-wife is still un married or is accompanied by a female friend. Swanhart seems to want the approval of other less than attractive females.

The most important rule? If your situation is similar to the one above, file a complaint at your 1^st appearance and hope your case gets transferred. You cannot win in her court no matter what your attorney says. You will lose and your children will suffer from her rulings. GET OUT OF HER COURT!

My battle with this commissioner is over. Yes it was a battle, she stole my two young sons from me. She would not consider or allow to be heard, evidence that was contrary to herself imposed view. Documentation from officials, doctors and school board members was dismissed because it went against her preconceived notions. All the documentation was there then and is posted on this blog many times. The result of this case destroyed a family, 4 sons, 4 brothers and 1 loving father who developed cancer, caused by the stress of trying to defend his sons childhood and lives. Destroyed the relationship between brothers. Destroyed a father son relationship in two cases and destroyed a young man’s childhood youth and  future. Before this abomination made her ruling, my youngest son was happy, well liked by others, respectful, a joy to be around and good in school. 3.56 gpa before Swanhart stole him from me. Now 2 years later he is failing in school, his attendance is a major issue and reports are being sent that his is unruly and disrespectful nature in class is jeopardizing his education. He will not even speak to his old friends because they are my friends. All these actions would be an apparent consequence by anyone who knew his mother. The statements and evidence was there for Swanhart. Linda Clarks actions in her court room (see areas of this site) were just a precursor to what she would teach her children. That is no respect, no rules, no discipline, no consequences and teach hate towards a father who instructed them in such things.

Why this Swanhart is allowed her position is beyond me.

One day she will be judged and only then it seems will there be a reckoning for her.

What can love and respect do?

A child is a parents greatest gift from God...

If you have ever watched a video, watch this one.

If you have ever been hurt by your child, understand that only God and a willing heart can mend the pain.

Remember all the best, cut lose the rest and learn to live like you were dying.

Enjoy this video!

With the help of two fathers

Cancer, PA and getting TOUGH

To my Dog, Thanks

1. When you face a setback, think of it as a defining moment that will lead to a future accomplishment.
2. When you encounter adversity, remember, the best don’t just face adversity; they embrace it, knowing it’s not a dead end but a detour to something greater and better.
3. When you face negative people, know that the key to life is to stay positive in the face of negativity, not in the absence of it. After all, everyone will have to overcome negativity to define themselves and create their success.
4. When you face the naysayer’s, remember the people who believed in you and spoke positive words to you.
5. When you face critics, remember to tune them out and focus only on being the best you can be.
6. When you wake up in the morning, take a morning walk of gratitude and prayer. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.
7. When you fear, trust. Let your faith be greater than your doubt.
8. When you fail, find the lesson in it, and then recall a time when you have succeeded.
9. When you head into battle, visualize success.
10. When you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future, instead focus your energy on the present moment. The now is where your power is the greatest.
11. When you want to complain, instead identify a solution.
12. When your own self-doubt crowds your mind, weed it and replace it with positive thoughts and positive self-talk.
13. When you feel distracted, focus on your breathing, observe your surroundings, clear your mind, and get into The Zone. The Zone is not a random event. It can be created.
14. When you feel all is impossible, know that with God all things are possible.
15. When you feel alone, think of all the people who have helped you along the way and who love and support you now.
16. When you feel lost, pray for guidance.
17. When you are tired and drained, remember to never, never, never give up. Finish Strong in everything you do.
18. When you feel like you can’t do it, know that you can do all things through Him who gives you strength.
19. When you feel like your situation is beyond your control, pray and surrender. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.
20. When you’re in a high-pressure situation and the game is on the line, and everyone is watching you, remember to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Life is short; you only live once. You have nothing to lose. Seize the moment.

Good stuff above! Have a Great Weekend!

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Children need to Honor their Parents!

Honoring Your Parents

By Bishop Keith Butler
This week's topic: Generational Blessings

What is the promise that comes along with honoring your father and mother? It will be well with you, and you will live long on the earth. The Amplified translation of Ephesians 6:1-2 says it this way: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord [as his representatives], for this is just and right. Honor (esteem, and value as precious) your father and mother…”
He did not say to honor them if they were right. Nor did it say to honor, esteem, and value your parents if they were perfect. God said, honor, esteem and value as precious your father and your mother. This is the first commandment with a promise.

To honor your parents is to love them. And God’s love is unconditional. The kind of love He expects us to exhibit as His children, as believers, is unconditional love even if we had parents who were terrible. Why is this? It is for your own preservation. Verse 3 says, “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” In other words, your prosperity in the earth is tied to how you treat your parents.

