Just stick to your values and keep on keeping on!

Isaiah 40:31

“But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength.     (waiting is the hard part, you must have faith!)

They will fly high on wings like eagles.     (You will get a reward, and it may come in many forms)

They will run and not grow weary.    (because you have the Lord in your heart, He will strengthen you)

They will walk and not faint”.    (You will stand by your convictions and go forward with truth and facts)

Unlike most other plants, Chinese bamboo is quite unique on its own (like your child). When this bamboo is planted, watered, and nurtured for the whole growing season (just as parent that suffers separation from their child due to PA, you still need to nurture in your own way), it does not outwardly develop even just for an inch. (do not get discouraged when your efforts show no result) Then, on the next growing season, the farmer must continue to irrigate, fertilize and care for the bamboo tree and yet nothing happens – it fails to sprout just the same. (Time and time again, year after year it seems that you fail in your effort)

And as the seasons go in and out, the farmer has to continue caring for the bamboo for four consecutive years. (just keep on trying, don’t change) What could really be discouraging is the farmer has nothing substantial to demonstrate for all of his labor in caring and growing the tree. Four lonely years of hard work and caring and yet you have nothing! (just like with the efforts to educate your child or children, you can becomes discouraged, don't give in to that pressure)

And then on the fifth year, something so amazing and incredible Happens! (you just never know the day when all your work will pay off)

All the hard work seems to be paid off on the fifth year because that Chinese bamboo tree seed at last grows and not just growing as we normally see with other plants. The bamboo tree shoots up to more than 80 feet all in just one growing season! Now, that is a very astonishing demonstration of the power of nature! (you have hope, just as the farmer waits for this tree and those who love God wait on the Lord, just keep watering and waiting!)

                   So many smiles, so much love!

Merry Christmas to you and all our children

I am posting this e-mail for everyone, and for my own sons. I hope as to grow and mature, as you yourselves have families, please understand what is important in life. Live your life for God 1st. 

The order of your love is very clear, love your God 1st, love, honor and protect your wife 2nd and then raise your children with love and discipline as God has instructed in the Bible. This is the ONLY (and very simple) road map you have to parenting and living a happy and fulfilling life.

Dad

From Jayne A. Major;

Is it already Christmas time again? It seems like it was only a little while ago that we were ringing in the New Year. Now here we are again. It's always interesting to ask people what the holiday season means to them. Although the answers vary, one thing that is consistent is that our experiences in childhood are typically what determines how we answer that question. And it is typically our parents who set the tone for the holidays and ultimately influenced the positive or negative feelings that carry forward into our own adulthood.

We should all strive to make the holiday season a time of joy for our children. However, we too often associate a joyous Christmas or Hanukkah with the bounty of gifts that one receives. We see mobs of people in the shopping malls who will seemingly stop at nothing to get that last available popular doll or video game for their child. We condition our children to think that the expense and popularity of the gifts they receive represent a measure of their parent's love. This is a trap that all parents must avoid by teaching their children the true meaning of Christmas: the joy of giving.

I have gone into homes where it looked like the parents bought the whole inventory from Toys R Us. In fact, the children and their toys had taken over every room in the house. While merchants would be thrilled if parents would do this, I don't think that it is a good idea. Children have no restraint about asking for anything and everything that crosses their mind to want. It is easy to go overboard at Christmas and Hanukkah by spending too much money. Parents need to be the voice of reason and say "no" to unreasonable requests.

The best gifts are not necessarily expensive, but something that is meaningful that will enhance the quality of the child's life. In our family we posted a wish list. We wrote on the list everything that we wanted with the most important thing at the top. If the desired gift was an expensive item then two or more family members would go in together to share the expense. These lists took a lot of the guess work out of shopping for other family members.

On the other hand, many families don't have money to pay for Christmas presents at all. I suggest that you have everyone write his or her name on a slip of paper and put it in a hat. Each person in the family draws another family member's name. It is their job to think of something that person would enjoy, such as a poem, a drawing, a heartfelt letter, or something delicious to eat. 

A wonderful gift simply doesn't have to be expensive. 

