tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post5218095347893355287..comments2023-05-08T06:05:25.638-07:00Comments on Evils Of Parental Alienation: #4 Is alienation a mental illness or just evil?Just A Dadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08231549265498550760noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-3859483966214962012010-02-22T08:36:36.780-08:002010-02-22T08:36:36.780-08:00False accusations and Parental Alienation are terr...False accusations and Parental Alienation are terrible acts and all states should have a significant civil<br />remedy for it. The article below discusses a New Jersey case where apparently that is going to<br />happen.<br />From Henry Gottlieb's "Exes can sue over ruined ties to couple's children" (New Jersey Law Journal,<br />12/1/08):<br />For the first time in New Jersey, a judge has recognized the right of parents to collect<br />damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress when their relationships with their<br />children are poisoned by former spouses.<br />Superior Court Judge Maurice Gallipoli ruled on Nov. 21 that a man can sue his ex-wife<br />and her parents for allegedly turning his children against him by making false accusations<br />that he had committed sexual misconduct.<br />The damage suit alleges that the ex-wife and her parents, Daniel and Barbara Marese,<br />began alienating the children from the father during the predivorce separation in 2006.<br />The defendants falsely told the children, court-appointed psychiatrists and law<br />enforcement officials that the father was a sex addict and had molested the children in the<br />past, the suit says.<br />And it says the children are afraid to sleep at their father's house because they have been<br />told they are in danger of being sexually abused.<br />The wife and her parents denied the allegations and argued in motions to dismiss the suit<br />for failure to state a claim that the Heart Balm Act had eliminated the cause of action.<br />Indeed, they pointed out, the term "alienating the children" is what the complaint calls the<br />alleged wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-66450217880981985072010-02-22T08:07:06.335-08:002010-02-22T08:07:06.335-08:00“Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hur...“Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” (Luke 6:28, NLT) <br /><br />Our tendency is to curse those who curse us and to damn those that hurt us! But, none of us are perfect; God’s plan is for ALL of us to be saved – even those that curse us or hurt us! The next time you feel like getting “even”, stop and ask the Holy Spirit to intervene. Soften your heart and use love to overcome hatred! Have a blessed day!<br /><br />Your Friend in Christ,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5555262952678781728.post-24345317362009610032010-02-21T10:07:28.233-08:002010-02-21T10:07:28.233-08:00Richard A. Gardner, M.D.
New York -- With increas...Richard A. Gardner, M.D.<br /><br />New York -- With increasing child custody disputes has come a growth in "parental alienation syndrome," Dr. Richard A. Gardner said at a meeting of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis.<br /><br />Abetted by one parent, the child develops an obsessive, irrational hatred of the other, who is "viewed as the incarnation of evil," said Dr. Gardner, a child psychiatrist at the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, New York.<br /><br />Ninety percent of the time, the father is the victim; but in 10% the roles are reversed. There is no history of abuse. "To call it brainwashing would be an oversimplification...the child jumps on the mother's bandwagon...but adds his own scenario," he said.<br /><br />In the typical presentation, which may arise within days of the announcement of custody conflict, the child obsessively denigrates the father, with no empathy and little guilt. The denigration has a litany quality; every altercation of the past is used to justify his hatred.<br /><br />Lack of Normal Ambivalence <br />When asked why he never wanted to see his father again, one little boy said that "he chewed too loud" and added, "He used to say, `Don't interrupt.' "<br /><br />Bizzare charges, condoned by the mother, may be made. One child said that his father had murdered his grandfather, who had actually died, at age 85, in the hospital. The father "was the kind of person who would do it," the boy declared, supplying details of the crime.<br /><br />When asked what she thought, the mother said she didn't actually believe the murder had happened, adding "but I wouldn't put it past him," Dr. Gardner said.<br /><br />A hallmark of the syndrome is the child's lack of normal ambivalence toward both parents: He can find nothing he dislikes about his mother and nothing he likes about his father.<br /><br />The hatred may extend to the father's family; grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins with whom relations had previously been good are now viewed as despicable, Dr. Gardner said.<br /><br />Evidence that might counteract the distortions is met with rationalization and delusion. Asked about a photograph from happier times in which the family was together at Disney World, one boy explained that "if I didn't smile for the picture, he'd beat me."<br /><br />He believes the syndrome has arisen as a result of social and legal changes of the last 15 or 20 years. In the mid-1970's, the presumption that the mother is the de facto preferred custodial parent gave way to an "egalitarian" commitment to determine the child's best interests in a gender-blind fashion.<br /><br />Custody disputes burgeoned and the erosion of the mother's position deepened in the late 1970's and early 1980's with the increasing popularity of the joint custody concept...<br /><br />In severe cases of parental alienation syndrome -- the alienating parent is unamenable to therapy and so filled with rage, paranoia, and delusions that a virtual folie a deux has developed with the child -- the only hope is court ordered removal of the child to the other parent's home. In this case, the primary psychological bond is strong but "sick," he said.<br /><br />In more moderate cases, the bond must be respected but the child induced to see the other parent. "Being respectful of the child's wishes won't work," Dr. Gardner said.<br /><br />To give the child no choice but to see the father provides an excuse that allows him to protect his relationship with the mother ("I still hate him, but the judge says I have to").<br /><br />In moderate and milder cases, truncating custody litigation is probably more therapeutic than any intervention in resolving the syndrome. "Once the threat is gone, there's no need for the scenario," he said.<br /><br />The syndrome may be seen at any age past 3 or 4 years. When a couple in their fifties divorces acrimoniously, a variant may occur in children in their twenties.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com