When your parents need help, and when they get old, they should not be thrown away like an old shoe in case they get in the way of your life. This is one reason why God expects you not to get into debt. When your parents get old you should be willing to assist them. The Bible said, as a man sows that shall he also reap. You do not know, if Jesus tarries, that you will be old one day and you may need assistance from your children.

People wonder why they do what the Bible says, and do not get the blessing. It is because they have not accepted all of the Bible. They picked up certain portions they wanted to pick up. They liked the mo ney cometh part, but not the take care of the parents’ part. You have to accept all of God’s word.

If you will live godly, God will bless your seed and your seed’s seed. It says to honor your parents. Obey your parents. If you are a young person, it does not matter whether or not mama understands, do what she tells you to do. Do what your parents tell you to do and honor them, and you will live long and see good days on the earth.

Scripture Of The Day: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother"  - Ephesians 6:1-2 (KJV)

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Cancer, Stress,PAS and Life

People are still e-mailing and asking me about my cancer and what is happening with the boys.


Well, right now my cancer treatment is on hold because I do not have the funds available for the radiation treatment and my insurance will not pay for it.

I have been paying an extreme amount for child support and this has me in financial hole. So I have been changing my diet,(lost 20 pounds, didn't think I had that to lose :),  reducing my stress level and doing natural remedies.

The boys?

Well, I really only have contact with my oldest son Josh.
Kalebs girl friend has not liked me since the day we met, and as a live in girlfriend…Kaleb does not call me. No call from Dakota about my treatment or condition or how I am feeling. I try not to think about this much because if I dwell on the issue it does raise my stress level and that may end up killing me.

Colton, well he is 13 years old now. His school grade point average has dropped a full percentage point from the time he left me and went to his mothers. The report cards show him being disruptive in class and just the other day I received and e-mail from a teacher reporting that he had to take Colton out of the class to speak with him. Colton has a face book site where he talks about drinking, sex, uses foul language and tells his friend that I, his Dad, “is a piece of shit”. So, that is not going so well. I got a call from Jan and that she had a message from Colton on face book. The subject was (IRS) and there was no message. I checked mine and it was the same.

So, Colton has never contacted me about my cancer and when he does send a message it is a threat of “IRS”. It must be over the child support issue. But a threat is just that, a threat against his father with cancer who can’t afford treatment right now. One question is for you all that read this, did Colton send that message or his mother? Why would a 13 year old be so upset about child support that he would make threats to his father and ex step mother? If he sent the message, has he lost all of his humanity and now hate and evil consume him? Or did his mother use his site to send the message? And if she did, what does that say about her mental state in light of what the Doctor and court investigator reported?

Anyway, I am doing my best to live happy and forget the pain of the past. I am involved with others, and I hope and pray that my experience will help them in some way.

My friend sent me these 5 things and the last one made me cry. Wouldn’t it be great if all of us and our children would follow these examples?

Five lessons about the way we treat people


1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student And had breezed through the questions until I read the last one.

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the Cleaning woman several times. She was tall, Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your careers, You will meet many people. All are significant.. They Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello.."

I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m.., an older African American Woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a Giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read:

"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my Clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient...

"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.

"I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the

King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away". Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

"Work like you don't need the money,

love like you've never been hurt,

and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

I thank God everyday for his blessings in my life;

Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest.


~ Mark Twain

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13, NLT)

God allows us to make our own choices in life. He also made us so that we know right from wrong. Choose wisely … your future depends on the choices you make every single day!




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Below is a letter from my oldest son in November of 2009 after finding out about my cancer and situation.
I count my blessings every day for this kind of understanding and love.

Dad,

Know that i will always love you and that you have been my hero ever since i could remember.

Its too bad things turned out the way they did between everyone, the situation seemed to escalate when i took off and didnt keep the balance anymore. The way it is now is really not fair to anyone involved and i believe you did the right thing in the actions you took and the way you handled yourself in front of the boys.

I will always consider Jan a friend and hope the best for her. Its too bad to see the house up for sale, especially after you and Jan made it so nice. I had a lot of good memories there, but you got to do what you got to do, and your right its probably not much of a home anymore.

I believe i found my best friend in Kaity and have a very optimistic future for us both. I did not know what a big hole i had in my life untill i started dating her and thank God everyday for how things have worked out.

As for you and your situation, you have been the toughest man i have ever met and you are my superman. Im sure you will get through this fine and you will always have my support and prayers.

As far as roping, hunting, and fishing is concerned you know were i live and im always ready to go! : )

Love you and talk to you soon ...

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#4 Is alienation a mental illness or just evil?