Wishing your and your families a joyous Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!

Sincerely,

Jayne A. Major, Ph.D.
Major Family Services 

Gang bangers and Parental Alienation

It seems the conversation here has turned to my gang banger comments. So let me get that out of the way because it is only one consequence of PAS. Gangs, drugs, poor manners and neglect are an appalling result of poor parenting. Kids do not grow up dreaming of smoking pot, doing drugs, stealing and prostituting themselves.  The need they develop is out of a basic need for love and belonging, for a family atmosphere, and they get that in the organization of the so called gang clans. Understand that these kids are not only looking for love but they are very weak minded and easy to influence because of their damaged mental state. There can be no doubt but that Parental Alienation is Evil. It destroys and forever alters the way a child’s mind develops. There will always be children that are lacking the spirit within them, and they will rebel and stray away from the truth. Efforts to enlighten them, help them and guide them will be resisted (perhaps resented) because they lack strength, they lack the inter strength and character for what ever reason and PA is just one of many issues effecting their minds.

 I have known gangs, known gang members have protected some in my past because as tough of an image they try to portray, when the rubber hits the road, 99.9 % of them are just cowards inside. Their smack talk becomes cries for help when they are confronted. They run for safety of men or women that they know are honorable people. They do so because they know these people will stand up when they cannot. It is the fact that responsible citizens standing for the truth and confronting the mindless pack of dogs, is what keeps our society intact. When confronted publicly, 4-5 cowards will walk away from one virtuous man or woman. Yet even cowardly, homeless dogs find strength in a pack and that is what a gang is. It is only a force when it has a large following. Gutless, spineless and pathetic animals will gravitate towards each other in an effort to cover for each of their weakness. In a pack or gang, it takes a lot of warm bodies in an attempt to fill such a void.  

Where animals do not have a parent for long, most  children are different. There are cases where kids don’t know their father and their mother is a whore and drug addict. For those, only God and can help them through his church on earth.

This brings me to the core of the problem with our world, we have pushed God out.

Children are not born with moral values and concepts, they learn them at home and in the church.

 Ephesians 4 -14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blow here and there by wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love.  

Infants, contrast to maturity. Teaching, then as now, there are many distorted teachings. Deceitful scheming, not innocently misguided but deliberately deceitful and evil.

We all need God and Jesus Christ in our life to survive! There would be no PA, there would be no gangs, there would be no family crises of any kind if the family (the father as the leader and the mother as his companion and supporter) would follow the simple teachings in the bible. It is there for anyone at any time to read. Many  good study bibles are easier to read and understand. Churches have information pamphlets available and bible study class before the regular services. To attend such classes that discuss family issues is a great way to stay on the correct path with your children. The support you can get from your church members and those of all ages and experiences who attend your class, is invaluable!  BUT, to be successful, you must attend as a family! Mother and Father united and directed by what they learn in the church. Children need to be educated in Sabbath class, to the words and teachings of Jesus Christ.

I thought it fitting to include the two quotes below.

"It should be your care, therefore, and mine, to elevate the minds of our children and exalt their courage; to accelerate and animate their industry and activity; to excite in them an habitual contempt of meanness, abhorrence of injustice and inhumanity, and an ambition to excel in every capacity, faculty, and virtue. If we suffer their minds to grovel and creep in infancy, they will grovel all their lives." --John Adams, Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law, 1756

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Doctors Comment

The Doctors Comment is below my remarks

It is nice to know that the people who view this blog are a very diverse crowd. Most are victims of PA or a mental disorder in some manner but we also have those like this doctor who are willing to take the time to contribute to the information posted here.

The point of my  blog is that information is the only real way to combat the lies that have been told and drilled into to your children’s minds.

The debate from the good Doctor could be; does the mental illness from a PA practicing parent effect the mental wellness of your children. Or, is it genetic? Look at the practicing parent, does his or her parents suffer from a mental illness? Do they show signs of odd behavior? If so, is it preordained that the children will suffer also?

I maintain that in most cases, we make our own choices. That if your children can get away from the crazy, mentally ill parent, they can grow up with at least a better value structure in life and thus, perhaps, raise and treat their own families better and without the  Parental Alienation that effected their own lives, ruined their childhood and maybe adversely effected their future happiness.