Well, the argument is it’s both!

In the case of my ex wife Linda Clark, she in fact was put on medication for depression and anti anxiety. She referred to them as her happy pills. So it is documented that she suffered from a mental illness where she was unable to leave the house, and her mother would have to go with her to the grocery store that was only a mile away. So, again, in this case mental illness had to play a part.

Evil? Let me tell you what has happened in the past couple of weeks and you tell me what you think with your e-mails and comments.

As you all know I have cancer. I have kept this fact from my two alienated sons for a reason, I know their mother. I could not bear to think about what she would say to them when she learned the news. (how I got what I deserved in the end, how I’m probably making this whole thing up to get sympathy, or perhaps I’m saying this in an attempt to reduce child support payments.) I didn’t what to deal with that stress. But, sometimes it is unavoidable. My mother, who I dearly love, called and spoke with Dakota on or after his B day. In the conversation she asked him how I was doing and must have said something about my cancer. Well Dakota did not know anything and so I’m sure Mom told him what was going on. That was fine, that was ok.

But what happened next was EVIL. Linda made a call back to my mother and chewed her out for upsetting Dakota. This type of crazy behavior is what Linda has always done. You would think that a normal person would have some compassion for mother whose son has cancer. Not Linda, 1st thing she did was to call her sons Grandmother back and tell her how to never say anything to upset HER sons again. She went on to disturb my 75 year old mother very much during her phone rampage. Is this Evil? Is this a mental condition? I think it’s both. They go hand in hand when you have a person like Linda making a phone call like this. There can be no doubt but what she is alienating Dakota and Colton from anyone in my family. She wants them to have no contact with anyone but her. Linda is very insecure and feels a relationship the boys have with any other family members or friends of mine, is a direct threat to her position with the boys. She will do whatever it takes to protect those boys from the truth. That means to stop and cut off all contact with anyone that knows the truth about what has gone on. This is apparent and even documented. The boys would not enter the church services that we used to attend together because “of the people in there”. That was a comment they made to me because I had support from church members. No one there said one bad word about their mother in any statements. That was not asked for nor offered. Unlike Linda, descent people do not go around running down or making negative comments about other people. The boys, by court order, where not to see any documents, statements or have their parents ,making comments about the court issues. Well, Linda has never been very good at following sound advice. She “knows better” she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to and will not have someone telling HER what she can or cannot do, she will show them. This is the reason she fought so hard to keep the boys from seeing the Doctor.

Evil? After hearing that I have cancer, Linda called Colton’s Orthodontist.

I have paid for all my sons braces with no help from Linda. In her defense, I never asked. Yet though the documented lies she has told and the negative, brainwashing influence, Linda has stopped me from having contact with my sons. She has (with the help of a corrupt attorney) are extorting almost $1,900 a month from me in child support. Yet with that much income coming from me for those boys, she refuses to even finish paying for Colton’s braces, It would be only a small portion of the childsupport, $130 a month. Yet She called the dentist and told him to send me the bill that is now 90 days past due. I will pay the bill, because if Linda will not show any responsibility, then again, I have to pick up where she fails. What bothers me about this is what I can hear her telling the boys (your father is to cheap to pay for your braces. He wants me to pay for them. He only cares about himself and doesn’t give a rip about you boys, his own sons) Yes, I know she has made those kind of comments, she has a history of it and her behavior has be reinforced and emboldened by the court, she will not change.

So the result is, I pay over $2,000 a month for two sons that will not even call me when hearing that I have cancer.

Linda can’t seem to spend that money on her sons but again, she is back out on the town, drinking and gambling. But now, she has money to take her married boyfriend with her.

Evil? Yes, without a doubt. Sick, yes without a doubt.

As the Doctor told the court investigator, “it’s one of the worse cases I have ever seen. Over the top BAD”

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Just a little joke about the court system

It seems many people are reading this blog and I thank you. Thank you for your concern about my health and the future of my sons, it means a lot to me.

Today I just wanted to lighten up, so I hope you enjoy this quick joke. Problem is, it really is not a joke and it’s a reminder of my court experiences. Lies told there are not challenged and it seems this is the focus of a hearing. The judge wants to hear the worst story you can come up with and that is the one that wins. In my case, I didn’t attack my ex wife and I did not lie. I could not believe the lies that were told about me by Linda and her Attorney. Stay tuned and you will see the lies they got away with, all under the penalty of perjury

The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?” “I do.”
Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”

#3 Is alienation a mental illness or just evil?

I feel very sad for the dads that don't get a call, letter or card from their sons/kids on their birthday.

How does something like that happen?

Below is a letter from October 2005. This is 4 years before Linda was able to completely steal the boys minds.

You will see how I fail in this whole thing and that is by trying to be a co-parent. By thinking that my ex and I were on the same page as how to parent the kids. I was a fool due to my lack of understanding about parental alienation. I did all the wrong things in the letter below, I tried to explain my actions, I tried to explain how her actions effect the children and both were a mistake on my part.

As you can see in Lindas reply, it only makes her angry, she become defensive and then starts on the attack. She attacks Jan, attacks me, threatens court and to even move the boys from their school and all the time she blames me. She goes away from discussing the kids and into a theme about Linda, it all turns to Linda and how well she is doing without me. This in turn leads her to escalating the PA and bad mouthing me in front of the kids.

This letter started out from a issue at my oldest sons football game. Linda had the boys this week and so my wife Jan and I were sitting in the stands. The JH Principal brought Colton up to me and he was very upset. He asked me if I was Colton father and I said yes I was. He informed me to watch my kids and not let them run wild at the game. That he had told Colton to stay off the playing field behind the stands twice. Now I needed to control him. I said ok and thank you. I told Colton (then 8 years old) to sit down and he informed me that is was not my week and that he didn’t have to do anything I said! So…I pulled him up, grabbed him by the nap of his neck and marched him down to his mother and told her what happened. Linda then attacked me and said I was abusive and again that it was not my week. (All this while my other son Dakota watched and he even said that I had nothing to say, it was not my week.) She even called to local police man over because of this. I told him what happened and he said it’s your kid, you can spank him if you want. At this point I just walked away and return to my seat, embarrassed for what had just taking place.

In Lindas reply in this letter look carefully on how she makes me out the bad guy while claiming to be the victim. Explianing how she is going so well and yet filed bankrupcey because she spent all the money I gave her on houses, gambling and fast cars.You ask yourself, was she, is she mentally stable?

________________________________________

From: Yakimaclark@aol.com [mailto:Yakimaclark@aol.com]