Pray for those children, that their minds and their happiness can be filled, made whole and complete with the love of God.

Dr N PHD has left a new comment on your post "Comment posted":

Yes, unfortunately we do learn from our environment. A great example is the poem “Children Learn What They Live”.
However, this poster is not taking into consideration the evidence which clearly shows that BPD, Bi-Polar, schizophrenia, Anxiety/Panic, Depression and a host of other mental illness is proven to be Genetic so with that said, merely showing the children that their mother is suffering from mental illness simply may not work because a percentage of those same children are going to be suffering from a mental illness also.
Sincerely,
Dr. N PHD



Posted by Dr N PHD to Evils Of Parental Alienation at May 4, 2011 6:21 PM

 In my case, the doctors words are interesting as my ex was on medication for years, perhaps still is (or should be) and that other doctors point out that her actions indicate a mental problem. All the court documents point to and suggest that she has an extreme anger problem and without a doubt, (documented) practices Parental Alienation and has for years even while we were still married. I was just to blind and to ignorant of this issue to see it.

Yet the sick and evil part that the court systems plays in all of this, is just as disturbing and disguising

 The love of grandchildren is such a blessing! It helps to fill the deep holes in your heart.

Everyone has a choice

“Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who have left the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.” (Proverbs 2:12-15, NIV)

Each of us has the ability to choose our daily path, choose wisely!

You'll find that many of the challenges you may be facing – like negativity, stress or ineffective communication – can be overcome by simply investing more time in doing what matters most to you at work and at home.

~David Vittoria

Perhaps time well spent would be reading the bible? Understanding Gods word? Talking with family members? Eating dinner together at the table and visiting about the day’s events?

Perhaps returning to a life that respects others and not quite so focused on one’s self.

What do you think? What matters to you?

Would this simple idea help our families and perhaps positively address the PA issue?

I think so.

..

2nd comment from Linda Clark

Again, the letter illustrates a disturbed mind and how it uses personal attacks, lies and  PA as tools.

Nowhere does she address the school issue, but, she has just recently, personally walked in and had me removed from using the school website to view grades and attendance. This is how the issue was address in her mind, as long as I (Dad) don’t know about it or can’t find out, it will be ok and her actions or consequences for inaction, won’t be exposed, all at the expense of the children. I don't think their welfare has ever been the 1st consideration and e-mails and documents will substantiate my claim.

The letter is below and I will add my comments within it, in BLUE

Anonymous said...

Jan you just now stated NOW that your legally seperated hmmmm which is dated April 2011..Looking at the blog it clearly shows the date as February or 2009. I wonder sometimes, can a person be so blind or is she cunning in the way she blots out the facts that are before her eyes? To include the truth would stop any argument or comment so she has to deliberately avoid the truth.   Hmmm again Brucer purgered himself in court back in Oct 2010 stating more then once he was legally divorced from you... in Yakima county, I stated the fact also they may find it interesting to see your web pages and all the photos you have posted... of yourselves together dated 2011..There is no secret that I still love and enjoy Jan. I hope for a full reconciliation of our relationship at some point in the future but am willing to take it one day at a time right now. I fully enjoy the time I spend with all those I still consider as my family and my grand kids through Jan.   Good for you to show the lies that you've told.......There are no lies. I do think that she wonders why I would keep pursuing Jan after our "D" and that I did not do the same with her. I believe this question to be self apparent to all.  This web site and others are being forwarded to the authorities..She just can’t help herself, last letter is that she was not doing anything and just moving on and within 24 hours is back involving the court again. What does she hope to prove? For what reason? Hope she forwards my Blog also, to late :) I already have many times :)  Not printed but just the info to ck it all all out....but anyone can look at these and they will and have.....Wow, did you read the last 11 words? She made everything very clear how her mind works for everyone to see. You also had court interviews of minors posted... Oh another NO NO.... Shame on you both..........Interesting and I think the court will find this very interesting you must be very careful what you post as your lies don't come around to a full circle..She still has never said what one lie is As far as seeking help you and Bruce are the ones who need this.. I have never seen two grown people over the age of 50your in your 50's my goodness Grow up...... to be so obcessed with me...As for me, my blog is to help others understand PA, how it destroys lives, how to recognize it and perhaps, how to address it before it effects children in a more negative way. I also post this very personal part of my life as a testimony to my own experience, PA and the family court system and how it has affected my life and that of my children and family. Lead your blessed lives with all your happiness and leave us the heck alone..I do think that my comment in that blog about language has made a positive effect on her, if only in this one letter, it is a good start as I can’t remember her ever using the word “heck”.  No one cares about you two.... You both moved to Oregon Horray Horray...How does she know that when she said just the other day that the boys don’t know where you live, perhaps she was lying then?  so how can you both be the Tieton Truth and The Tieton Reporter.. Do yourselves a favor and stop while your ahead......I’m not sure how she has included me in this other blog, I just started looking at it.
Several people in the community responded to your BS blog as they are tired of you and your ridiculous hipicritical crap..Dang, it is sad to see a grownup playing make believe with this thing about other people in the community. I saw the comments and do not believe for a second that others would use that language and attacks. I stand by my belief that it is Linda or perhaps, one of the children under her direction.  I am sure a Doctor looking at the writing would agree with me. Quit preaching the religion and pray for people when obviously you need to be prayed for....The whole concept of prayer and religion escapes her and we have prayed for you....... All of those are not from me... so stop the accusations. OK, who are they from? And if they feel as strongly about the writing as they suggest, why withhold their name? .Jan I understand you've been married several times and ran away from home and gave birth at a very young age.Wow, now there is a Christian attack with no facts! this is not even close to a correct accounting of Jans early life. But then the truth, if Linda knew the truth about Jan, is not something she would like everyone to know as it would point out what a strong woman Jan really is Quit preaching and judging look at yourself in the mirror and fix your own life... Why don't you post what I have to say Oh I forgot no truth can be posted.....Seems it is posted because I have seen it and copied it to here. I am not going to waste anymore time on your pathectic lives....And Oh Bruce why would you blog Colton I Love You come visit me this Summer. Because if you show him the whole blog, maybe I will get something to him. Hell he couldn't even if he wanted to too he doesn' and your two others sons don't even know where you live....She just said that she knew, minutes ago in this letter of hers. The cards I have sent all have a return address, my e-mail is the same, my phone number has not changed and I am on face book for all to see, visit and Kaleb and Josh have.  What kind of mental abuse are you throwing his way again..Here we go, here is the allegations and charges and lies again… You abandoned Kaleb, Dakota and Colton... So move on..... Not one weekend visitation in a year and half....You didn't even acknowledge Kalebs marriage....but he had to go along with yours and your bitter wife....What can one say, this is just a reoccurring theme with her. Anyway good luck in all that you do and someday it will come around and bite you back. God will deal with this all in his way, and I see he has already started the process...... Yes, she thinks that my cancer is Gods way of punishing me. I trust in God and that everything is for a reason. I believe that my problems here were and are test of my faith, a test that brought me closer to Christ. This I believe was His plan and the rest is yet to be reviled. I pray for all my sons with all my strength and all my soul.  I even pray for Linda, and at times I think I am sincere and at times, I know I am just saying the words.

Still, if I have learned anything, it is to let go of hate and disappointment. To look forward to what can be. To embrace signs of improvement and to stand firm in the face of anger and mistruths. Because of my love for my savoir Jesus Christ, my sons and all my extended family and church family,,, I believe without a doubt that the power of prayer and the truth and the wisdom of time will prevail, and that my relationship with all my sons and family members will be restored.

April 18, 2011 9:00 PM 

 “He is not here; He has risen!” (Luke 24:6, NIV)

His mission on earth was accomplished! He did exactly what needed to be done to save each and every one of us from the sins that tempt us every single day! The very same power that was living in Christ and allowed Him to arise from the dead is living in each of us if we choose to accept it. The choice is ours! It belongs to each of us individually. Make your choice today! He died for us; let’s live for Him!