Sent: Saturday, October 08, 2005 8:26 AM

To: bclark@acamerica.com

Subject: Re: Boys



Great E-mail!!!. I do tell the boys to respect their father and adults. [Bruce Clark] that is untrue. Colton just told the principle and me last night that he doesn’t have to. I think the boys are rebelling because of your household being a military camp, with camera's etc. [Bruce Clark] You are the one that brings that up and it was very eye opening when they felt they were being watched even if I was not in the house. It seems if I’m not in front of them they have no accountability. I was at the game about 7:05 7:10 at the latest.[Bruce Clark] well that is still late when you are suppose to have the boys and according to them I have no say in what they do when it’s your week. [Bruce Clark] If that is true then you better be responsible enough to get to the game on time. Perhaps this is why the boys are late getting to school I left the game when it was over.[Bruce Clark] Did you see Josh and Kaleb after the game? I was there, didn’t see you I told Dakota to tell you before the game was over that they were going home with me.[Bruce Clark] he had told me that before when I took him to the game. He came up to say he was leaving and to say good bye. Today I'm picking up corsages and shirts. [Bruce Clark] that is part of being a parent Kaleb is afraid of you to ask for help.[Bruce Clark] why would he ask me? He is with you this week. If it were my week I’d make sure arrangements were made. (before I finished this he called and asked me to take his girlfriend home after the dance) It thought it would be easier. I told him to talk to you about his plans for homecoming. [Bruce Clark] I told you what he told me As far as my plans I asked a week in advance about this weekend.[Bruce Clark] and I told you we had plans to move stuff from OR. You made your plans before I even knew or tried to change ours Last year I had them for homecoming and took care of everything. [Bruce Clark] that is what I would have done also You agreed to take the boys until you found out that it was home coming and you didn't have their help to help you and Jan.[Bruce Clark] wrong again, but you always seem to get a dig in about how hard the boys work around me. I said that would work until I found out about the dance that was Saturday night and not Friday after the game. We would have taken them all to the ranch and yes they would have had to help load stuff but we also planned to do some hunting and fishing there. That all changed because you bought tickets and told me you made plans and would be gone Saturday night. So I had to change my plans again. I'm sorry it screwed up your plans. [Bruce Clark] Why do you say that if you thought is was ok with me?I have taken the boys in the past for plans that you have had and you know it. [Bruce Clark] My plans are work, I have meetings that I can’t control. I have never put my personal life ahead of the boys. When they are here, we make plans around them and for them I have driven them to school and picked them up in the past also and you know it.[Bruce Clark] you don’t understand, you think once in awhile is a huge deal for you. You have Josh doing all the running around and driving for you. Don't blame this all on me,[Bruce Clark] Your attitude towards me and Jan and disciplining the kids is your fault it's very hard for the boys to deal with a new stepmom and all your rules.[Bruce Clark] See? All those rules. Your attitude is against rules in our house. You use that and try to make the boys believe that it’s extreme to have rules and be expected to follow them I don't condone their behavior, I try.[Bruce Clark] your actions do. You say one thing and then do another. They never know where you stand so when you say something it goes in one ear and out the other If it's such a burden on you I will make sure they get to school and catch the bus but I guess It'll have to be in my school dist.[Bruce Clark] It not a burden so don’t put words into my mouth. You need to make sure the are up in time to get to school I do get the boys up and make sure they have breakfast, homework and papers filled out that they need. [Bruce Clark] That is not correct, Colton had breakfast here this last week As far as bed time with all the sports practices by the time they get to my house to eat and do homework, etc., sometimes it is late when they go to bed. [Bruce Clark] Colton has his homework done here before he leaves. They all should be down to your house by 6:30 and half an hour gets the work done. I do try I know you don't believe that.[Bruce Clark] I know that is false. You may believe you work at it but when the boys are watching TV until late at night, that has nothing to do with sports, homework or dinner. It has everything to do with you having no guidelines or control over them What is your solution to this??[Bruce Clark] For you to become a parent that has their best interest in mind and not one of appeasement. True love sets goals, standards, rules and it takes love to stick to them I think Jan is having a hard time dealing with four boys. [Bruce Clark] Jan is not your concern, I do think you have a hard time with Jan Your Mom told me last yr that Jan had mentioned that she has raised her kids and doesn't want to raise anymore,[Bruce Clark] Do I need to call mom and ask her about this? but she didn't plan on falling in love with a man with four kids.[Bruce Clark] That may be very true, but she did and she does love the boys or she would have a (I don’t care attitude towards them) and not one of caring about how they eat and how the respect each other Show a little love for them. [Bruce Clark] Love is not letting them stay up late. It has everything to do with caring about them and giving them guidelines that will help them develop into the great young men they can become I gave them cell phones so they could get in touch with someone if needed esp with the sports schedule that they all have. They are not to be used to gab on......I would gladly trade that the boys are in my school dist and around my area [Bruce Clark] you chose to move further away from their school not closer, that was your choice and see how things would go if they had to commute from your house to here. Think about it.[Bruce Clark] I have. The thought that you would disrupt their school arrangements so as to make it easier on you, shows that you don’t care about what is best for the boys but what is easiest for Linda. The boys have grown up in this school district and have their friends here. They have done well in school for the most part. For you to threaten to move them to a city school is very alarming to me. You could have moved closer to the boys school to make it easier on them but to didn’t, that wasn’t a priority when looking at location. I have a job that I have to be at daily, I don't work out of the house and not have a set time schedule like you or Jan.[Bruce Clark] have no idea what you are leading to with that. I think the boys are starting to stand up to all this,[Bruce Clark] standing up to what? They are just confused about how to conduct themselves because the week they go to your house they have no one to answer to they hate this arrangement. [Bruce Clark] what are you saying? Let the children decide what is best for them? What kind of parent is that? Ask the boys what they would like to do to resolve this.[Bruce Clark] are you asking me if the boys would rather have rules and be accountable for their behavior or to run free with no rules? Ask them if they would rather eat vegetables with their meals or just have pizza. Ask them if they want chores to do or if they would rather watch TV? They are children I’m sure they would rather stay up all night and watch TV instead of having a set bed time that doesn’t allow them to stay up and watch late night programs Sorry it's not a perfect world. I have never told the boys that they didn't have to answer to you during my week.[Bruce Clark] then why would Colton and Dakota tell me other wise? That's false they are told to respect us, but on the other hand you proved to the whole community last night the true person that you are. [Bruce Clark] That I care about their behavior? You lost control and you don't like that.[Bruce Clark] How in the world did I lose control. I scolded Colton and then took him to his mother so we could discuss what happened. I was the one that told him he could not use us against each other that way even if I didn’t believe it. I provide a united front for the boys and you again under minded it Several people saw you loose your temper so don't blame this on me. [Bruce Clark] No one saw me lose my temper. Anyone could see me disciplining my son for a very disrespectful act that you seem to keep avoiding. Such an action should be dealt with immediately and that is what I did. You were not there. Other people had no idea what may have happened but it was clear Colton was in trouble for something. Yes Colton was very disrespectful [Bruce Clark] Colton would not have said something like that without hearing from you and no I didn't hug him and condone his behavior. [Bruce Clark] You did give him a hug, I saw it I did talk with him and Dakota about this incident. [Bruce Clark] And what did you say? What kind of discipline did they receive for doing things they knew they were not suppose to be doing and what did you do about the disrespect Colton showed toward the principle? What action or punishment did they receive? So No don't make me to be the bad guy. [Bruce Clark] No you are not the bad guy, you do nothing and that is just very very wrong I told you I would talk with you later, because in the past I'm not getting in a fight with you in public. [Bruce Clark] Why would you fight with me there? What did I do that was wrong? Remember you asked me awhile back not to do that.[Bruce Clark] Yes because of they way you act when I tell the boys to sit down. I did that last year at a football game when mom was here and you told me they were with you and I didn’t need to tell them anything

As far as a distrain for school for me. I graduated and have made a good life for myself so don't give me that crap.[Bruce Clark] what you have done with your life has nothing to do with how you think about authority or how you expect the boys to act. Many people have seen how you react, it’s never the child’s fault Your not perfect, [Bruce Clark] never said I was and what makes you better then me.[Bruce Clark] Nothing unless you are talking about parenting You can't stand it that I've done so well.[Bruce Clark] were does that come from, why would you think that and what bearing does it have here or with the boys? I have a nice house good job and a new car and you don't like that I've done this myself.[Bruce Clark] why would you think that or bring up such nonsense? In all the years you never gave me credit for anything[Bruce Clark] you seem to be having a difficult time and it reflects on how you are parenting the boys............. I don't leave my kids unattended.[Bruce Clark] I don’t think that is what we have talked about here but if you bring it up, yes you have, saying you don’t or haven’t doesn’t change that. That is not what we are trying to talk about here . I don't coach the kids to be disrespectful they are just tired of the way they are treated,[Bruce Clark] they are tired of rules, is what you are trying to say. You do coach them with your actions and talk against me and Jan Wake up to the reality of the boys growing up. I know all those years you feared your dad. [Bruce Clark] what are you talking about. You were never even around when I grew up and what you say here is not true at all but I have heard that you tell the boys the same thing Oh by the way don't blame us moving on me that was your decision to get out of the family business. [Bruce Clark] You are just rambling now and it has nothing to do with the situation last night. I have not heard one word about what Colton’s disciplinary actions were. Personally I think since you were carbon monoxide poisoned your not the same person you used to be. [Bruce Clark] again, this is why I don’t want to speak with you about anything but issues that involve the boys. I wish the best for you and Jan but someday she won't fit into your perfect mold either.[Bruce Clark] I feel sorry fro you, how you dwell on the past Bruce may you and Jan pray for me, and I will pray for you.[Bruce Clark] Linda, this is not a joke. You know we take the boys to church, you know we say grace at the table. We do include you in the table prayer. For you to say that is very wrong. I know you don’t go to church or say grace. Please don’t patronize me for the sake of an e-mail.

As far as good meals the boys are provided with PORK [Bruce Clark] I see you have a problem with Jan’s diet roasts, steaks, mashed potatoes, etc., so don't give me that crap that they are not provided for. I bake apple pies and make brownies. [Bruce Clark] You can’t expect that to fly. You know you eat more fast food in your house then sit down good meals, don’t even attempt to do other wise. I’m not a fool; please don’t treat me as such. As far as speeding them to school I will drive them take away Josh;s rig and then move them to my area if that's the way you want it to be.[Bruce Clark] I never said any such thing. I do know if they leave your house late, pressure to get there on time becomes greater. Your way addressing issues is what concerns me so. Could you not see to it they get out of the house 10 minutes earlier. Do you think that taking away Josh’s car and driving them yourself is easier? And to threaten again to move them from their school as a solution to getting them to school on time a ridicules. There still would be no guarantee they would make it on time if they were in your school district. That’s because you won’t take responsibility for you own actions and control things in your house. If your threatening me to change my parenting habits bring it on, I'll be more then happy to let the judicial system decide the parenting arrangements because after your actions last night all of Highland knows how you really are. [Bruce Clark] That is fine if they understand I will not allow my child to be disrespectful without him being held accountable Don't threaten me because you know what...... I'm not afraid of you anymore......... [Bruce Clark] Your attitude here and in that statement is what’s being translated to the kids. You don’t have to respect your father, don’t be afraid of him. I’m here for you, I won’t let him be mean to you, I’ll tell him his rules are crap and that you guys are just little kids.





Thank you for taking the boys 1 day early. I will be more then happy to have the boys more if that's what you want. [Bruce Clark] That is not what you have said before “no more flex time for me”. You say one thing one day and turn around and say something different the next. That is the same thing you do with the boys and why they never know where you stand. It’s because to don’t stay consistent with them, so they lose respect for you and that leads them to losing respect for everyone. Someday you and Jan will want to do something and ask me in return. I will be more then happy to do so.. and you know it.[Bruce Clark] Again that is not what you have said before and I believe you do so now only to make it look like you are trying your hardest to get along. Again, please don’t make me out a fool, it’s your actions Linda. I have in the past...........

3 quick answers

Many people have been e-mailing me with questions about my cancer, how I’m dealing with my sons and the alienation and sending me stories of their own.


1st my cancer;
The stress of this type of nightmare is beyond peoples comprehension that have not experienced it. I have to deal with the stress of getting cancer at a young age and yet that is nothing compared to the stress, pain and heart break of having your sons minds stolen. I would lay down my life for anyone of my sons at any time but I will not die because of lies.

I have cried most every day of this past year. I have laid awake at night, not being able to get the hurtful words and lies out of my head. I have thoughts of this evil many times a day and cannot believe what has happened and how it happened. When this stress resulted in cancer, I was, in all honesty…at the end of my rope. I started hearing the song in my head about sky diving. Then I received a letter from my oldest son about his feelings toward me. He said I was and had always been his hero, that “you have been the toughest man i have ever met and you are my superman”. I had very good friends go out of their way to help me, to take me to lunch, to call with support, to write with advise and to help me find treatment with my cancer. I have had prayers from many friends and family members. Well, that kind of love can change your outlook.

I have decided to do a very radical diet change to try and slow down the cancer until I can receive radiation treatment, 5 times a week for 8-10 weeks. Please wish me luck.

2nd, how I’m dealing with my 2 alienated sons;
When this nightmare 1st started I made an appointment with the best child psychologist I could find. My ex wife Linda and her attorney was able to stop those appointments for several months. Then after 8 sessions and I agreed to sigh over the boys bank accounts to Linda (which they spent within days, great responsible mother that she is) Linda found a way with a new lie to stop any treatment with Dr. Robert Newell. At any rate, he advise to me had been to see the boys on a limited bases and to do just fun things, so I followed his advice. I had argued that doing so was just the same as me conducting alienation because I would now be the parent that only gave “ice cream and cookies”. He said this is the best way to help the boys over come my ex wife’s negative comments and brain washing about me. I followed his advise, progress was being made and then Linda stopped the treatment when she got what she was asking for, money. They have not been back and any attempt to have them return has been stopped by the court. That is a whole other story and will be told here. This is what I have decided to do. I love my sons, I love them even with all the pain they have caused me and I love them even though I know that the stress of this whole ordeal has cost me dearly in my health and relationship with Jan. For the boys, I have to be a father, I have to me a caring Dad that tries to instill good values and morals in my sons. I do not think that following a couple hour visit every other week can do that. I have to stand up and be a father. After the counseling sessions ended, I was at a loss. I decided that the best thing to do was leave the boys alone because every time I saw them it gave Linda a new reason for the 50 questions and a chance to again tell the boys what I rotten guy I am. I did not want that, I wanted the boys to rest and be happy with where they were and my hope was that they would relax and become more friendly to me. Didn’t happen and yet as all the documentation suggests about this Parental alienation issue, a good result, rarely happens. (hell if you do, hell if you don’t”.

My sons need to understand their involvement in this whole thing. My sons have to be held accountable also, they knew better and yet the temptation of “candy” from their mother, clouded their views. They have done very terrible things, said very terrible things, attacked me and attacked Jan. To forget and to forgive such actions without repentances is wrong. It sends the wrong message. It would say it’s ok to lie and attack people and family in order to profit by getting what they are promised for doing those things. They must apologize and ask for forgiveness from Jan first and then from me. At that time then I will again make an effort for my sons.
For me…I have to save myself. I must reduce the stress in my life and get away from the evil that is killing me, I must.

Please add your comments below. Click on comments and send a note, your experience or your advice.

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Ex wife can legally Kill You

Stress kills!

I am a perfect example of the effects of high levels of stress. At 49 all my tests were great, blood pressure good, PSA good, weight and overall health good. I hunted, fished and played and enjoyed my sons and wife. We attended church together as a family, had friends and family over and enjoyed life. The boys activities were a major point in our lives and we all traveled together.

Then came my ex wife back with a vengeance.

I had remarried to a very smart and beautiful woman, This caused my ex wife of several years to start a campaign of evil. Even though I was ignorant of Parental Alienation at the time, it was very apparent that My ex wife did her best at every opportunity to bad mouth me and my wife to my sons and anyone in the community that would listen. She was and still is very angry and bitter. It seems she cannot elevate herself or herself esteem so she attempts to harm the reputation of others, to bring them down to, or below the level she feels herself in.

Long story short, (just in this blog, much more to come) My wife and I had full custody of my sons. My ex had gambled away and after 7 cars and 2 houses, and many boyfriends (wrote me an e-mail that she had young men standing in line) all of the divorce settlement worth over $80,000 and filed bankruptcy .
It had been agreed that my ex wife would keep the children under her work health care because she stated that it only cost her $8 to do so. That was fine until my ex wife had the need to cause problems. The year I was 49 my ex would not pay anything for the kids health care and raised the deductable to $3,000. After many attempts to get her to pay, including clarification from the court, She just said no to any payments and to take her to court. My wife and I paid the total deductable on my ex wife’s health care policy for that year with nothing from her. My blood pressure started to climb and I was put on medication.

Later a court battle started over custody of the boys. My ex wife was broke and after finding out that I had a great cherry harvest and a super income year, put a plan in place to steal the children from me. She had always threatened to get a huge amount of child support from me but without having custody of the boys she could not. So starts the escalation of parental alienation and laying a ground work within people she knew. Bottom line is that with lies told by her and her attorney and statements made to the court by my two sons who were being mentally manipulated, (documented by a child psychologist the boys were court ordered to see, that it is the worst case of parental alienation that he had ever seen) stole my sons from me and branded me as abusive. This was in December of my 49 year. By March of the next year the court battle and lies continued. My heart was broken and my currant wife and I were having huge marital problems from this issue. I turned 50 and my PSA started to climb. Within 9 months it was confirmed I had cancer.
The reality is that excessive, stress can actually kill you. It can take a very healthy body and destroy it with months. When you're stressed, your body produces the hormone cortisol, which is designed to get your rear in gear as part of the fight-or-flight mechanism. However, this hormone is meant to be released only occasionally in small doses - when stress causes it to be secreted for long periods of time, the body reacts with a variety of different health consequences.
The following are seven of the major health effects caused by stress. If you're experiencing any of these conditions and believe they may be linked to stress, seek medical counseling as soon as possible:
1. Diabetes
Diabetes occurs when the body produces too little insulin to process all the sugars in your body. As these sugars build up, you may experience a number of health problems including thirst, headaches and weight loss. Over time, the condition can cause complications ranging from heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, eye damage, nerve damage, diabetic neuropathy, skin conditions, and gastrointestinal problems.
2. High Blood Pressure
High blood pressure is often referred to as a "silent killer" because there are few actual symptoms that present with the disease. High levels of stress can bring on this condition, which can result in an aneurysm,
coronary heart disease, enlarged heart, damage to the brain and even heart attack. If that isn't a good enough reason to learn to manage your stress - I don't know what is!
3. Weight Gain
People under high levels of stress often experience fluctuations in weight - as anyone who's ever taken comfort in candy bars knows all to well. However, if your weight gain gets out of control, you could be putting yourself at risk for developing cancer, heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, sleep apnea, liver disease and gallbladder disease. If you notice that you've put on a few pounds, try hitting the gym - exercise is also a natural stress reliever.
4. Susceptibility to Disease
Your body can only do so much - when you're under constant pressure, its resources are being diverted to help respond to stress. This leaves the immune system compromised and susceptible to infection by viruses and bacteria. If you've ever noticed yourself coming down with a bug when you're at your most stressed, it isn't just a coincidence - it's your body letting you know that you're under too much stress to handle safely.
5. Depression
Constant stress can make you feel like there's no way out of your predicament, which can eventually lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression. Depression is a serious disease - it's nothing to take lightly. If you find yourself feeling trapped by feelings of despair and despondency, seek professional help immediately.
6. Heart Disease
Type A people beware - stress can and does cause heart disease and heart attacks. Stress contributes to the buildup of plaque in the arteries. As the arteries narrow, the heart has to push the blood even harder to distribute it throughout the body. Over time, this extra stress on the heart can have devastating effects.
7. Cancer
While there's no proven link between stress and cancer, it's widely accepted that excessive stress is a risk factor for developing a type of this deadly disease. Overall, stress weakens the immune system which may allow cancerous tissues to develop and flourish. If you feel that excessive negative stress is causing your immune system to break down, seek help to learn effective stress management techniques that allow you to cope properly.

For more information on Parental Alienation, you can visit the April 2009 blogs on, http://www.madamerican.blogspot.com/